Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Queuing etiquette

58 replies

HariboAndWine · 28/05/2013 08:56

On the weekend dh and I took dc to a local fair. Ds wanted his face painted and as the queue was quite short we headed over.
There were 2 women with 1 child each waiting. As it was approaching her turn the woman in front of me announced loudly to her dd that they would go off to another stall and be back when it was their turn Confused. She then returned with 4 other children whose turn it was now apparently. I pointed out that my ds had been waiting and it was now our turn. I told her I thought it was unfair for my ds to have to wait for these children who hadn't waited in line. She then told me they would be having their turn next as she had been holding their place (although hadn't been) I pointed out that it would have been polite to have let me know.

Now I do realise that in the grand scheme of things this is fairly minor but grated me. I almost never stand up for myself but said 'I'm sorry but I disagree and think you are very rude'.

Arghh it all sounds so petty written down but if you can be bothered with something fairly trivial, wibu or was she?

OP posts:
Peevish · 28/05/2013 09:36

When I was living in the Middle East, a particularly unpleasant breed of expat used to make their maids queue for their children in this kind of situation, and the children would shove their way in front of said maids once they got to the top of the queue, without so much as a glance or a thank you.

Frog, where was the theatre where this happened? I ask because at any of the London theatres where I regularly queued (RHO and NT), there was a very strict queueing etiquette, probably because there were a lot of regulars, often retired people and students. Everyone knew how many tickets were available, and how many were allocated per person, so people tended to count along the queue to see how many people were there, to see if it was worth their while. Anyone who called in a non-queueing friend at the last minute would have been torn limb from limb!

Original poster
HariboAndWine · 28/05/2013 09:39

peevish. Maids? Just Shock

OP posts:
MrsFruitcake · 28/05/2013 09:42

YANBU about this.

There is no such thing as 'queue holding', it's very rude and if you want something, you have the decency to wait in line with all the other people.

I would have said exactly the same. What was the outcome BTW?

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 28/05/2013 09:52

Don't get me started on queues! Growing up you would form a line at the bus stop or at least be aware of those who had been queuing first and allow them to board the bus before you. Not these days, it's a bloody free for all. You can be waiting there for 10 mins then someone will come along as the bus is pulling up. They barge on and get the last few seats and the driver closes the doors and you have to wait for the next bus.

This all started when the weekly tickets started being issued.

Angry Angry Angry

Original poster
HariboAndWine · 28/05/2013 09:52

Sadly the outcome was not in our favour. She insisted it was her turn, she had waited on her children's behalf and they were going next. All I could say was 'I don't agree and there's nothing you can say to convince me you are right. I think you are very rude' My ds questioned me later and I was able to say that although that lady had been really rude we hadn't been but had stood up for ourselves as best we could. Not worth creating a scene over and although I was annoyed that the face painter said nothing, I'm not sure this woman could have been told.

OP posts:
BarredfromhavingStella · 28/05/2013 10:01

She was relying on you backing down as she's a bully. I'd have just said 'it's not happening, you didn't even stay in the queue so you're certainly not going in front of me' then I'd have plonked dc in the seat & told face painter to go ahead.

Cannot stand people that don't get the concept of queuing...

Tailtwister · 28/05/2013 10:05

YWNBU. If the children wanted to have their faces painted they should have been waiting in the line.

WireCatWhore · 28/05/2013 10:22

I'm sure face painting queues bring out the worst in people.

Was waiting at a fete some years back. It was a nice straight line queue. All cheerful. We parents were talking to each other as it was a hot day & a long queue. All friendly.

Suddenly along comes a man with his child insisting he was next. Now by this time I'd been there 20 mins (I know!) & the 2 families in front had been there longer.

He was frightening the children & tbh, us.

The face painters let his children go next, despite the fact no one had seen him queuing.

When I was leaving, I saw him arguing with the hook a duck volunteers as his children had only won a sweet.

There are some extremely rude people out there.

I am typically British in my approach to queuing and people who push in really annoy me.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 28/05/2013 11:23

Stella it's just not worth it though....that's how the punch up in my face painting queue happened. Two adults...neither backing down.

Original poster
HariboAndWine · 28/05/2013 12:51

I agree maxi but stella oh how I wanted to do as you suggest!

OP posts:
BarredfromhavingStella · 28/05/2013 13:50

I'll always challenge shit etiquette-especially regarding queuing, have yet to be involved in a punch up over this... Hmm

YouStayClassySanDiego · 28/05/2013 15:34

I challenged some queue jumpers the night Skyfall was released.

The queue started early, probably an hour before we were let in and was horribly long. We were about 10 feet from the front behind the barrier and some cheeky buggers [two of them] hovered by the doors to the auditorium. Me and other people could clock what they were doing yet when the staff told them to line up they fed him some bollocks as they went in as the doors opened.

There were words had with the staff as we walked in and when we got inside I asked them what right they felt they had to get in first and not queue, it was nice to see them squirming as others also told them they were arses and they reserved seats next to them for their late arriving mates.

I was seething!

MoanyYoni · 28/05/2013 15:45

You were definitely NBU, she was a rude cow. You were doing the right thing and setting a good example to your DS. She was basically teaching her kids that you don't have to queue in life, mummy will do it for you. Not great for when they get into the real world.

WhoeverHeardOfAWormskinRug · 28/05/2013 16:08

NeoMaxiZoom... That is a brilliant idea! I'm a facepainter in training - I've done a few charity events, and I'm hopefully going to apply for face accreditation this summer. I think a ticketing/appointment system might be the way to go! Grin

I think that place-holding is horrible and selfish. Yanbu!

thecatcamebacktheverynextday · 28/05/2013 16:20

Ooh this reminds me of the days a few years back (pre-baby) when we used to go abroad for holidays. On the way home, you'd get to the airport and everyone on the coach would queue up to be checked in - without fail every time there would be someone from the back of the queue who would saunter up to someone further up who they had 'met' on the holiday, start up a conversation with them and gradually try to inch their way into the queue. Used to drive me insane Angry Angry Angry

One year it happened to us - some fake-posho woman who thought she was well-to-do tried to push in front of us with the couple in front. She inched her way in and I kept blocking her until eventually she told me this was 'her' spot in the queue. I told her off. Grin. Unfortunately she wouldn't budge and both my boyfriend and the couple she'd latched onto hid so she forced her way in anyway, but was suitably red-faced about it.

Then there was the time at Disneyland Paris where a group of French boys tried to push in front of us in a queue - teenage me blocked them so one of them pushed me against a wall. I pushed him back and we had a slagging match in our respective languages. Luckily no security around to see...

Queue-jumpers give me the absolute rage.

HandMini · 28/05/2013 16:20

She was a nob and setting a great example to her children to behave like entitled bullying brats. OP, I would have done the same as you - stood my ground verbally, but I would not have physically barged through/plonked my DC on the seat, as I would be afraid of it escalating. I'd just put it down to bad luck that your lives coincided.

pigletmania · 28/05/2013 16:28

That is so rude and entitled. It's not the face painting but the principle. Te face interred not support you, I would have foud something else my ds would have lied to do and Sid the lot of em

pigletmania · 28/05/2013 16:28

Meant the face painter should have supported you

pigletmania · 28/05/2013 16:29

Found something else your ds wanted to do and sod the lot of em

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 28/05/2013 17:01

Piglet as someone who has worked at VERY busy venues as a face painter, I assure you that it's almost never possible to intervene as you're looking down all the time and can't see who is in the right. I ended up employing an assistant to hand out numbered tickets and fetch me coffees!

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 28/05/2013 17:06

Hmm. Face-painting. Another child-related racket that has had the joy sucked out of it by parents

LaGuardia · 28/05/2013 17:06

Facepainting should go into the same black hole as indoor softplay.

KatoPotato · 28/05/2013 17:09

If it's any consolation I'm going to imagine the next motorway queue skipper has their face painted!

I'm thinking full spiderman cowel...

Sparklypinknails · 28/05/2013 17:20

I get almost as annoyed with the staff who allow queue jumping as I do the queue jumpers. I was in a shop once queuing and when it was finally my turn a woman jumped in front. I said to her "excuse me, I was in the queue and I'm next". She ignored me. So I said to the staff member, "excuse me, I was in the queue, this woman wasn't, so ill be next". She sighed and served me first but didnt say anything during the entire transaction. It was so rude.

pigletmania · 28/05/2013 17:21

Well neo it does put a lot of pressure on face painters. That's a good idea. Ultimately that woman was In te wrong