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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask would you judge

41 replies

HatHunger · 27/05/2013 23:20

A parent whose infant school age daughter has a bedtime (or rather will not go to bed before) 1030pm and who seems to exist on chocolate bars and Capri sun - at least a couple a day of both, is permanently attached to some weird pink computer game thing and is never made to say please and thank you. Trying not to be judgy but can't help myself.

The child is my half sister (dad's and his partner's child).

My dad was much stricter with me, going back 30 years, and can't quite believe how relaxed (read: lax) he is this time around.

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 28/05/2013 01:53

Just guessing mind you.

raisah · 28/05/2013 07:42

Is your dads dp much younger than him? Possibly she is bringing up her dd the way she was brought up & cant see anything wrong with it. You need to tackle it diplomatically, take some treats the next time you see her like organix & juice (you can get watered down fruit juice in little boxes). Only give it to your sister if she says pleasr & thanks and praise her loads when she does so. Get a sticker chart so every time she is good she gets a sticker. If you talk to her parents they may gey defensive but if you buy her little gifts it maybe a more diplomatic way of dealing with this issue. Its good that you care just be careful how you tackle it. Orchard toys have little board games like shopping list and picnic so take her one next time and play with her.

IneedAsockamnesty · 28/05/2013 18:05

She's not her child, how they decide to parent their own child is their Buisness not the op's.

You don't do stuff like star charts with other people's children unless those children are either in your care or the parents have asked you to.

SPsCliffingAllOverMN · 28/05/2013 18:08

Doing a star chart for someone else child? Confused Why would anyone do that? Its her sister and its up to her father and his wife/gf how they parent her.

usualsuspect · 28/05/2013 18:11

People parent differently ,

McNewPants2013 · 28/05/2013 18:16

My son has around 4 hours sleep a night and he is hyper from the time he wakes till the time.

It don't sound like she is struggling in school, so I would keep out of it.

YoniOneWayOfLife · 28/05/2013 18:24

When you (only) have a toddler, other people's six year olds, and what they do with them, is weird - I remember thinking my niece and her parents were distinctly odd. Then I got a 6 year old and the penny dropped.

It may be that this is normal for your SM.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 28/05/2013 19:09

:o at the star chart.

MN is plain odd sometimes.

raisah · 28/05/2013 19:59

Wannabe

I was given a star chart as a gift for my kids for me to do implement at home. I don't expect the op to do the star chart for her sister, more for her parents to impkement at home. Don't teachers do similar at school to encourage good behaviour? Not odd then is it?

IneedAsockamnesty · 28/05/2013 20:00

Its very odd indeed trying to implement one with a child that is not yours.

marriedinwhiteagain · 28/05/2013 20:10

My DS went to bed at 10-10.30 from about two. I never had to wake him util he was about 15 or 16 (and that was because he was going a lot later)

That was his natural body clock. DH and I don't need huge amounts of sleep and although dd needs a bit more she was never a 7.30 downer.

The please and thank you would irk me hugely. One choccy bar and capri sun are enough but I think a bit of what you fancy does you good!

wannabedomesticgoddess · 28/05/2013 20:10

Teachers are entrusted with the care and education of children.

Sisters are not.

And tbh, if someone had to give me a star chart I would either be mightily offended, or embarrassed that they thought my children were so badly behaved as to require one.

Amandaclarke · 28/05/2013 20:17

You don't sound in the least bit jealous but there's always someone who just wants to be vindictive on here Hmm

I would judge and judge hard too - it's not fair on the child in the long run.

WinnieFosterTether · 28/05/2013 20:48

YoniOneWay I thought that too. If op is comparing a 6-year-old with a toddler then parenting does look very different! My ds as a toddler always said please and thank you. In just the last month, he's started 'forgetting'. We always remind him but if we weren't there, a 'concerned' bystander might think he had no manners.

FarBetterNow · 28/05/2013 21:00

Capri Sun seems fine to me - I've just looked up the ingredients: juice, water, sugar and natural flavours -though wouldn't be good at bedtime.
The chocolate is probably partly to blame for her not sleeping.

It's a shame that she's not given a healthy diet - it may sort out the late bedtime.

IneedAsockamnesty · 28/05/2013 23:26

Those who would judge this badly what exactly would you be judging?

The op does not live with this child so all she knows is when she is about the child eats chocolate drinks Capri sun and plays with a electronic game.

Granted the please and thank you thing is not good but everything else is just a bit of a none issue

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