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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking for a borrowed item to be returned

16 replies

chanie44 · 27/05/2013 22:53

I lent Dsis a baby walker for Dn, who is 6 months older than Dd.

I forgot that we had it and when I saw Dsis with it, said I wanted it back for Dd. Dsis said Dn needed it for another month but after a bit of back and forth, gave it back but had the hump.

Dm thinks IABU and Dd had only just started crawling and doesn't need it yet.

Dn had had the toy for about 7 months now. When we bought it for ds, he lost interest in it pretty quickly when he started walking. I want dd to get as much play out of it ad she can. We help her to practice standing and there are buttons and lights and sounds that she can play with, so she can use it.

Whilst I feel guilty for DN, I was happy to lend it out, but it is Dd's toy and she will probably be walking within 6 months, so I want her to get as much out of it as she can.

AIBU?

OP posts:
CloudsAndTrees · 27/05/2013 22:58

If its the type of baby walker that has wheels and the baby can move it after being plonked in the middle of it, then YABU for using on in the first place.

But other than that, YANBU to want your own property back when you feel you want it.

Original poster
chanie44 · 27/05/2013 23:05

No, it's the type that the baby pushes and walks with.

OP posts:
Oldraver · 27/05/2013 23:07

Why do you need to help a baby practice standing Confused

HollyBerryBush · 27/05/2013 23:07

Read your OP back to yourself.

I lent it
I forgot I had it
I saw it
I want it back

LittleMissLucy · 27/05/2013 23:17

don't use a baby walker - you'll get a kid who goes about on tippy toes.

janey223 · 27/05/2013 23:19

A little bit, you could have given more notice I feel bad for your DN. could you point out that they're very cheap second hand?

Your DD is probably still to young to use it as she needs to be more stable standing on her own or it'll just slip away ime. Although maybe it's better on carpet, I have laminate and DS was standing steadily and had been cruising for ages before he used it but I picked up a second hand ride on for about £4 and he still pushes that around.

DiscoDonkey · 27/05/2013 23:20

It's not a sit in one it's a push along one. Personally I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for it back.

livingdownunder · 27/05/2013 23:21

I agree with Holly. You lent it and dn uses it, you'd forgotten about it and then decided you wanted it back.
It wasn't dd's toy as you claimed you got it for ds and he lost interest in it. Just seems like dd isn't really needing it but you saw it and wanted it back.
Yabu.
If it had been explicit and said "You can use this until dd is 6mths! or similar then you would have been within your rights to demand it back. Seems harsh on your dsis if she said she only needed it for another month.

cerealqueen · 27/05/2013 23:23

You lent something out and now want it back. Fair enough, as long as your sis realises it was a loan, which she must do given you have a child who will need it at some stage.

What is annoying is when somebody gives you something, then wants it back, or starts to impose conditions on it, as to who you should give it to next!

timidviper · 27/05/2013 23:23

The fact is IT IS YOURS. You lent it to your sister, you did not give it to her so you are entitled to have it back whenever you want it

Original poster
chanie44 · 28/05/2013 00:38

When I say I had 'forgotten' I mean I only remembered to ask when I saw it iyswim. I saw it at Dsis house a few weeks ago and I said 'dd will be ready for that soon'. Then I saw today and said Dd needed it.

The problem is that DN has taken longer to walk than expected and now we are at a point whereby both DN and DD could use it. There is no guarantee that DN will be walking in a months time anyway.

Dd is 9 months and has started to pull herself up to a standing position so its the right time for her to get used to it. We originally bought it for Ds and when he started walking at 12 months, he lost interest it in pretty quickly, that's why I want Dd to play with it as much as she can, whilst she can.

OP posts:
bottleofbeer · 28/05/2013 00:43

It's yours, it's fine to ask for it back.

Sore subject with me atm. Lent a friend shit loads of books and DVDs, my books are my world and there are parts of trilogies and sets that she's got. The DVDs not so much but if they are a tenner a pop and she's got 15 of them then you know...

Asked and asked (nicely) since xmas (she's had them about 18 months now) and she keeps saying she'll drop them in (we live on the same road) and she still hasn't.

It's really put me off lending anything to anybody now. You lend something to somebody out of goodwill, it's absolutely not unreasonable to ask for it back when it's needed.

IKnowWhat · 28/05/2013 00:45

I don't think YABU. It sounds like your DD will be using it soon.

SnapCackleFlop · 28/05/2013 00:53

YANBU - It was something that you owned and you lent it out and now want it to be returned (because it was lent out and not given as gift or sold). It doesn't matter imo who is going to use it more or need it more. It was kind to lend the thing in the first place and it's sad that so often the person doing the lending ends up feeling like they're in the wrong.

DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved · 28/05/2013 01:02

I'd ask for it back in a months time - but asking now. That way it's considerate but you still get it back and get some use out of it

CaurnieBred · 28/05/2013 14:21

LittleMissLucy: not all toe walking is caused by baby walkers. DD never had one yet is an idiopathic toe walker.

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