Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


WIBU to say something the next time this man thoughtless/rude/ignorant. whatever?

11 replies

lolaflores · 27/05/2013 15:19

Have just joined a group that is long established and from what I can tell, has a membership of mostly older people. Put it this way, I am amongst the youth at aged 45. Also, quite a "comfortable" group, all know each other for years etc.
The other day went to a talk about an issue mostly related to women. One older gentleman pipes up
"Well, I witnessed a moment of hope for western men the other day. An asian neighbour supervising his wife cutting the lawn with shears"!
He gave a punch in the air and a whoop.
He is probably in his late 70's or early 80's. He made various other comments in a similar vein throughout the evening.
GIven that I am a pup just in the door, do I;
a) keep me mouth shut and not start stirring
b) pull him on it the next time
c) ask the chairman of the group to have a word in general or something.

OP posts:

littlediamond33 · 27/05/2013 15:25

i think 'c'


HorryIsUpduffed · 27/05/2013 15:25

Innocently ask "What do you mean?" Follow up with "But that doesn't make sense."

Is the group otherwise lovely? I'm not sure I'd go so far as to approach the chair. Everyone else might be agreeing with you.


CocacolaMum · 27/05/2013 15:32

I would call him on it - age is not an excuse to be a twat


kinkyfuckery · 27/05/2013 15:34

I'd call him out on it, in front of the group.


lolaflores · 27/05/2013 15:41

I would be in a party of one I think. but nothing new there. There also followed a lively discussion on Islam. This was the day after the Woolwich incident and it occured to me that there is still so much work to do on making people see each others points of view or even lives. I am sure if I do say something. it will be PC gone mad or what have you. But, do we simply let older people away cos they are older and its not worth the fuss, which is what I thought. then I got a bit pissed of with myself for letting it pass. One other woman was shaking her head and the rest of them ignored him largely....
what if he has alzheimers or soemthing?

OP posts:

Iggi101 · 27/05/2013 17:23

Calling the neighbour "asian" had probably taken years of training from his own children!


Hubb · 27/05/2013 17:48

I always feel awful in that situation too if I have let something pass. I think u always regret not saying anything but if you had spoken up, even if it was awkward, you would be glad of it in the end.

I like the "what do you mean" suggestion haha!

I really think being silent is like being complicit, it allows these things to continue. Easier said than done, but you know you can do it!


Hubb · 27/05/2013 17:50

Even if he won't change (he probably won't!), at least you will have shown that you don't agree, that's my thinking


AKissIsNotAContract · 27/05/2013 17:52

I'm not sure I do know what he means! How does a woman cutting the lawn with shears give hope to western men?


Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 27/05/2013 18:04

I assume it's meant to be a sterling example of putting the wife in her domestic servantile place. Hmm

He's an ignorant twat.


AKissIsNotAContract · 27/05/2013 18:10

I think I'd turn the comment around, overlook the sexism and say 'why didn't you lend them your lawn mower, that's not very neighbourly'

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?