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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to sit in my garden without being subjected to next doors loud music?

111 replies

jamdonut · 26/05/2013 16:32

Just that.

Lovely sunny day,chance to go out and sit in the garden, but next door have friends and their children over,and are playing awful repetitive Ibiza style music loudly. We've tried playing some Muse back at them,and they turned it down a bit,then we went in to have lunch and they turned it back up Angry I wouldn't dare go talk to them about it...they're scary!

OP posts:
Boomba · 02/06/2013 23:13

Agree tin that its just part of being human.

what I also dont get, is a reluctance to say something, if it is realy bothering you. How are people supposed to know if you dont tell them Confused

alienbanana · 02/06/2013 23:25

DS took his little CD player out into the garden and was listening to music. How dare he :)

googlyeyes · 02/06/2013 23:52

Boomba, why should the onus be on the 'innocent' party to risk a confrontation rather than on those making the noise? Why would you feel that others would ever want to listen to the same music as you unless you had expressly asked them rather than conveniently cop out by assuming their silence equals consent?

We had nightmare neighbours for a while and no way on earth would I have approached them. Largely on the basis that if they were twisted enough to not know, or more likely, not care, that they were wrecking our sanity then they were hardly likely to take well to being approached.

Plus there was our fear of having to declare a dispute when we came to sell.

TinBox · 03/06/2013 00:02

There is a big difference between 'nightmare neighbours' and people casually enjoying a little music.

Playing a bit of music is a perfectly normal, reasonable and everyday activity. Of course people do not have to ask the express permission of everyone around them before they do so - that would be ridiculous.

Boomba · 03/06/2013 00:24

googly i dont even really know how to answer you. It is so foreign a concept to me, that people would routinely object to music in the garden on a sunny day. I cant fathom, that you would expect people to just know that you expected silence all around you, at all times. It is very likely that not everyone within earshot is going to actively enjoy the music, but ...meh...i just dont get it Confused

like I say; my neighbours object to my kids and their antics a fair bit. They tell them off; thats fine, then the kids know that they are upsetting the neighbours and generally stoppit. I dont tell them off because I couldnt forsee, that what ever it is they are doing would be irritating

Boomba · 03/06/2013 00:26

and raising an objection doesnt need to be a confrontation does it? equally, you dont need to have your complaint 'on record' and declare it when you sell the house Confused

I am forever mysified on MN, that people seem so unable to communicate with people around them...Confused

RealAleandOpenFires · 03/06/2013 00:37

For music annoyance, try 12 hours of solid (c)rap/house or someother modern shit and that was dec 31 6pm til 1 jan 6 am this year, outside in their garden.

If it occurs this year, I think I'll make a FB announcement saying something like "free party @ X XXXXXXXXXX XXXXX" & then let the tenents deal with the fall out. Or call the cops saying there is party @ X XXXXXXXXXX XXXXX and I can smell dope being smoked.

Boomba · 03/06/2013 00:43

Really? You object to a NYE party??

Youd get laughed out of town, if you phoned the police with that line on NYE, here

ReturnOfEmeraldGreen · 03/06/2013 00:52

Are you in Scotland, Boomba? Loud music outside 6pm - 6am is excessive in a residential area. Lots of people aren't bothered about NYE, it would show more consideration to take it indoors after the bells or better still go clubbing instead.

TinBox · 03/06/2013 00:55

Complaining about a NYE party is ridiculous - and it would get you nowhere, quite rightly.

You might as well complain about Christmas Carols at Christmas.

I don't know what the pursed-lipped 'no consideration' crowd would realistically settle for. A joyless, silent world?

TinBox · 03/06/2013 00:55

What's Scotland got to do with it anyway?

ReturnOfEmeraldGreen · 03/06/2013 00:59

Just curious, NYE is a much bigger deal up there. I grew up there but don't miss it.

Boomba · 03/06/2013 00:59

Yeah, I don't celebrate NYE and am generally in bed by 10pm but its NYE!!!!! I don't expect everyone to be as miserable as me! It's an exception huh? If it wad every weekend for 12 hours, that's different

No, not in Scotland. Why do you ask?

Maybe, its about where you live. This is generally quite a noisy busy place, lots of street parties, lots of celebrations....

ReturnOfEmeraldGreen · 03/06/2013 01:08

I lived in a busy, built-up inner city neighbourhood for 8 years. Most people were lovely and there was always something interesting going on, but the constant racket of loud car stereos driving by, neighbours holding loud parties unexpectedly and other petty annoyances like passers-by stuffing rubbish in our hedge (unwanted CD? Fork? Miniature JD bottle that sheared into fragments and shot out everywhere when DH hit it with electric hedge trimmer?) eventually got us down and I now really enjoy peace and quiet elsewhere. So I guess I am sympathetic to people who get twitchy about noise because it makes your environment feel much tougher and more unpredictable, and that can really wear you down after a while.

RealAleandOpenFires · 03/06/2013 01:17

Boomba - Damn right I object to a solid 12 hour "rave" in Suburia!.

TinBox · 03/06/2013 17:35

It sounds like it was a one off for New Year. How can it annoy you so much?

A move to suburbia isn't a move into a retirement community. Lots of people live in the suburbs, not all of them are there by choice so it's unfair to assume they have the same values as you.

Leeds15 · 27/07/2013 14:58

I can't believe so many people are having same problem as I am - neighbours thinking they can make as much noise as they like and making it unbearable to sit out on the rare chance I get on a weekend - feel a bit better knowing there are others in same boat - maybe we should all move into the same street ! Unfortunately we live in a society where so many people do not give a damn about those around them.we have 4 kids but I have always taught them to respect those around them and to keep their noise down in and out of the house so as not to annoy the neighbours - if I had the means I would move to another country where hopefully people are more considerate

zatyaballerina · 27/07/2013 16:14

I hate people who are so inconsiderate, selfish and anti social that they inflict their (always terrible, the worse the taste, the louder the music) on everybody. One idiot moves into the community and everybody suffers, that's not fair. There should be special communities for hideously noisy, anti socials to live together where they could make as much noise as they want, as long as they want, at any time they want as far away as possible from civilised people.

People like this will never 'get' it, they think that because they like their noise and it's ok with them if others make an inappropriate level of noise that they're entitled to ruin everybody else's day. They're either too stupid or too selfish to understand how irritating they are to the rest of the world.

I wouldn't tell them directly, if they're selfish enough to inflict it on you then they won't care if they're disturbing or upsetting you, better to complain to people who'll force them to do something about it.

To the minority of idiots on this thread trying to justify their anti social behaviour by accusing everybody else of being 'joyless'; there's nothing joyful about living near people like you, you are the ones who suck the joy out of other peoples day and ruin the reputation of good neighbourhoods, get over yourselves and stop inflicting yourself on others. Nobody wants to hear you.

Whothefuckfarted · 27/07/2013 17:16

Christ, never thought i'd see the day someone was being flamed for having a BBQ or a party in their own garden on a lovely summer afternoon/evening.

As long as it's not going on every weekend I think YABU and should cut them some slack. The fact that they are HA and you are house owners is neither here nor there.

Just makes you sound a bit snobby.

GameSetAndMatch · 27/07/2013 17:33

totes agree with Zata.

AudrinaAdare · 27/07/2013 18:36

I just find it baffling. If you want to listen to music, listen to music. If you want to converse with people, do that. Why try to do both at the same time and have your music so loud that your guests have to sit in the garden shouting over it and causing even more of a nuisance for everyone? Confused

Loud music and stilted conversation in clubs having formed the basis for many a poor choice of man when I was younger

GameSetAndMatch · 27/07/2013 19:09

Tinbox can i ask - genuine question-do you play loud music in your garden yourself or you live in a totally quiet street?

no ones saying people cant liste to their music, but as a another poster said it IS crap for one, and the whole street dont need to be subjected all hours.

Bumblequeen · 27/07/2013 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

ConstantCraving · 27/07/2013 21:29

I dread summer because of the noise. I HATE listening to other people's music when I'm in my garden. I would never play music outside and even indoors keep it low if the windows are open. Surely that's just being considerate? Can't believe the number of people on here who think its fine to sit in the garden with their music blaring for everyone else to 'enjoy'.

AudrinaAdare · 27/07/2013 22:00

I always turn my car music right down (although it is never that loud) when driving through villages and populated areas. Especially when turning into the development I live in which is just off a busy a-road.

I once went outside raving like a madwoman and complained when a van turned up with music blaring and they left it on while fixing whatever needed doing two doors down. To be fair, I had been up with DS all night and he had just gone to sleep at two p.m, but people work shifts / are ill and perhaps don't want to be forced to listen to shite rap while they are in their own homes disturbing nae fucker Angry