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To think that if you invite people to your child's christening then it's good form to actually speak to them when there?

25 replies

Aitchy · 26/05/2013 14:30

And that it's actually pretty bloody rude not to?

To keep it brief, christening at church followed by a reception buffet at a local hotel.

The family got to the hotel first and all sat at one table; the child's parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, plus godparents.

All of us guests were sitting at several other tables. As guests arrived, the parents and family made no attempt to get up to greet guests. We had a gift for the child, and I took it over to the table and just got a 'thank you' and a brief hello and that was all, and I saw that they were the same with other guests.

Then for the whole time the family and godparents sat at this one table, chatting and laughing, and made no attempt to even mingle a small amount and talk to guests, all of whom has brought presents.

It was buy your own drinks, the buffet was tiny and IMO the hosts were quite rude. We went to see them again when we left and said thank you for inviting us and just got a 'bye'. It was like the family and godparents were a unit and didn't want to be disturbed.

AIBU to think this was rude behaviour?

OP posts:

Sparklypinknails · 26/05/2013 14:34

YANBU. Sounds like it was all about the gifts!


thornrose · 26/05/2013 14:34

Gosh there is another thread where OP is feeling left out at a Christening, wouldn't it be funny if it was the same one?

YANBU by the way.


starfishmummy · 26/05/2013 14:35

Yanbu at all! How rude of the "hosts".


Aitchy · 26/05/2013 14:35

That's what I thought too, Sparkly!

We spent £50 on a gift, I wish we hadn't now.

OP posts:

themaltesecat · 26/05/2013 14:35

Weirdos. Not very Christian.


Aitchy · 26/05/2013 14:40

I've just seen that thread, thornrose.

Doesn't sound like the same one as the one I was at provided food and there was a bar.

OP posts:

thornrose · 26/05/2013 14:43

What a shame, you could've found each other and had a laugh!

Both Christenings sound a bit grim.


WeAreEternal · 26/05/2013 14:47

In the OP on the other thread.

Unfortunately it's not the same christening, that would have been funny though.


Aitchy · 26/05/2013 14:50

Are you still at the christening, WeAreEternal? Did/Has it got any better?

OP posts:

WeAreEternal · 26/05/2013 14:53

I am.
I'm say with some people I don't know, and they are basically having a conversation and completely ignoring me.
I feel really silly.

I am hoping someone I know will come back, but I don't know if they will.


EstelleGetty · 26/05/2013 14:53

Doesn't sound like much fun, OP! I struggle a bit with Christenings as big do's at hotels. Been to a couple of those and found them less fun and less personal than occasions where, after the chapel, everyone troops back to the parents'/granny's house. My best friend did that for hers, only about 12 of us there, and we all shared sandwich platters and cake from M&S back at her mum's house.

I can see why it's tempting to have a big party, as it's such a lovely occasion, but I tend to think of Christenings as opportunities for your closest friends and relatives to have a wee shot at the baby and a quiet hour or two together. And I don't think it's down to cultural differences - I've only ever been to Catholic Christenings.


WeAreEternal · 26/05/2013 14:53

How is your christening Aitchy?


Aitchy · 26/05/2013 14:55

We're home now Eternal. It was quite early this morning and the buffet was a lunchtime one.

Sorry to hear things aren't going well at the one you are at. Some people are so ignorant and rude :(

OP posts:

CurlyhairedAssassin · 26/05/2013 14:56

This is precisely why christenings should go back to how they used to be - a small gathering of close family and friends at the child's house after the service. I can't believe people hire out hotel function rooms and the like - the next thing it'll be gift lists for the baby as if it was a wedding.



Aitchy · 26/05/2013 14:58

I agree with you, CurlyhairedAssassin.

The parents are quite competitive types and mix in circles where everyone tries to outdo each other with what they are wearing/venue of the christening/what baby names they've chosen.

It was a posh hotel, but the buffet was really tiny and we had to buy our own drinks. A bit champagne on a lemonade budget

OP posts:

WeAreEternal · 26/05/2013 14:58

I just feel a bit stupid tbh, I spent nearly £40 on four bottles of 'niece' wine and I made a couple of really good dishes, and I just wish I had never come.


Aitchy · 26/05/2013 15:00

I feel the same way, Eternal.

I felt like most guests were just in the way at the christening and not wanted. I think it was just about the gifts

OP posts:

EstelleGetty · 26/05/2013 15:07

My DM can't get her head around it, and don't get her started on hiring halls for kids' birthdays! "The only function hall where I grew up was the Miners' Welfare, and that was only for weddings and funerals! And you invited no more people to a Christening than would fit in the living room." thinks it's all for show and I'm kind of inclined to agree!


WeAreEternal · 26/05/2013 15:10

I think the host invited too many people, there are loads of people here, but not enough plates/cups.

In future I am not going to come to these type of things when I don't l know people.
But in my defence, I did think I'd know three couples, they just all left after an hour.


elQuintoConyo · 26/05/2013 15:19

Have just posted on yours Eternal
Both Christenings sound abysmal imho. The only two I have been to: one in a restaurant, one buffet in the house (same Catholic family). Both small and intimate, lots if laughter, completely unpretentious, the restaurant was an eat-all-you-can jobby and brilliant!
The family are down to earth and no grabby, so that helps.

I hope you and Aitchy are both home by now.


MrsMelons · 26/05/2013 15:36

From the title I thought I was going to say YABU as often the hosts are really busy trying to 'host' and get round to everyone so I think guests should make the effort to go and talk to them as it can be really different when there are a lot of people - BUT you did try to talk to them!

I have never ever been to a party/wedding/christening with drinks provided (I clearly mix in the wrong circles) but I can never understand when people don't cater for enough people or don't bother at all (I have been to some evening weddings like that recently)

Both christenings sound awful, the hosts were rude by staying on their 'own' table and I just can't believe how ridiculous some people are!


nenevomito · 26/05/2013 15:38

That's very, very rude. Take back the present and fuck 'em rude!


ZZZenagain · 26/05/2013 15:41

the hosts are being rude but so are the people at your table. You are supposed to all make an effort to speak to the people to your left and to your right. Basic politeness, isn't it? The hosts should make a point of milling around and chatting to different groups.


Aitchy · 26/05/2013 15:42

We did chat to people at our table ZZZ, even though we didn't really know them. Was just a bit miffed at how rude the hosts were

OP posts:

ZZZenagain · 26/05/2013 15:44

joh sorry maybe it was the other christening thread where the guests at her table were not speaking to OP. Am getting muddled.

Yes, you are right the hosts should make a point of moving around and chatting to people, making them feel welcome. At least someone in the family should do it.

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