AIBU to have told my 5 yr old off for this?

[dribbleface]

DS1 (almost 5) is being a real handful at the moment, rude, not listening and telling lies about lots of silly things.

He spent the day at his Grandparents, they dropped him home. When he came in he started playing up, not listening etc. DS2 was screaming having a typical 2's tantrum, I was cooking risotto for the first time (turned out well considering).

My mum said 'DS1 said he didn't need suncream on as you put it on before you came', 'is that true DS1' i asked? he started laughing 'no, it was a lie'. So i told him off, he still laughed, I pointed out that he wouldn't find it so funny if he had got sunburnt because of his lie would he. Perhaps i was a little stronger than normal but he is pushing my button lately. Anyhow, mum and dad leave, mum seems put out. I called shortly after they left to make sure she knew i was not upset with her about no suncream (not actually been that sunny today) but was cross with DS1 for lying (again).

Got told off! She didn't like my attitude apparently and there was no need to tell DS1 off, etc etc.

So was unreasonable to tell him off for this? My mum makes excuses for him behaviour all the time. (good job i saved the telling off for being rude to my mum until after she went........she gave him £1 and he said 'oh i wanted £5! - she told me this he didn't do it in front of me)

dry I told him that's what my nanny would have done! You don't sound pompous, I needed a bit of reassurance. Hair washing accompliced, now just getting DS2 to sleep (think rapid return but in a cot), on the plus side have got him to sleep through for almost a week.

Parents just called, but said I would call back once kids are in bed/asleep. Not going to get into a big discussion, will make the point that I will parent how I see fit and leave it there.

Thanks all.

and spoke to my parents and cleared the air, said that they may not agree with my parenting but I doubt their parents always agreed with theirs either.

YANBU I would make sure your mum understands that lying is not on, and what's more he told a lie that could have got him seriously burnt. Her attitude would really annoy me. My (ex) mil can be like this (not backing me up if dd is rude and I call her up on it) It always makes the situation ten times more difficult to handle, with dd getting mixed messages about what is and isn't acceptable.

Just thinking - if this behaviour change is a recent thing, maybe your DM felt it was her fault in some way that he'd acted up and/or lied? Maybe the 'oh, don't tell him off' was a defensive reaction rather than an undermining one?

Glad it's sorted anyway.

Firstvix you may be right, she does feel that as plays up after being at hers, but more likely she felt bad that she got him in trouble