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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

To complain politely about this sonographer?

58 replies

Oscalito · 25/05/2013 07:10

Went for a 20 week scan yesterday. The sonographer asked me to remove everything apart from my bra and put on a gown.

When I lay down on the table she then pulled up my gown, said 'oh dear' (because I was completely naked) and then went oh, I'll get you a sheet to cover you.

I left some feedback saying that I thought if possible I prefer to remain covered and as she'd asked me to undress completely surely she would remember that I was naked and not just pull my gown up.

In the grand scheme of things I know it's not at all important but it was awkward and avoidable and she didn't need to see me naked, it was just a scan.

And I remember having a baby last time and the midwife who'd seen everything had the respect to look away as I staggered off to to the shower wrapped in a sheet.

I think patient dignity is important and I don't like this idea that you 'leave your dignity at the door' when you have a baby, and everyone has the right to just manhandle your bits and see everything.

I'm in Australia now and the attitude here seems a bit more old-fashioned towards pregnant women i.e. we're the doctor, you're the patient, put up and shut up. I do miss the NHS.

OP posts:

hopkinette · 25/05/2013 12:54

"Take everything off" means "take everything off" to me too. Because, you know, that's what those words mean. If she meant "take off your top and cardigan," I don't know, perhaps she could have said "take off your top and cardigan"? She sounds like a dick to me.

IfIonlyhadsomesleep · 25/05/2013 13:24

I think it's unfair to suggest the op should have questioned the sonographer or assumed she meant top half only. The onus is on the hcp to explain clearly not the patient, who is already potentially feeling uncomfortable or nervous in an unfamiliar situation, to know what is meant.

HeathRobinson · 25/05/2013 13:30

diddl - yes indeed! In my defence, I was thinking it was odd, but it was an x-ray, maybe that's what you did!

I had a mammogram more recently, lovely staff, very exact wording (perhaps it's in my file!)

Oscalito - I think it's one of those things where you're under the 'control' of medical people, so you do what they say, even if you're a bit about it.

RevoltingPeasant · 25/05/2013 13:53

OP I really feel for you.

A couple of years back, I had to see a consultant urologist prior to kidney surgery. He took a phonecall in the middle of the consultation and sort of covered the mouthpiece and said to me 'Just go through there and get undressed, I'll be through to examine you in a sec'.

So I went through and stripped to bra and panties. I didn't really know what an examination of kidneys and urinary system might involve. There was no gown or blanket which I thought was odd so I just sort of sat there feeling a bit weird.

He came through a second later, also said 'Oh dear' and ran out of the room, hollering 'I need a female chaperone'.

I think 'Oh dear' may be HCP code for 'fuckfuckfuck, unnecessarily nude patient'

Ginderella · 25/05/2013 14:08

I do not understand why a woman just can't say no. If you are unhappy taking your clothes off for any medical examination - refuse. If you do not want an internal ultrasound - refuse. Any exams or procedures that are carried out without your consent is assault. Your body - your choice.

coffeeinbed · 25/05/2013 14:17

She should have clarified.

take everything off is everything off.
take everything off your top half is different.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 25/05/2013 14:17

I had similar when being prepped for an elective section...midwife asked me to strip totally, gave me a gown, had begun examining me when consultant entered and she did this whole "Ooh dear we'd better cover THAT up" thing when SHE had asked me to strip and she made it look like I was somehow rude!

Original poster

Oscalito · 25/05/2013 14:24

OK I feel better now. She was generally a bit rude and offish, just didn't have any caring-profession skills warmth or seem to enjoy what she was doing at all. She also said the foetus was being 'awkward' by not being in the right position which irrationally annoyed me.

revoltingpeasant sorry but that is hilarious! I would have undressed too.

Ginderella I was OK about taking my clothes off as I put a gown on so was covered. It was when she yanked it up without giving me a chance to arrange the blanket underneath that it all got a bit unnecessarily embarrassing.

Anyway at least I'll never see her again.

OP posts:

FadedSapphire · 25/05/2013 14:30

I think she should have been clearer. If she was 'rude and offish' perhaps a mild complaint is in order with some suggestions on how she could improve her bedside manner.

Floggingmolly · 25/05/2013 14:37

You misunderstood. No wonder she was surprised when she yanked your gown off!

diddl · 25/05/2013 14:58

Maybe she thought that she had given clear instructions.

There's no reason that a patient can't ask for clarification!

HeathRobinson · 25/05/2013 15:01

I think some medical people are so brisk that they put you off asking stuff, or indeed leave the room so you can't ask.

A simple notice in the undressing area would make everything clear.

RevoltingPeasant · 25/05/2013 15:04

OP I know - at the time I was mortified, but looking back, the expression on his face was absolutely priceless. Poor man. That'll larn him to take phone calls during consultations.

I do hate when HCPs make an issue out of you being naked, though. I always am polite, but I'm secretly thinking 'ffs, I'm not doing this for shits and giggles, and actually, your annoying little "jokes" don't make it easier'.

WMittens · 25/05/2013 15:08

This reminds me of a sketch from Only Fools and Horses.

WMittens · 25/05/2013 15:08

*scene, not sketch

TattyDevine · 25/05/2013 15:09

If the OP misunderstood, unless she was painfully specific like saying "I need you to take everything but your bra off because I would like the opportunity, with your consent, to do an internal scan, should that be necessary" then it was STILL the HCP's fault.

YANBU.

Original poster

Oscalito · 25/05/2013 15:09

Exactly revoltingpeasant it's generally awkward, I'd prefer it was all done in respectful silence and afterwards I'd just like to avoid eye contact, leave and pretend it never happened. No jokes, no banter!

OP posts:

diddl · 25/05/2013 15:12

OP-did she make a fuss, or just cover you up?

Did she stay in the room & then do the scan immediately?

If it's a clinic, for example there might be several patients all getting ready who are the called in one at a time.

So it wouldn't necessarily be remembered that someone was "naked"-especially if she didn't think that that was what she had said!

TattyDevine · 25/05/2013 15:13

She is still wrong. Was just thinking about what I would do in this situation. As soon as I noticed you were not covered, I would have said "sorry blanket fail, wasn't looking" or something to reassure you it wasn't your fault and have covered you. I would then make a file note in advance had you complained, saying there was a breakdown in communication that I would try and avoid in the future but that I smoothed things over as best I could.

Original poster

Oscalito · 25/05/2013 15:13

Thanks tattydevine.

OP posts:

MNHQ

OliviaMMumsnet · 25/05/2013 15:13

When I was in labour with DS1 I was taken into a room and the mw said 'right well I'll be back to examine you in a minute."
So I stripped bottom half thinking shed need to know how many cms I was.
She came back and was a bit "oh dear. That's a bit previous."

At which point my waters went.
My trousers were dry though

TattyDevine · 25/05/2013 15:14

Seriously. You are not stupid in any way shape or form.

I am Australian. Doesn't really make a difference but if anyone was biased it should be me but I still see your point of view.

She's a bit like me thinks

Original poster

Oscalito · 25/05/2013 15:16

diddl she didn't make much of a fuss, just said, oh dear, I'll get a sheet. There was no one else there, it's a private place (no public hospital scanning here) and I was her only patient. She was a bit vague generally though, disappeared for 15 minutes at the end then came back and decided to be really friendly all of a sudden and show me the baby when I'd been there for an hour with 1.5 litres of water in my bladder and just really wanted the loo (I told her as much).

OP posts:

TattyDevine · 25/05/2013 15:16

Lol @ Olivia

TattyDevine · 25/05/2013 15:16

You then said "see, I knew that was going to happen" didn't you

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