To yell at someone elses child if they hit mine with a toy

[peanutbuttersarnies]

Feeling a bit guilty about yelling. I can't seem to stop myself and I am normally so quiet!
I should probably learn to bite my Tongue and usher my child away?
They are both 3.

Don't yell, just calmly reprimand them.

Or some other mum will bash you with a toy!

Why yell? Kids do hit, they need to be told it's not OK and given consequences. Yelling won't really help. If you yelled at mine, who has been known to hit, you would make her stressed and confused and she would hit more. Time out, removal of toy and ultimately removal of my child from the environment works. Yelling doesn't.

Yes I know I shouldn't have

Yep but you know you are.

Why do you think you did?

Yes I would say the yelling was OTT.

You seem to know what to do next time, it does happen with young DC's and so long as it not too regular best to ignore it

My friend yelled at my son (aged 3) as he used her 18 month old son as a step. I was quite surprised when she shouted so loud but then I can see why - so I didn't mind.

Ideally don't yell, but I think our protection mechanism can go into overdrive sometimes and we forget. Don't fret too much.

Thanks. It's happened before - the hitting. And I just couldn't bite my Tongue. I must next time though. Have learnt lesson.

Would you be happy for the other child's mum to constantly yell at your child, if they were the one doing the hitting?

YABU - leave the discipline to the person responsible for the child and if they aren't doing anything then reconsider who you spend time with.

A loud firm voice is fine, uncontrolled yelling is not-then you're the same as the child.
Don't bite your tongue, but make sure you've a firm response prepared in advance.
Did the other parent say anything?

You don't have to bite your tongue, just use your words.

My friends and I will tell each others children not to hit, bite, push or whatever. We tell our own and each others when we see it. Just no yelling.

It probably was more of a loud firm voice. I just regretted saying anything. The other parent (a dad) didn't see it happen.

I would always say "no thank you, we don't hit" or something, but I don't yell at my own child so I wouldn't yell at anyone elses unless it was life or death.

A loud, firm voice is fine. If you're worried, just say to the other parent, "are we fine with telling the kids 'no hitting' if we see it? I don't mind you telling my child."

I would say 'Hey, do not hit X , that's a horrible thing to do'. I would not shout but the 'Hey' bit would be said with a loud voice. I would also remove the object and alert the other parent to their child's behaviour.

You don't need to worry at all, OP. Of course you should tell a child to stop hitting. As long as you did not yell or scream!

Thanks. I can't quite remember now. I think it was a loud firm voice. It's so unlike me to raise my voice I feel a bit mortified.

I have been known to yell "Oi, no hitting!" at a child who was repeatedly hitting my child and ignoring her tears and requests to "stop it". You don't want me yelling at your child, you supervise your child.

Hopefully the other parent may have learned that lesson in your instance peanut.

Did anyone actually mind, OP? If your child, the other child and the dad didn't care, why are you agonising about it?

I hate being centre of attention. And now feel everyone in the room saw it. Not sure if they did or not.

Even if they did see it, so what? Now, you would have looked bad if you had sat there doing nothing whilst your child got hit.

I think I could have handled it better. Thanks for the tips guys.

Honestly, chill out. Have a

don't dwell on it, OP, just try to be calmly firm next time without needing to put emotion into it. Think how you would want someone to reprimand your child if yours was the hitter. It's a skill to learn.

Don't yell but you can firmly raise your voice. Yanbu.