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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To growl at anyone who suggests a woo-woo cure for my incurable condition?

188 replies

crashdoll · 24/05/2013 11:07

I'm not again complimentary therapies. I think they play a role alongside conventional medicine but I am sick to the back teeth of people who suggest ridiculous cures for my Rheumatoid Arthritis and another rare autoimmune condition. It's severe - I have joint damage, I am disabled by it and I need strong drugs to get it under control so I can have some sort of life. It may go into remission, it can be controlled but it's unlikely to be cured at this point in time.

I have no problem with people who say "my auntie has this and recommends ice packs and gentle swimming once a week". But I am getting fed up of "20 minutes of standing naked in the rain and you'll be cured".

I've done the nodding and smiling crap but it's not working. I don't want to be rude or swear because I know people are genuinely trying to help but I'm not a fan of woo 'treatments' and people just are not getting the message. AIBU to bare my teeth and growl a bit?

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 24/05/2013 12:08

YY, I agree with eldritch and fubbsy. I think that is exactly what some people do. Or they just want to pat themselves on the back that they know all about illness, which is a bit morbid IMO.

kelda · 24/05/2013 12:09

YANBU.

Agree with the last poster, loads of people tried to give me different creams for my ds's eczema, as though he is some sort of guinea pig to try them all out on.

I stuck with what the doctor gave him, and Aveeno, because mumsnet recommended Aveeno, and I listen to mumsent (sometimes). Oh and the Aveeno didn't work but the stuff from the doctor did.

ParsingFancy · 24/05/2013 12:10

Yep, Just World Syndrome bites again.

You're doing it wrong, or it wouldn't be happening.

kelda · 24/05/2013 12:10

and what really annoyed me is when people got offended when I politely declined their offers of out of date half used creams.

tiggytape · 24/05/2013 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

princessnumber2 · 24/05/2013 12:16

YANBU.

The phrase 'have you tried (insert woo bollocks)?' should never be used unless someone has said, 'I've got a crippling medical condition and have decided to turn my back on medicine in favour of woo bollocks. Can you recommend a made up nonsense 'cure'?'

Funnily enough that's not how conversations have tended to happen in my experience...

TolliverGroat · 24/05/2013 12:17

20 minutes of standing naked in the rain only works if you post the photos on MN afterwards.

Jojobump1986 · 24/05/2013 12:21

DH's cousin's FIL has his own 'pharmacy' shop. I can ask him to put together a personalised blend of herbs for you if you like. He'll realign your whatsits & reduce any swelling while balancing out your doodahs & cleansing your blood. He's done research on cleansing blood so he's a proper professional, dontcha know?! Wink

I've only met him once & I wore a lot of make up to hide my rosacea & was v careful to avoid mentioning my depression & anxiety!

Pigsmummy · 24/05/2013 12:22

I think that people just can't help helping tbh. (so I am not going to).

Trill · 24/05/2013 12:26

Claim that you tried it and invent a weird side effect.

Anything that is capable of having a positive effect is also capable of having side effects.

I tried that once but then my nose hairs grew right down to my chin

moisturiser · 24/05/2013 12:28

It is incredibly annoying, I definitely think there's something about people which means they find it almost impossible to accept that sometimes there's very little to be done.

What I find worse, tbh, is the people who say 'if you just think positively, you'll be fine, the body's atoms can't be in pain if you're happy'. Anything which attributes your lack of getting better to you. I've had that a lot 'oh I used to get terrible pain and then I decided one day I wasn't going to have it any longer and it had to go away.' Really? You don't think if that was all it took I'd be ok by now?

StillSeekingSpike · 24/05/2013 12:29

UANBU. I also have a rare autoimmune condition- and was very happy to be told that it was 'probably due to conventional medication'.

Kormachameleon · 24/05/2013 12:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GladbagsGold · 24/05/2013 12:33

Have you tried putting vicks on your feet whilst eating naice ham?

AMumInScotland · 24/05/2013 12:33

Feel free to bare your teeth and growl at them. They think you're ^not trying hard enough^ - that everything can be cured if you just put the effort in. Just like everyone can be famous, if they just try hard enough to be "discovered". It doesn't need for anything fundamental to be changed, like the fact that you actually have a debilitating condition, or they can't carry a tune in a bucket.

All it takes is effort and self-belief, dontchaknow?

EldritchCleavage · 24/05/2013 12:34

I agree, moisturiser.

Like my bloody SIL insisting on doing reiki over her dying mother. Although in SIL's case, I suspect not even a parent dying could deflect her from her mission to be centre of attention at all times.

FanjoPaterson · 24/05/2013 12:47

op, really. YABU.

What you need is a sexy Scots lad in a kilt (or other preferred accented man in national dress/well tailored suit if you are Scottish yourself) to wake you up in the morning with a cup of tea and a biscuit.

Also, swallow a huntsman spider dipped in butter. You'll be right.

Sunnywithshowers · 24/05/2013 12:49

YANBU, not even the tiniest bit U.

ShadeofViolet · 24/05/2013 12:57

YANBU.

The world and his wife had a cure for DS's horrid eczema. Oats in the bath, milk in the bath, aloe vera capules, olive oil, coconut oil, palm oil. Mainly ffod based products actually Grin

VisualiseAHorse · 24/05/2013 12:58

YANBU.

The HV's advice for my PND and psychotic episodes (with a bit of PTSD thrown in), was 'have you tried going to toddler groups?'

Why didn't I think of that? Surely, all my nutter problems will be solved by sitting in a room full of screaming children?

EskSmith · 24/05/2013 13:00

I'm with Alistair hammer idea, fabulous :) I lived with chronic pain for 2 years, not a day goes by when I'm not grateful it is in remission.

Op [head tilt] have you tried resting, or a scented candle?

ButternutSquish · 24/05/2013 13:05

Tell me about it! I have a condition called lipo-lymphedema which to most people, I just look fat. Fair enough, I get that, but actually it's a genetic condition that only affects women. It's a sort of mutant fat cell that once created can never be dieted away...yes, really! It shows mostly in the legs and puts pressure on the lymphatic system which means you then have fluid retaining in your legs as well as the extra non removable fat.

This is a typical conversation, usually with an old lady at a bus stop

"yes really, it is a real disorder, diagnosed by the no.1 Professor in the UK. Yes, I have lost weight and it looks alot better, thank you, but no, I still have lipo-lymphedema, it un-curable. Yes, I have dieted, yes, I already go to the gym 3 times a week, yes it is frustrating because I can't wear boots or wellies, yes, I have tried X, Y & Z supplements, yes, I have gone on crazy crash diets...(did you not hear me, it's genetic). Yes, alot of people these days are fat, no, I don't need a gastric band......" and so it goes on.

What I really want to say it...."fuck off, leave me alone you old biddy. You have no idea what it feels like to have this condition where everyone just assumes you're fat and you stuff your face all day, where in reality you have to watch your weight because putting on fat cells means putting on rogue cells which you'll never get rid of. And you smell of wee!"

I'm having private surgery in Germany to remove the the excess fat in November. It's costing £4500. That's how much I hate it and it's the only way to deal with it permanently

ButternutSquish · 24/05/2013 13:06

Oh yes, and let's not forget the ache & pain & the poor circulation that goes with it!

Sorry for the rant...

projectbabyweight · 24/05/2013 13:07

I had this with my crippling insomnia. Mil (bless her) bought me a lavender eye mask then asked if I was sleeping better.

The only thing that's helped has been a book by a women who had it for 15 years, so knows what she's talking about.

CMOTDibbler · 24/05/2013 13:07

I lost the use of my l arm in an accident. People ask me if I've tried physio Hmm only 5 hours a day for 18 months y'know. I do find acupuncture helpful for pain relief though, and it helps relax the tight muscles elsewhere.

Though a random bloke at an airport told me I should 'just get it cut off', which wasn't helpful