To not take up the exercise referral from the Dr because i have to pay

[LEMisdisappointed]

I am suffering from severe anxiety at the moment, and depression. My doctor has asked if i exercise, which i havent been doing so much at the moment because - this might sound stupid, if i don't have a reason to be doing something, i panic. So i used to go on really long bike rides and really enjoy this but now am worried i will find myself somewhere with no-where really to "go" and have a panic attack. The same for walking and running - but also i had a problem with running as it hurt my hip, which is why i took up the cycling.

The reason my Dr suggested the referral was because i explained this to her and she said that maybe a formalised exercise plan would help and said about the referral scheme. I thought this sounded brilliant and was excited about it.

Now i have received the literature and it turns out it is not free - i dont know why i thought it was and i simply cannot afford it, i just can't. I dont work (this is partly due to my anxiety and in fact my dr has told me its too soon to return) and we are broke, especially just now as DP has just taken on a new job which means he wont be paid for a month which is going to put us behind with everything. Once it settles it will be better but anyway, we are struggling. So this would mean that for me to exercise three times a week at the gym/swimming pool it would probably cost me £20 a week, i just don't have the money :(

I feel really disappointed, of course i realise that these things can't be free and im not cross, just disappointed. I feel that maybe i should just make my own training plan up and get my bike out of the shed. I am going to cycle to my counselling session on friday - i cant afford the bus fair but its a lovely cycle through the woods (ten miles) so thats a start.

I feel like a spoilt brat actually - that something has been made available to me and i am not going to take it up.

I have to pay for my counselling £5 a week on a consession, i haven't even told my DP yet - he thinks its free and i have been using my money from when i was working to pay for things but now i have run out, i have no money at all. I have a real issue about asking him for money (it is totally me, not him, he would give me his last penny) for things, i even tried to use my work money for shopping etc, to contribute.

I might ring them anyway, see if they are willing to come up wiht some sort of cycling/running (if my hip doesn't play up) routine - i really wanted to try swimming but to be honest, i can't swim very well and end up going up and down the pool breast stroke which i could do all day long anyway and not get anywere.

I need to loose weight too but i have never really been bothered about my weight, i wish i was, then i would have a goal, if that makes sense.

Arse - i dont know why i am writing this, i just feel disappointed

There can be long waiting lists for counselling on the NHS and so I think some GPs refer to charities who do have to charge something for their services otherwise they would be running at a loss.

Tbh £5 per session is already at the low end of a sliding scale of sessional fees for a counselling charity. So it may be that they cannot reduce your session fees by much or at all...

You say though that your DH has just gotten himself a better paid job. Is it possible for him to support you financially in continuing the counselling?

This might seem a bit random but could you help someone blind/partially sighted to run/cycle?

www.actionforblindpeople.org.uk/our-services/children-young-people-and-families/children-and-families/join-the-action-volunteer-with-actionnaires/

I just called them and they are going to ring me back - their answer machine message sounded like there was some non gym based stuff to do (dont feel ready for the gym yet - im a bit of a loner)

LEM - I think that is why I was limited to just 8 sessions of counselling (due to demand for the service) - could have really done with a lot more. I was not offered the option to pay to continue with counselling, it was "you have had all 8 sessions, bye!" That's why I was confused.
I have been referred for CBT now, which I hope will help, but I think more counselling would have helped too in my case.
Good Luck with it all x

Onward - i should be ok for the counselling, just can't afford the exercise on top of it, but i shall see what happens. I have to beat this - If i can't get what i need from this, i shall come back here and have a look at some of the brilliant ideas suggested.

Gladbags - thats quite a good idea, but if i am totally honest, it would almost be like the blind leading the blind just now - i would be too anxious :(

could you joina walking group?
locally to me they have a mum and baby one and just normal ones, some for lighter exercising, some more challenging. You would not be on your own then.

where do you live? If you lived by me I would be your walking partner, I could do with one really. I bet loads of women could

Something like the NHS Couch to 5k program would give you a 'thing' to do each day - a goal that might make you feel a little less anxious maybe? Map my run would help you to keep an eye on how far you've been.

Do you have a Sweatshop near you? Most branches do free beginners running sessions and the more often you go, the more rewards you get. So after your first run, they give you a water bottle, after 5 runs you get a club t-shirt etc. Would that help? It's a social run rather than a training program but it's all pre-set routes with a tail runner to make sure no-one gets left behind so has a level of planning and progression which you might find comforting.

Our local David Lloyd gym also has a running club that's just £5 a year to join who do a similar sort of thing. Anything like that near you?

Oh LEM, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have panic disorder and agoraphobia and it's indescribably awful. I completely understand where you're coming from.

Could you find someone to go running or cycling with you? Do you have a "safe person" who you feel less anxious with? Maybe someone on here lives nearby? (I'm in Wales). I'm part of a dance group these days. Like you, I had trouble continuing running because of joint problems. Anyway, I got a friend I'm ok with to come to the first few dance sessions with me and after a few weeks I felt comfortable enough to go it alone.

Good luck whatever you decide to do!

You say you walk a lot which is fantastic. The trick for walking is you have to increase your speed so timing yourself is really important and then gradually improve that time. Once you get going you can end up walking really quite fast and burning well. When I started I walked at the average of most people of 3miles per hour now I walk at 5.5miles per and have lost 1 stone and I'm considerably fitter.

I have no idea about counselling or exercise referrals, but I do enjoy cycling and have lost a fair bit of weight since committing myself (over a stone since Christmas). What helped me most was to plan a route before I leave the house - that way you hopefully won't find yourself in a panic, because you know where you're going. I rode a ten-mile loop most days, and am adding other loops on to it now to increase my mileage - DH and I went for a 40-mile ride on Saturday, which was lovely. If you sign up to Strava you can compare your rides to others who cycle in your area - it's a good way of challenging yourself to improve over set sections and your usual routes. And there's always the pub sprint challenge too - whenever you see a pub, sprint flat out until you reach it: it's a much more fun way of doing interval training!

Good luck :)

I have no advice about your exercise issue, but I just wanted to say that your reasons for not going on a bike ride are not silly. I have severe anxiety, so much so that I am agoraphobic. I really should exercise (5'2 and a size 18), but the feelings you get when you exercise (shortness of breath, wobbly legs after etc) make me panic because they mirror some of my anxiety sensations!! The sensible side of my head tells me this is normal, but the (louder) anxious voice says there is a problem.

Really going to try and get over that soon (after I've had my baby), but just wanted you to know you are not on your own feeling like that!!

It sounds to me like you do a reasonable amount of exercise already. Just a few thoughts though

• get an exercise DVD from a charity shop (about a quid usually) and use it three times a week. You will be at home and hopefully feel safer.
• your Dr obviously thinks your weight is an issue, so start making small changes to your diet (don't 'go on a diet') to help get rid of some of it. Could be as simple as cutting down from two sugars in tea to one (then none), drinking diet cola instead of the usual stuff, having oven baked potato wedges instead of chips, grilling instead of frying etc. Have a goal of losing x inches from your hips and waist by the end of June, for example. Small changes that will put you back in control may be helpful.

All the best for your continuing recovery.

You could set yourself a goal like biking the whole length of the country in 1 year - and calculate the distance using maymyrun? Break it down into months, so you've got smaller goals?

I was given some free exercise sessions on the NHS but once they finished I would have had to go the local pool/gym. Even with the concession, a gym season ticket (the cheapest way) was going to cost me £2-300 and as I don't swim (hate water) I would have been spending that for just the exercise bikes a few times a week.

So I did the sums, scrabbled together some money and bought an exercise bike on sale from Amazon. 5-10 Kms five times a week (plus some stretching exercises afterwards) and I feel a lot better. My back and hips are less painful as well.

There might be bikes for sale fairly cheaply on eg Gumtree or ebay (from people who thought they would get fit after Xmas and then gave up.) Just a thought that you might consider.

Have just been for a walk with my dogs 1.5 hours, brief walk (plus stopping to separate dog fight thankfully the man just laughed - my dog is a bastard) Feel better for that - Will wait and see what is on offer. I am really not sure about using a gym anyway, just feels kind of pointless. I have an exercise machine, maybe will start using that.

I don't have a problem with my weight (im a big girl!) myself, but maybe if i set losing some weight as a goal it might give me something to work towards. Will not go on a diet, but maybe modify some of my diet, on the whole it is quite healthy, i actually don't eat that much .

Thankyou for all your kind words, i was expecting to get flammed