Aaaggghhhh

[louisawhitegenius]

Oh my god!! I came home from work today and my DH had decided to cut my DD's hair and it looks so awful that I burst in to tears as soon as I saw her 😢 I am so fucking angry!!! What the fuck was he thinking??? I am now in the bath trying to calm down and not to wrap my hands round his neck...

Not forgiving just trying to be objective! This one is gonna stick with me for a while I think...

Why does the dummy at night bother him? Seems a bit ott to me. They do grow out of it eventually and hardly seems several nights of wailings worth it :(

I feel really sorry for you re the hair cut. I'd be mortified too.

We have been speaking about weaning her off the dummy at night (she only has at night and naps) but he just decided he would do it with no warning told her no dummy. So instead of me bickering with him I said fine, knock yourself out! After she finally went to sleep the 1st night I asked if it was really necessary and he said because he was off this week he would take a hit on the crying/upset etc... Not even thinking that me having to listen to her sob was awful. He has ended up having to sing/soothe her for well over an hour every night (used to put her to bed with by fuss and she was asleep within 10 mins and happy as could be

Pmsl at cadfael sorry!

If it is the tiniest consolation, last year when my dd2 was 7 she gave herself this hairdo one Friday morning before school...

www.google.co.uk/search?q=kenny+powers&client=safari&hl=en-gb&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=yfWbUdS6DMjy4QTjmIGQBA&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1024&bih=672#biv=i%7C10%3Bd%7C2ymT-tVIe0vn0M%3A

She is only two! There are far gentler ways of stopping dummy use than making her go cold turkey! She doesn't need to go through this distress.

Dummy fairy bringing her a gift. Giving her dummies to other babies (in return for a gift!) Reading her the Last Noo Noo by Jill Murphy...
Let her get used to the idea!

And no cutting off her hair!

What is the matter with your husband?

I'd have killed him...

Does nobody else have sympathy for the DH (despite his clearly cack-handed attempt to cut hair)?

Harsh! He probably feels really bad.

It's just hair

Yes but it's hacked off, horrible hair!

Why did he do it?!

I have no sympathy, he sounds like a thoughtless, stupid dickhead .

I daren't think how angry I would be if I were you. I just can't understand what would possess someone to think this was a good idea. And tbh OP I don't think you should be letting him "knock himself out" on the dummy thing because he sounds clueless and is causing unnecessary distress to your two year old.

I'd actually be quite worried about what he might do next. He sounds impulsive and as though he doesn't think of consequences.

Yabu. You are overreacting. It will grow back.

If you wanted to cut her hair would you wait until your dh was home and ask his permission? He probably thought he was saving you a job, as you'd talked about having it cut. YABU

As for the dummy, even if he's been cack-handed, he's the one dealing with the result, so I don't see the big deal there either.

@beansmum it's not about asking permission, I just would not have done something like that without discussing it with him. The convo we had about it was idle chit chat that he didnt even really take much interest at the time. If he had said to me yeah let's cut it off or no I don't think you should I probably would have gone with whatver. It is just the shock of him doing it and it looking so shit that has pissed me off.

With regards to the dummy again he is taking the hit but it could have been a little easier with a bit of prep instead of on a night where she was over tired already, taking something away from her that she has been used to for most of the 2 years she's been on this planet. Not about asking permission on either issue, just more communication and thoughtfulness required.

You are all right, it will grow back in time, I am just upset right this minute

He is impulsive and sometimes that is great but sometimes it is just shocking and not in a good way

Get her to a hairdresser. Even if you think it looks dreadful, they will be able to make it look reasonable while it grows back. I speak from experience - 5 year old found some scissors (got on a chair to rummage about on top of kitchen cupboards ) and proceeded to chop his brother's hair off. It all happened while I was hanging out washing and I'd left them happily playing with their Brio trainset.

I know it's cold comfort, but I keep my four year old daughter's hair in a very short cut deliberately, and always have, and can I tell you some good things about it?

a) Easy upkeep. Basically none. At the end of a hard day's playing, she looks only marginally scruffier than at the start. One of her best friends has very long, straight hair, turns up to kindergarten looking angelic every morning, but is all rats' tails by lunchtime.
b) the nape of her neck is exposed. Oh, the heartbreaking beauty of a small child's nape. Honestly, this is one of the things that makes me do it.
c) You can see the beauty of her whole face better, actually
d) she stands out. Very useful in the playground, amongst all the long-haired girls.

The other thing is, while 'growing back in thicker' is a myth, I bet the ends of your DD's hair were very fine? If you get a good hairdresser to tidy this lot up, in a cut that's designed to grow back in, then the ends will be thicker and blunter than they used to be, and she'll look even more gorgeous than before.

Thanks tortoise, am starting to calm down but still feel really sad. I had to be at work at 6 this morn so haven't seen her. Hoping not to break down again when I see her this afternoon

I feel your pain my ex cut our son's hair when he was just 1. He had the most beautiful chin length curls. Ex got fed up with him being mistaken for a girl so one day when I was out he shaved it all off!!!! Number 2 all over. I cried too. Now no matter how long his hair gets its poker straight, the curls have gone for good.