AIBU to just return gifts and say nothing?

[chaosisawayoflife]

Yes, another mil thread. Dd1's b'day tomorrow. Mil has just given us a bag of presents and some gift receipts. One of the gifts is a Barbie. Fine, dd1 loves Barbie. All she wanted from father Christmas was a Barbie so we got her one, and a wardrobe of Barbie clothes. In the 2 months after Xmas mil got dd a further 7 barbies from charity shops and gave her 1 or 2 every time she saw her. All fine, lovely, don't have a problem with cs, did have a slight problem with the fact that her main present from fc was devalued by getting another one every week since, but fine, whatever. After the 8th Barbie I mentioned to mil that she probably had enough now and didn't need any more. I thought she'd listened, until now. Never mind.
The rest of the gifts are clothes. Again, fine, lovely, every child need clothes. But I know these are going to be emblazoned with hello Kitty, Disney princesses, Minnie mouse etc etc. I refuse to dress my girls in character clothes, call me a snob, whatever, I don't care, I hate them. She has in the past regularly bought these clothes and I will use t-shirts as pjs but that's it. I'm sure she must have realised by now that I don't dress them in these clothes, but she keeps on buying them. I don't want to upset her (she's a big, forceful character) so wibu to discreetly return them after dd has opened them?

This is just like my MIL, what is it with the cheap dolls and the character t-shirts, even the ear-piercing requests! I would keep the Barbies, let her play with them in the bath/garden, they won't stay pristine anyway so lots are fun, then I would inspect the clothes to see just how bad they are- anything nylon, with the 'porn' fairies on, or really inappropriate for a small child I just remove myself and send to charity/textile recycling, anything half way decent, like nice top with Hello Kitty on I would let her wear, or use as pjs or for 'house clothes' if you really feel that strongly (I don't).

At least they haven't sneaked off and got them pierced, my MIL kept saying 'let me take her, let me take her'- I did get my husband involved on that one as I really feared she might take action into her own hands as in her country it is very normal for little girls to have pierced ears as babies.

Kids love character clothes.

YAbu because of that.

There's time enough for them to be "tasteful" when they are older. Just wait till you have a teen who refuses to wear a t shirt unless it has a band on it...

You will be screaming to get peppy pig back!

I don't mind character clothes TBH; but I HATE slogan tshirts.

YABU to take back a 5yo's presents from her GRANDMOTHER by "distracting her" so she doesn't notice!???!Seriously?!!
And it's mean to disallow character clothes from a 5yo if she wants to wear them

Your mil is probably buying what she'd have bought her daughter or what she did get her daughter. Let her enjoy this.

YABU to give away your dds clothes if she likes them and would enjoy wearing them.

If she doesn't like them and chooses not to wear them, then it's fine to get rid.

Why would you think not liking character clothing is 'snobby'? It's not a class thing. Pretty miserable, though, to not let your children have perfectly acceptable inexpensive things they like.

I think YABU over the clothes. What textfan said.

Plus children have no taste at all Let her be to enjoy the clothes her granny bought her no matter how much they aren't to your taste.

Upmarket people don't fret about their children wearing character clothes for play - it's the Hyacinth Bucket types who get their knickers in a twist about what's 'chavvy' and what isn't. In fact most very well off people of my acquaintance happily buy character clothes from charity shops!

The character clothes thing is baffling me tbh. Most of DD1s things have HK or minnie on them. It used to be peppa.

I couldnt give a stuff either way. Shes 4. She doesnt need to have taste. Most days you would think shes taking a challenge to see how many clashing colours she can wear at once :o

YANBU, if you are getting bales of clothes that you just can't deal with, charity shop 'em. Keep a few of the nicer ones, but as someone else said upthread, some GPs just don't get that people tend to live in smaller homes these days, often without a loft, shed or garage in which to keep overspill, and there is physically nowhere to keep bales and bales of clothes.

It's great to be able to fit your child's clothes into the chest of drawers without having it stuffed so full the drawers can't close properly. She's a child, not Carrie Bradshaw- how many clothes does she need? It doesn't teach her to look after her things if she's got that much tat.

My DS loves character clothes, he's just 5 now but from about 3 up. I think it's unfair not to let your DD have her own presents just because you don't like them. Mind you DS has 2 unworn jumpers at the moment which were gifts that I don't like...it seems he doesn't either!

The barbies - I understand that your gift has been devalued. I didn't get to buy my DS several "firsts" eg trike, bike etc or even be involved in choosing so I understand your hurt. But he got fun out of those things and I love him, so... I sucked it up.

Why not ask your DAUGHTER what she thinks of HER presents?

Yabu

Bless, you could be me a decade or so ago OP.

I didn't want my little sweeties indoctrinated with war-like macho nonsense so I got all peevish and censorial about the tide of camo tat and car-boot sale Action Man bits and pieces that rolled in from DP and his side of the family ( you think 8 Barbies are a bit much, we had about 20 grim faced plastic twonks with realistic hair, gripping hands and nothing in the trouser department! )

Thing is, it really doesn't matter ... I know it's annoying and not to your taste but the clothes are just clothes ( mine are both top to toe black and skulls now ) and she'll have grown out of Barbie in a year or two so you can bin the lot!

I still have very fond memories of DS1s bathtime dramas with the scuba-ing Action Man that you could wind up and his nightly 'orrible fate in the merciless jaws of Betsy, Dr.X's giant mutant shark ...

I hate loathe and detest character clothing too. PJs I can handle, clothing NO. I refuse to put my DC in them and have asked that people do not buy them. If I had my own way nobody would buy my DC clothes, i don't know why people do. Yes I know I'm a brat. I do not give a shit.

I'm with you OP - cannot abide character clothing. Most of my DCs' stuff is second hand from eBay, but I love classic, traditional clothes for children and that's what I buy. Luckily GPs have similar taste to me, but if they went mad and started buying Peppa Pig stuff it would be taken straight to the charity shop. That's not snobbery, it's just personal taste, and it would pain me to see my kids dressed in naff stuff. I know I can't control what they wear forever, but they're only three and one, so I'm enjoying it while it lasts...

Think this is a difficult one - I have been experiencing something similar but to a lesser extent as DD is only 9 weeks old! This is the first grandchild for both sides and all of the GPS went nuts buying gifts as soon as they found out the sex of the baby.

I don't mind my DM's gifts as we have similar taste (also quite traditional/no cartoon characters) but the quantity really started to get me down (especially as she has little disposable income) so I had a word with her and she really cut back. I was also able to have a word with my DSM who had been giving us sackfuls of clothes from Asda (not that I mind clothes from the supermarket - it was just the sheer volume of them that bothered me). My MIL on the other hand has lots of disposable income and, combined with the fact that she sees DD as the daughter she always wanted but never had, means we've been absolutely inundated with clothes and toys, most of which are not to my taste. Besides the taste issue, she also bought clothes that were just inappropriate (ie tiny baby size before DD was even born - at average weight - and winter clothes in the size she'll be wearing during the summer). I asked DH to say something to his mum but his view was that she was enjoying herself and as she could afford it we shouldn't ruin her fun. I could see his point and I'm just going to put her in the clothes I like and give the rest unworn to charity. I've also decided not to let this stop me buying things I do like for DD - at first I felt that she had received so much stuff that I shouldn't buy her anything, but she is a much-wanted first child and I really wanted the pleasure of being able to choose some of her clothes myself.

I felt very ungrateful and spoilt about this for a long time as I realise that we're lucky to have so much help from so many quarters (and yes, this is a first-world problem), but I think you can find a happy medium. I think you should just keep the less offensive clothes and give the rest to charity. Your MIL will never know and she is getting the enjoyment of choosing things for your DD. I do understand your point about devaluation of gifts though - DD already has so much that I don't know how she will ever appreciate it. I do think it is much nicer to have one thoughtful gift from someone (regardless of the price) than a constant stream of presents - surely then presents become an expectation rather than a treat?

Can I just ask, WHY THE HATRED for character clothes? I genuinely dont get it! Kids ADORE wearing clothes with their favourite characters on them. My 2yo DS2 loves clothes, particularly if they've got George Pig on them