DH told ex our baby was an accident. AIBU to feel a bit odd about this?

[Rowrowyourboat]

Last week DH told his ex I'm pregnant. He told her that our planned and very much wanted baby that we were TTC for 5 months was an accident and he joked about getting the snip ASAP. I don't know if the pregnancy hormones but I just can't understand why he would tell her this? He said he was only joking and that she would give him a hard time about his age (39) if she found out we planned the pregnancy. He has a 6yo DS who is ecstatic at the news and everything was going so smoothly I just don't understand why he thought it would be a problem for his ex girlfriend who he hasn't been with for 4 years that we wanted a baby? Why did he think it would matter to her? Surely 'we're expecting a baby' is enough rather than attempting to justify it as an accident? His ex has got a boyfriend and has moved on and DSS is a happy and confident and loved little boy. I don't understand! It's getting me down. Is this a reasonable reaction or am I full of pg hormones? I'm nearly 14 wks. Also wrt to 'the snip' AIBU to think that is something we should discuss before he broadcasts it. He's never mentioned this intention to me before.

What a wanker

I'd be on him why he choose to refer to a wanted child as an "accident", because thats a shit thing to say, and i'd correct it too.

YANBU! I would be absolutely furious. What a bloody eejit.

If he's trying to protect her feelings - why? I mean, why would she need to be protected if you and her get on ok? Does she still have any feelings for him - or, dare I say i,t him for her?

Do you think that perhaps he has told her in the past he didn't want more children and now is pretending it was an accident for some bizarre reason?

Has he told anyone else it was an accident? Was he committed to TTC, but now that it's happened he's panicking?

I really think you need to have a long discussion with him to get to the bottom of this.

Oh, and TELL HER the truth, that you both wanted this child very much.

YANBU to offer DIY snip to your DH minus any form of anaesthetic with salt rub to open wounds afterwards.

On your own behalf but also on your child's behalf.

It might be a throwaway remark to your DH but if it were said/repeated in front of the 6 yr old there is nothing to stop the 6 yr old in the years to come informing his younger sibling 'well you weren't wanted, you were an accident' etc in the event of a disagreement either in teens or later on eg arguing about inherited assets. Little pitchers have big ears.

Here's hoping your beautiful baby bump takes entirely after her/his mother in the engage-brain-speak dept!