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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask family NOT to come to the hospital after dc is born?

43 replies

ditsydoll · 21/05/2013 18:26

I'm due this week. This will be dc2 and I would like everyone to leave the visiting until we get home simply because I would like dd to have some time with just us before were bombarded with visitors.

Dh thinks I'm being really mean because his mum will want to see the baby, I'll probably only be in for a few hours if all goes well. Iv already told my mum and she's totally fine with it.

Aibu?

OP posts:

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 21/05/2013 19:52

Where I gave birth they only allowed two people in, and one of them was DH. We had to give them names.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 21/05/2013 20:03

YANBU

And you know what? it really gets on my tits with this whole "but granny/aunties/NDN cat really wants to see the baby like right NOW! and their feelings are far more important than anyone elses!"

Stand your ground. Also as this is your second you probably wont be in hospital very long at all. I was out 8 hours after I had DC2. If things dont go well, well you wont want to have any visitors anyway! Win win really.

CheshireDing · 21/05/2013 20:28

YANBU

Just don't tell them when you go in to labour so they won't know anyway.

Ring them once you are home and when YOU want to see them.

DewDr0p · 21/05/2013 20:32

I'm with Purple on this though - much easier to have them visit for an hour or so while you're in hospital than have to entertain them at home.

Surely your dd is only going to be able to manage short visits to the hospital anyway? Can't the gps come at another time?

olivertheoctopus · 21/05/2013 20:35

Totally reasonable!!

everlong · 21/05/2013 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMelons · 21/05/2013 20:48

I am completely against the majority here because I just think it is so special for the GPs. My mum was with us for DS1 the whole time anyway, the whole family including my brother and SILs came up straight away also.

With DS2 I had a c-sec and both GMs were in the waiting room with DS1 the whole time, they saw me and DS2 briefly as we came out of the lift on the bed but they let DH bring DS1 in to meet the baby first. The DH took DS2 out to see them.

I am really close to my parents and in-laws and really wanted them there, it would never had crossed my mind.

Lots of friends came up at the first evening visiting time also, really didn't worry me but I still had a catheter in so was a bit embarrassing carrying a bag of wee around with me as there were too many of them to come on the ward so had to wheel my 'wee' out to see them

If your DH was ok with it then I would say its 100% up to you but if he's not I think you still need to consider his feelings. It is only for a really short time as visiting hours are everso short and strict these days.

everlong · 21/05/2013 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

McNewPants2013 · 21/05/2013 21:57

I did the other way around, a lot of visitors in the hospital however I told every one once we was home no visitors for a few day so me DH and ds could just bind as a family in our own home.

McNewPants2013 · 21/05/2013 21:58

Bond not bind

EleanorFarjeon · 21/05/2013 22:02

I think it's so exciting for the gps - why not let them pop in as soon as possible?

I was on a 6 hour discharge last time but still managed 6 visitors and had a house full when I got home!

RaspberryRuffle · 21/05/2013 22:44

YANBU.

It will still be exciting for GPs aand everyone else if they meet your new baby when she is a day or a week old or whatever, because the excitemnet will be in meeting them.

elQuintoConyo · 22/05/2013 17:52

I didn't give two craps who came to see me, everyone stayed for ten or fifteen minutes, had a coo and left. No one had a camera - that I would have objected to, but nothing else.
My guests did come in dribs and drabs and were very sensitive to me looking shattered/about to pass out.
Do Brutish midwives really step in and get rid of visitors for you? I gave birth abroad so that's new to me, they didn't give two stuffs how many visitors you had or for how long (luckily I had the room to myself - luck of the draw )
If you want visitors to leave, surely you'd just kick them out yourself?

elQuintoConyo · 22/05/2013 17:54

Brutish midwives? British! Freudian slip?

SantanaLopez · 22/05/2013 17:58

The midwives in my hospital kicked people out, in that very firm-yet-nice way that left no room for backchat.

I was in for a few days though, so would have gone thoroughly insane if I didn't see anyone besides DH.

Summerblaze · 22/05/2013 18:33

YANBU in the fact that it is your own choice. I myself like the lots of visitors at the hospital thing.

However, just to warn you. I had a nearly 4yo DD when DS1 was born. I had all these ideas of their first meeting and how she would want to sit for hours and cuddle him. That did not happen. She came in, gave me a cuddle and then went to have a look at him. DH sat her down with a pillow and then she sat with DS..........for 3 minutes before she got bored and started asking when she was going home, i'm thirsty, hungry etc etc.

She was 8 when DS2 was born and was besotted with him. DS1 (4) not so much.

Of course, your DD may be different but you just never know.

Decoy · 22/05/2013 19:41

YANBU. Take your time

ems1910 · 22/05/2013 20:03

I am considering a home-birth but one of the plus points for me with a hospital birth is the limited visiting hours and the only two people at a time rule. I am already worrying about it. I, of course, will let people in but I want my eldest to meet baby first, even if it just ten minutes.

I always find that it is best t just go with the flow, things will work themselves out and the mws are there to help with any awkward 'getting rid of' :o)

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