with Uncle who gave distant rellies stuff belonging to deceased Aunt

[Roomfor1more]

While myself, my sister and our Mum got nothing as a momento of her's, she'd be my Mum's SIL.

Saw a remark on FB earlier on a distant relation's(newly found Americans seeking their relations!) page saying thanks to said Uncle for the bits he sent them. Feel a bit pee'd off about it. I'm not looking for anything big just something like a scarf, just something of her's to have. My aunt was only one of 2 in my family, really small family and few relations but we all got on well and were/are close or so I thought.

Don't mind me I'm just thinking out loud...........

have you ASKED HIM ...

Maybe they asked him to send them. Have you asked for anything?

I think people do very odd things when their loved ones die.

FWIW, my mum did exactly the same thing when my grandma died - she gave all her jewellery to some totally random people (as we found out at the funeral), and literally kept nothing for her family or herself. My DH's eyes were out on stalks by the whole thing.

I'm still occasionally upset by it, but there's nothing to be done about it, and I appreciate it was the result of grief, not thoughtlessness or malice.

Was it his wife?

He hasn't dealt too well with her passing. So yes the logical side of me sees he may have felt better sending stuff of her's away rather than giving it to us who are around him, if that makes sense??

Might call up during the week and see how he is. I might approach it with him.

I know I'm being silly

is he your mum's dbro or is he your dad's dbro? Or was she your dad's dsis?

how close were you all?

No they wouldn't even have known her bar seeing a picture of her. So thats why I'm a bit confused. Grendalsmum you might be right. Did you ever get anything back?

Mum's dbro.

Close enough to see each other weekly.

well then definitely ask - it is odd that he forgot you but if he's not dealing with it too well then it is understandable

You knew her and have memories, they don't have those memories and perhaps would like something more tangible?

His his property to dispose of as he see's fit, unless bequests were left.

I could sort of understand your concern if the dead relative had been the blood one, but tbh, I don't really get your point.

Are you sure it's only a scarf you're after? Sorry to be so blunt, but my Aunt (Mum's SIL) died last year, and my Uncle (her BIL) earlier this year, and we were all extremely close. I have no idea where any of their stuff went and nor do I want to, or have any right to.

Maybe I'm the odd one, I truly don't mean to offend, but would you really want a dead woman's scarf? I'd rather have a photo or something myself.

Roomfor1more - none of us were ever given anything, but by chance, I'd borrowed one of her spare hankies, which she'd embroidered with her initials. So I have an embroidered hankerchief, which is at least something very closely connected to her, if not the keepsake that I know she'd wanted to give me.