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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sorry, another parking one. Who is being unreasonable here?

88 replies

dawnpreview · 20/05/2013 16:50

We have lived in our house for 8 years. Small cul-de-sac with some parking at the end near our house. For all the time we have lived here, DH and I have parked in the same spots- in the 2 spaces nearest the houses. Never has there been any trouble with parking.
New neighbours have just moved in next door and suddenly I have been pushed out of my parking space. The bloke asked me earlier if I could move my car over so his wife could park nearest the house, as it is easier for them to get the young kids out of the car.
I did move it, but when his wife came home I went out and said I felt it was a bit off to suddenly be asked to park elsewhere just because they wanted that space. They argued that it was because of getting the kids in and out (baby and 3 year old), and said as mine are older (5) it is easier for me to park over the other side of the close.
I realise this sounds extremely petty, and there is no reason that I can't park elsewhere. It is after all a public road, and no one owns the spaces. It just really annoys me that I have been pushed out of my parking space by people who have only lived here a week. I wouldn't dream of moving into a new street and turfing someone else out of a space they had parked in for 8 years.
So, am I being unreasonable to feel so put out by this? Or are the new neighbours unreasonable for coming in and disrupting our long standing parking arrangements?

Chocolate and wine for anyone who hasn't yet died of boredom!

OP posts:
SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 20/05/2013 16:51

public street is first come first served. 'Seniority' isn't relevant.

mumblechum1 · 20/05/2013 16:52

Um, personally it wouldn't bother me, because I can't generally be arsed to argue with neighbours; one day you may need them to take a parcel in/give you a jump start/feed the cat.

Hassled · 20/05/2013 16:53

Sorry - I can see why you're miffed and nobody likes change etc but I think you're being a bit unreasonable here. A toddler and a baby trumps a five year old in terms of getting out of a car as close as possible to your house.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/05/2013 16:53

If they just moved in they don't know you have parked there for 8 years. They probably think that doing what ever is best for everyone is best.

SquinkiesRule · 20/05/2013 16:53

Well the spot doesn't belong to anyone, so if it's empty she can park there, and if you are in it she can't.
They knew they had kids, maybe they should have found a house with off road parking if they are that worried about it.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 20/05/2013 16:53

YABU, sorry. They don't have any reason to think about it the way you do.

The way they see it, they've moved in, there are unassigned spaces, they have politely asked you to move your car and you seemed ok with it ... how are they to know you're territorial about it?

Where do you want them to park? If it's further away from their place, I think the only fair thing is just to let whoever gets there first park there, and accept that your neat arragements have been disrupted, which is one of those things that happens sometimes.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/05/2013 16:54

Also, why do you and your partner get both of the closest spaces?

SirChenjin · 20/05/2013 16:55

First come first served. No-one owns the space, so it's a case of whoever gets there first gets the space. Having young children and a baby doesn't give them a right to the space - as Squinkie says, they should have gone for a house with private parking if it meant that much to them.

shewhowines · 20/05/2013 16:56

mmm difficult one. You don't want to be at war with the neighbours but they were being cheeky to ask you.

I think I'd say that thinking about it, you are not keen for your young children to get wet in the rain or cross over the cul de sac as they are still not old enough to have much road sense. You would have to closely supervise which you wouldn't parking next to your house, so you would prefer not to always park over there. I'd agree first come, first served for the best spot.

YANBU to feel a bit put out that circunstances have changed, but YABU to really mind.
.

SirChenjin · 20/05/2013 16:58

Actually - thinking it about it - if both you and your DH park in the 2 nearest spaces, couldn't he park across the close which would leave a space for your new neighbours?

scarletforya · 20/05/2013 16:58

It is after all a public road, and no one owns the spaces

suddenly I have been pushed out of my parking space

I have been pushed out of my parking space

You are contradicting youself a bit there OP!

YABU but they were u to ask you to move your car too. Its first-come-first-served, so they need to suck it up if they don't get there first.

dubdurbs · 20/05/2013 17:04

Its not YOUR parking space! Pick your battles, woman-you are potentially going to have there people as neighbours for a long time, so suck it up and be neighbourly and share the spaces closest to your houses. If your husband doesn't have your child in the car, them he should park in a spot up the road and let you park nearest your home, or vice versa.

ChaoticTranquility · 20/05/2013 17:05

Neither of you have a right to that space. If you buy a house without a driveway then you take your chances.

I disagree that a 1yr old and a 3yr old trump a 5yr old in who gets the nearest spot. First come first served.

Original poster
dawnpreview · 20/05/2013 17:12

In answer to why we get the closest spaces- well, that is just how it worked out when we moved in. Everyone always parked in the same spaces, and no one ever parked in anyone elses.
My DH needs to park near the house as he has to plug hoses into his van to fill it with water (he is a window cleaner).
As I said, there is no reason I can't park on the other side of the close. But equally, so could they, we are only talking a few feet extra to walk here, not exactly far to carry a baby.
I did say I know it's petty. It was more the fact that they asked me to move. I did, because I was so shocked at being asked and couldn't think of any reason to say no. I have just had a really crap day, and to come home and be made to feel that I am in the wrong for not letting them park there just got to me a bit.
I will just park over the other side and let them have the space.

OP posts:
Fluffy1234 · 20/05/2013 17:14

I think they were unreasonable to ask you to move your car and you are unreasonable to think it's your space. I wouldn't move the car again if they ask and just do first come first served. Neither of you have a right to park right near your house or get the other to move your car. If you or the neighbour really want/need to park right outside their house they/you should have brought a house with garanteed parking.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 20/05/2013 17:14

I think you're doing that very classically British thing of being too polite and then seething.

They asked you to move - once.

Next time the space comes free, park right back where you usually do. Eventually you'll both get used to it and either you'll end up swapping between spaces or you'll find it just works out that one or other of you typically gets there at the right time to get the space first.

It's not as if you said 'yes, I will move and I will never park here again', right? So just act as if you thought they meant could you move this once.

everlong · 20/05/2013 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eastmidlandsnightnanny · 20/05/2013 17:19

Deffo being U we park on road n sometimes someone else is there so we park elsewhere no biggy frustrating with toddler n bags when its much futher away but that's joys of living with open green space to front n no driveways or parking directly outside our house.

They could be your neighbours for next 10-20yrs have them over for bank hol bbq n move on

Ezza1 · 20/05/2013 17:28

If anyone came to me to tell me where to park my car I would be pissed off.

Watch yourself OP, they will be telling you what colour to paint your front door next.

Original poster
dawnpreview · 20/05/2013 17:28

I think the only way we are going to avoid bad feeling is for me to just always park over the other side. I think they will just keep asking me to move if I park there, and it will just get everyone more annoyed.
Thanks for all your replies, and I accept that I am being totally unreasonable Grin

OP posts:
hedgefund · 20/05/2013 17:28

it's like that round here, just make sure you get into the space if its free then park elsewhere (and seethe) when it isn't - I completely emphathise with you though, parking is a pita unless it's allocated

hedgefund · 20/05/2013 17:29

let them keep asking and keep on parking in the place you always have if you can

MissLurkalot · 20/05/2013 17:30

But it is not YOUR parking space, it is not on your land.
It's a free for all, and you should be very lucky you've had 8 years of parking in the same space.

As a compromise, could you agree to park in one of the spaces each? One for you, and your hubby parks further away... and one for them, their other car, if there is one, parks further away.

I think you are being unreasonable otherwise, sorry.

Sallyingforth · 20/05/2013 17:32

First come, first parked.
And again the next day, and the next.

Fluffy1234 · 20/05/2013 17:32

Op I think the neighbours are being more unreasonable than you.