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to be annoyed with mil

18 replies

edinbuirgh80 · 19/05/2013 19:23

My mil has just given jelly babies to our 8 month old. I let it go at the time as i don't want to cause friction but now I Am annoyed. Weaning dd has been a nightmare and this of course is not going to help.
Aibu to have gentle words with her.

OP posts:

phantomnamechanger · 19/05/2013 19:25

YANBU aside from the poor nutritional element, starting bad habits etc, jelly sweets are a danger of joking to such a young child


CatsRule · 19/05/2013 19:28

You will get loads of people saying they are not poison and would you be annoyed if it was someone else and not mil....but I would be annoyed too especially as ds had bad reflux until 11 months and feeding was a nightmare too. Plus, these things are your decision. My mil insists on touching ds's food..after she has a fag and hasn't washed her hands! Plus she aleays wants to give him rubbish food...I don't deny him treats but it's the volume. I'm now not shy in saying no bit then we have had many a mil issue and she had to know who was boss where my ds was concerned...although every now and then she will try play a power game. She never will win!

In short yanbu!


cherryade8 · 19/05/2013 19:32

Yanbu. Why would you give sweets to a baby?! It's crazy. terrible for her teeth and nutritionally awful as well.


RaspberryRuffle · 19/05/2013 20:02

YANBU, and if you have a calm word with her and don't go off on one you are being super reasonable.
Better still get your DH/DP to have this discussion with you as a united front saying that it's not good for baby's developing teeth etc and taht as she's such a good grandma you know she wants the best for teh baby too.


Doubtfuldaphne · 19/05/2013 20:04

I'm surprised he didn't choke! She's mad!


poopnscoop · 19/05/2013 20:07

Stupid woman - for a variety of reasons.


MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 19/05/2013 20:08

It sounds like you were there when she gave her the the jelly babies, why didn't you say at the time instead of letting her do it and quietly seething about it?


BreasticlesNTesticles · 19/05/2013 20:09

The choking is what would bother me - that's crackers!


ENSMUM · 19/05/2013 20:10

I would be really concerned about choking. I still don't like to give 2.6 yr old DD that sort of thing and I don't think I tend to be particularly pfb. In fact, I have had lots of comments about how relaxed my parenting is.

In anycase, you are the parent and its not up to anyone else to over ride your decisions however unreasonable they think they are (serious neglect aside obviously)


SisterMatic · 19/05/2013 20:11

Massive choking hazard, I would have hard serious words.


SisterMatic · 19/05/2013 20:11

I would have had.
Oh dear.


thebody · 19/05/2013 20:12

Agree with others, would never allow this because of choking risk.


Numberlock · 19/05/2013 20:15

Could be she's just forgotten what age they are appropriate for... Not a great idea but you could just tell her you don't what it to happen again.


MamaBear17 · 19/05/2013 20:29

YANBU but you should have said at the time. I have been in your position with both my mum and MIL many times and have just said 'no, she is too young for sweets yet'. Of course, they gave me eye rolls and made 'mean mummy' comments towards my baby but I just maintained the 'my kid, my rules' stance. I let dd have a tiny bit of white chocolate at 10 months old because it was Easter, and then gave the 11 eggs she was bought to hubby to eat. Now she is 21 months I still do not give her chocolate because I let the granny's give it her as a treat when they see her on a weekend. That way junk is limited but the grandparents are kept happy. I still do not allow boiled sweets or candy lolly pops because the choking thing scares me, and I have to keep my mother in check at times because she will go overboard. For example, the other day she gave dd an ice cream - her favourite treat. DD ate it all and asked for more and my mother bought out a second one! When I told my mum no she said I was being unreasonable because 'the ice cream had run out before dd had finished eating'!!!! It was an adult sized portion to begin with and it was 10.30am! This from the woman who only allowed me and my brothers sweets on a Friday night! I have also stopped my MIL from allowing DD to open four different packets of biscuits after eating half of one, throwing it away and then wanting to open the next packet, and the next, and the next! Good luck, grandparents always mean well, but some of them do need to be kept in check!


Nobhead · 19/05/2013 20:42

I would be pissed off to so YANBU. Have a word and let MIL know that sweets are off the menu until she is old enough not to choke on them. You will probably be met with eye rolls and "well it never did mine any harm" comments but just wheel out my favorite line "next time you have a baby you can feed them what you like but with my baby it's my rules!"


BreasticlesNTesticles · 19/05/2013 20:43

I have also stopped my MIL from allowing DD to open four different packets of biscuits after eating half of one, throwing it away and then wanting to open the next packet, and the next, and the next!



pictish · 19/05/2013 20:45

It's not worth falling out over.


KhaosandKalamity · 21/05/2013 09:17

This is seeming to be a scary trend, be strong, I have had to have strong words with both my own mother and MIL about things they were trying to feed our dog (chocolate and chicken bones), basically summing up with "if you dislike our dog so much that you would try to poison/choke her, then please don't ask us to bring her around". Imagine the "mummy is being unreasonable" response, when it is about a dog, not a child (eye-rolling is replaced by actual laughter, usually hysterical). I am terrified about what I will have to deal with when GC come along, but my strong stance over the pup has laid the ground work. A bit of humor can make an angry rant seem far less harsh as well.

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