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AIBU?

to contact him!

27 replies

larvalamp · 19/05/2013 16:20

I went to college with this guy and we were really good friends with an undercurrent of romantic feelings that we never really openly expressed. It was one of those, if we take the plunge will it ruin our friendship type scenarios. It was quite intense. Anyway we drifted apart finally and lost contact after college although I often thought about him with regret.

Anyway, fast forward 20 years and I dreamt about him the other night and when I woke googled him and found him straight away, photo and all and he immediately just was obviously this really nice guy I used to know. So, would I be unreasonable to contact him? I am absolutely not looking for romance, am happily married with kids, or even to meet up, he lives in another country just feel creepy looking at his profike on-line and not identifying myself. Just want to say I remember him fondly and am glad he seems to be doing well.

What do you think?

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Leverette · 19/05/2013 16:22

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Leverette · 19/05/2013 16:23

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StuffezLaYoni · 19/05/2013 16:24

Really, really no.

DorisIsWaiting · 19/05/2013 16:25

No, despite what you are telling yourself there is every cxhance you would still feel the same about him. How is that fair on your dh / dc.

Why open pandora's box?

squoosh · 19/05/2013 16:25

What would be the point?

bobthebear · 19/05/2013 16:28

YABU. Be honest, you just want to know if he still fancies/thinks about you right?

Icelollycraving · 19/05/2013 16:32

No. Don't do it,opening a can of worms.

livinginwonderland · 19/05/2013 16:34

YABU, don't do it.

Cherriesarelovely · 19/05/2013 16:40

No, don't. There are too many "what ifs?"

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/05/2013 16:40

I am suddenly psychic and am predicting a completely unanimous MN thread. You would be completely U to contact him and you know it.

AgentZigzag · 19/05/2013 16:50

You would be completely U to contact him and you know it.

YABU.

(That's the most credible evidence I've come across that The Ability exists, and you have it MrsT )

LaurieFairyCake · 19/05/2013 16:57

Of course you should! What if you were destined to be together, what if lambs gambolled, kittens purred and the universe was filled with the joyful singing of a romance and love that endures........

get a grip !

loopylou6 · 19/05/2013 17:05

and would you be planning on telling your dh you'd contacted him?

stopmovingthefurniture · 19/05/2013 17:16

I understand the wanting to contact him. Very difficult. In my opinion, this is a definite downside to marriage. But you're being naïve in thinking you could control what would happen next, either in your heart or his. I bet your DH wouldn't like it either (consider if the shoe was on the other foot). I wouldn't. It was probably a mistake to even look him up online. There will always be a road untaken.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/05/2013 17:26

Agent.

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 19/05/2013 17:33

There's a reason why you drifted apart. Keep focused on that, put the rose tinted glasses down and think about your DH

LaRegina · 19/05/2013 17:38

Yes absolutely go for it.

That is, as long as you would be 100% happy if you DH told you he had been dreaming about a long lost almost-girlfriend; had then googled her; found her; and was going to contact her

HeffalumpTheFlump · 19/05/2013 19:41

Erm no? Are u actually happy in your marriage?? Because you seem to be looking for something else. What's missing? YABU, it's really not fair on your DH.

ElizaBecca · 19/05/2013 19:47

Don't do it, it hurts too much. Exes are that for a reason, or those who could have been flames weren't for similar reasons - dont do it!

LittleMissGerardButlerfan · 19/05/2013 19:49

I think you know in your heart of hearts it's the wrong thing to do or you wouldn't have posted.

I understand your curiosity but no good can come of this.

IvorHughJarse · 19/05/2013 19:49

Yes, go for it! What a fabulous idea!

Not really. Just wanted to make the thread look a bit less YABU-y. Don't do it, and imagine how you'd feel if your DP did similar with an ex flirty friend. Not nice.

FreddieMisaGREATshag · 19/05/2013 19:50

Why on earth would you do this?

AnyFucker · 19/05/2013 19:52

are you completely crazy ?

Floggingmolly · 19/05/2013 19:52

What outcome, however unlikely, are you hoping for?

ilovesooty · 19/05/2013 20:00

You can't be serious, surely?

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