To think this isn't an acceptable interview question?

[louloutheshamed]

A female colleague was asked in an interview for a high profile role whether or not having two young children would affect her ability to do the job. This makes Me so cross, and I want to encourage my colleague to challenge the interviewer about it, especially as man in our workplace was recently appointed to a Similarly demanding role, and also has children the same age as my colleague's. I highly doubt that he was asked that question!

They really shouldn't ask this, should they??

L

A job that doesn't work for any person who has dependants shouldn't have to be given to them IMO.

It's not like employers are out there just looking for a chance to discriminate against women with children for the hell of it. They are trying to find the best person for a job. If the job often requires overtime a short notice or travel, then it's fair for that employer to know that the person they choose will be able to do that job, either because they have a supportive spouse/family/childcare arrangement, or because they don't have more important responsibilities that will prevent them from being able to do the role.

But, having said what I have above we all know that the reality is that the majority of single parents are women and also women probably (I'm not saying definitely because there are no real stats on this AFAIK), but probably are more likely to be the ones taking time out if a child is sick/for holiday cover/childcare emergencies/hospital, dental, optical appointments/school concerts and meetings etc.

So regardless of whether it's fair it is understandable that someone might ask that question when the job might be adversely affected by repeated/short notice absences on the part of the employee. We shouldn't be blaming employers for that but should be looking at our own relationships, at how we raise our children and what expectations we teach them to have, at what expectations we have of our life partners with regard to the sharing of childcare.

Ah, but do they Salmo, do they???

I'll be looking for work soon and am currently practicing my responses to this question, which range from "shove your job up your arse, I don't want to work for a sexist company like this anyway" to a polite "all arrangements are in place to enable me to carry out this role successfully". Probably the latter because I'm not very confrontational in RL .

Asking every the same question does not automatically make it an acceptable question.

You don't put children on your CV. You don't put career breaks either - not unless you can cover it with retraining, dabbling in your own business, bought a house that needed extensive renovations, went travelling - anything but children.

Wake up Clouds and HollyBerryBush, it's illegal to ask those questions. See the Equality Act. The same question should be asked of male candidates, or don't ask it at all.

And wake up, other women fought for equality in the workplace and they are still fighting. Depressing that women in particularly turn out to argue self-righteously on threads that employers should be free to discriminate against them for having children.

I've been working since the early Eighties and yes, it is depressing that this sexist stuff still goes on.

I think it's bloody depressing that in the 21st century, working mothers still have to keep our children a secret, to conceal our mat leave from our CV. I worked in a job a few years ago where no-one knew I had children for at least a year, so paranoid was I about mentioning them.

It's a perfectly acceptable question if put to both sexes IMHO, Love, although because of the nature of society and relationships in this country it might mean that the answer brings forth a greater number of suitable male candidates than it does females.

It may also bring forth a greater number of childless women candidates than candidates with children and that's perfectly acceptable too.

It's a fact that some jobs involving travel or with short notice requirements are not suited to those with children unless they have pretty much watertight support and childcare.

Tribunal waiting to happen

FJL03 It's illegal to ask this question. Wake up.

Also people partners die, and that results in them being single parents.

Funnily enough, all the looking at your relationships shit in the world won't stop terminal cancer.

But hey, do keep fighting for an employers' right to discriminate against women, and single parents in particular because they are just not up to scratch. God, they just never learn do they? Those, poor, poor employers.

And do petition the Government to cut single parents' benefits because they haven't managed their relationships properly.

Funnily enough, I've managed being a lawyer, which involves travelling and overtime, lots of short notice changes and have worked (apart from mat leave) my DSs entire lives - they are now 12 and almost 15. As mentioned, I have no family support. I resent any implication that because I am a single parent, because my parents inconsiderately a) didn't have have more than 1 child, so I have no siblings and b) died when I was in my early 20s, I'm some huge risk as an employeee. When in fact I am far better at, my job, and take much more pride in it than any of my childless colleagues, or the male ones with DC.

You're talking to just the right person about partners dying and being a lone parent, myfriendflicka, so spare me the fucking lecture please.

I wasn't questioning the legality. I know the law, thank you, or at least that's what that certificate on my study wall says. I was saying what I feel, not what is. Read what I actually posted please and not what you want to see.

Oh yes FJL03 let's hope your life is very smooth.

Let's hope your partner never leaves you or dies, you don't get ill yourself, your children don't get ill or get cancer or suffer a debilitating illness (that happens too) you don't suffer an accident or become disabled, your parents don't become infirm and need help and care.

I expect you are very young and think nothing that would cause you to take time off or need to arrange flexible working will ever happen to you. Because you manage everything tremendously well, and will have complete control over every bit of your life.

You wouldn't want to piss off your employer by taking time off or needing to consider your life outside work, would you?

You don't know the law - and you were the one that was lecturing.

Velvet, that's great and therefore your answer to the question in the OP would be, "Having 2 children won't affect my ability to carry out the job in the least as I have very well thought out provision for their care in place and back up should I need it".

The next candidate, male or female, might not have had the same answer and so would not have been suited to the job.

That's all I'm saying.

As I said - with 20 years union experience and a fairly good grasp of employment laws - there are ways and ways of asking the question.

Having had an interview where I was informed the induction course was in Rochdale I was asked whether 3 nights away would cause any problems. I was also asked if I could cover at other branches if short staffed which would have long travelling times.

All reasonable questions IMHO.

flicka, you're talking bollocks. I do know the law and stated how I feel, not how the law stands. I made no comment as to how the law stands on this issue either way, in fact.

And I'm not young, much less "very young", I have, as I stated above, experienced lone parenthood as a result of my husband dying, my father is very ill and infirm and in need of care atm and I've dealt with the cancer too.

So take your assumptions and shove them love.

I was asked how old I was AND how I would juggle childcare in my recent interview.

Hmm.

As others have said, only acceptable if male candidates are asked too. Whilst it may be true that the majority of those taking children to emergency medical appointments are mothers, that's still irrelevant. It's their experience and skills you are recruiting them for, not stereotypical views based on their gender. If they have the same skills and experience as a male colleague, they are obviously managing just fine.

I have been asked in an interview if I had sorted out my childcare, where the nursery was (just incase I was fibbing) and what would happen if I one of my children was unwell. This was a part-time job in a shoe shop. I didn't get it obviously, it went to a childless student just like all of the other local retail jobs.
It does infuriate me that men wouldn't be asked the same question. I think the media should also be more responsible with their celeb interviews because I'm tired of hearing "How do you manage the work/home balance?" asked randomly of all female celebrities. They don't ask men the same banal questions.

On a slightly different note, as an employer (yes, you got that wrong too, flicka), I would be inclined to look a little unfavourably upon the man who, when asked the question in the OP, replied with something to the effect that the missus deals with all that.

A friend recently who said just that. His skills were more or less equal with those of a mother of one who confided (without being asked) that she shared care with her husband and that she'd be able to carry out the job, including travel, barring extreme emergencies. FWIW I think my friend made the right choice.

*Sorry, there's a stray "who" in my last post.

I think if you work, and are serious about it, you make damn sure that you have bombproof and watertight childcare arrangement. When mine were small (and when I was pregnant with DD2) I had a job that involved a lot of travel - I was away from home - a flight away, not in the next town, for two days most weeks. I had DH (whose job didn't involve travel), full time nanny and a back up nanny, in case there were any problems. Could I have done this as a single parent? I think yes, but nanny would have needed to be live-in.

I think there are ways of asking this question, and the way it was phrased is possibly not the right way, although they may get away with it if indeed they did ask it to the men with young children as well which I doubt they did.

At my last interview, I was asked who would look after my children. (And that the company didn't like the idea of taking women away from children, while the children languished in nurseries...)

I answered that my husband would be dealing with childcare as I'd done it all for the last ten years...