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What would you think if your DC received a party invite that had party childs siblings name on it?

53 replies

CrapBag · 18/05/2013 20:48

Just wondering on opinions on this one.

If your DC got an invite for a party and the invitation was for the child in the class that your DC knew, plus the name of the party childs (much younger) sibling, what would you think?

OP posts:
flanbase · 18/05/2013 21:25

typingg - doesn't have to be expensive

HibiscusIsland · 18/05/2013 21:25

But people can have joint parties if they want to. If you would normally spend say £8 on a present you could spend £4 on each, or £5 on one and £3 on the other. Or £8 on the older one and just a card for the younger. Joint parties are common round here.

Jinty64 · 18/05/2013 21:28

Get them a joint present.

CrapBag · 18/05/2013 21:28

I'm not saying that people can't have joint parties though. Joint parties are not a bad thing at all.

I do think it is poor that you put the siblings name purely to get more presents for them though.

OP posts:
CrapBag · 18/05/2013 21:32

jinty if they were a similar age that would be fine and a good solution, but because of their ages, there isn't really anything joint you could get.

I don't actually have an issue with what present to get etc, I was just wondering how it looks to other people who don't know the mum and its just through school friends. Obviously it isn't that bad a thing to do. Although the mum I did speak to thought the same as me.

OP posts:
flanbase · 18/05/2013 21:32

I keep on the look out for bits and bobs for presents for parties and christmas/birthdays. This saves me time when I have an invite & saves money (or I feel like I save money as I already have something to give)

5madthings · 18/05/2013 21:33

I would assume its a joint party and get a present form the child we know and a token gift form the sibling.

Branleuse · 18/05/2013 21:56

I usually have a joint party for my youngest two and put both names on the invite.

it is in no way to get more presents and im actually horrified that people may have thought I was doing a joint party to be grabby.
some people bought a gift for each and some people didnt. I made it clear to all invited that presents weren't even necessary at all, but if they wanted to, then something small.
I put both names on the invitation because its both kids party, not because I want my house filled with more toys, I can assure you

rainbowbrite1980 · 18/05/2013 22:44

My children always have a joint party as their birthdays are close together - I haven't thought twice about maikiing invitations that say "X and Y's party" as it didn't even occur to me that classmates etc would think they had to get the sibling a present!! liooking back, a couple of people did get a present for both, but hardly anyone. I think YABU to think this was done to get extra presents!!

rainbowbrite1980 · 18/05/2013 22:46

a board game is always a good joint present, for all ages and genders.

Bumply · 18/05/2013 22:54

Ds1 and ds2 have birthdays two weeks apart so we went through a period of having a joint party. Invites went out to two sets of friends, one for each child. Pretty sure invites were specific to the child - certainly didn't expect parents to give presents for both except for neighbours who knew both boys well.

BenjaminButton172 · 18/05/2013 23:12

My dd went to a joint party. She knew one but didnt know the other. The two birthday kids were in the same class & had the same friends however they invited 5 kids each to the party & none of the kids bought for both kids even though the majority of the kids played together at school.

MammaTJ · 18/05/2013 23:43

Joint party, present for friend, maybe card fo sibling, maybe not, depends how you feel.

PareyMortas · 18/05/2013 23:50

Dd and DS have had joint birthday parties a few times, they are a year apart so both dc's are known to all the invited children. I didn't want people to buy a present for both dc's just the one who was inviting their child, but did t feel I could put that on the invite. In the end We put something like Johnny invites you to his birthday party held jointly with his sister. Whilst we did get a few people buy both dc's a present most didn't and if they did the second present was very token. Tbh I'm liking it much more now they're older and the trend here is to buy a gift card for Game for the boys or similar. Less tat.

ProphetOfDoom · 18/05/2013 23:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 18/05/2013 23:59

I'm pretty sure the younger sibling's name is on there as a hint not to be surprised when a bunch of three year olds are at the party. That's all.

5madthings · 19/05/2013 00:07

People dont put the siblings name on the invite to get more presents ffs. Its because its a joint party!plus if you are writing out a bunch if invites you just do them all.the same rather tgan have to remembet to give each childs friends the one ftom.the correct sibling.

Talk about over thinking it!

BriansBrain · 19/05/2013 00:12

I would buy for the child we know.

We are struggling again this month but thanks to MN I sent DD to a party today with a handmade card and a wrapped box of maltezers + bag of smarties.

She had a wonderful time at a party I have before pretended we couldn't attend and I'm sure the b'day boy loved his chocolate hopeful

5madthings · 19/05/2013 00:15

brains i am.sure bday boy was thrilled
and if i was his mum i would be too i love maltesers!

janji · 19/05/2013 00:17

Worse is when dcs friends team up and have joint parties. Pair of twins and another dc had a joint party last week. Cost me a fortune in cards, pressies & wrapping!!

BriansBrain · 19/05/2013 00:21

Thank you 5, it is only the power of MN that has stopped me pretending we aren't free for a party. DD loved it and we have another one before pay day next week and then half term

Disappearing · 19/05/2013 00:41

I had a joint party for my 2 DC, and I was careful to only name the DC whose friend the invite was going to, to avoid people buying 2 presents. My school age DD had lots of friends at the party, my much younger DS has no friends is an independent soul, so when it came time to open the presents, DS had to be taken out for an hour or so, to avoid meltdown, he had about 3 presents vs. DD's 20 or so. He never noticed.

Next year I'll be doing separate parties, I think it will be better in many ways.

Sokmonsta · 19/05/2013 00:43

We're doing this tomorrow. But dd's school friends got invites from just her and ds' preschool friends got invited by just him. There is an overlap in that some of the invitees are siblings so dd sent an invite to A and ds to B but there is no expectation of presents and certainly not for both from everyone. The children want to have a party with their friends and that's all they are concerned about. While I can get away with saving money and doing a joint party I will.

It might be seen as fair warning that its a joint party to write both names on the invitation, but it's not harder to write x number out to one group and y to the other.

buswanker · 19/05/2013 00:44

I am really worried this is about me! I sent out party invites like this.
My children's birthdays are in the same week, didn't cross my mind anyone would think I was asking for two gifts. I definitely would not expect two gifts.
Feel so Blush now.

LadyLech · 19/05/2013 01:00

My daughters often share a birthday party. I never send out joint invites though, the eldest sends out her invites, and the youngest invites her friends. Why do people need to know in advance that it is a joint party?

I did have one mum who turned up for my youngest a couple of years ago and said she was sorry that she hadn't known it was a joint party, otherwise she would have bought two presents. I replied that that was the exact reason why I hadn't put it on the invites - I didn't want people to feel obliged to buy two presents.

Personally, I don't see any reason to send out joint invites, unless its angling for more cards / presents. After all, writing out invites is tedious enough, why write more than you actually have to?

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