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Original poster

To think that just because I'm pro-life doesn't mean I hate feminism?

812 replies

TinkerSailerSoldierSpy · 18/05/2013 12:38

Friend and I were having a discussion, I'm 18 weeks pregnant, and it was a bit of an inconvenient surprise, considering I've started a new job just 2 months ago.I mentioned that it wasn't going to look good, me taking maternity leave after not even being there for a year, and she suggested perhaps considering there was no dad on the scene and my new job, I should terminate. I felt a bit uncomfortable but told her that I could never do that as I'm pro life and view it as killing a child. She then proceeded to stare at me like I had an extra head and ask me why in a shocked voice. I explained my reasons and views and we got into an arguement about it, the usual stuff, what about in cases of rape and if the woman's not financially able to support the child, to which I countered but is it right for a woman to get an abortion just because she wants to continue a party lifestyle? And she stormed out the house shouting that I was misogynistic and women have the right to their own bodies. Let me be clear, I certainly would never stop anyone from making their decision about an abortion, I just can't seem to get over the idea of it, it repulses me. But I wouldn't judge a woman who got one. I understand the other viewpoint but I can't agree with it myself, and in all other respects I would say i was very liberal about womans rights. When I mentioned it to other friend she said it was my views but they were quite outdated and misogynistic. Are they? I need advice, should I apologize to friend A?

OP posts:
EglantinePrice · 19/05/2013 20:52

Loveit, yes as blistory said if you believe that women have autonomy over their bodies and should have the final say over what happens to their own body then you have to accept that terminations may take place at 40 weeks.

This seems pretty black and white to me (although I believe someone upthread referred to this as primary school thinking Hmm the poster didn't suggest an alternative). If we have autonomy then it doesn't just stop at 23 weeks.

VisualiseAHorse · 19/05/2013 20:54

The law does take away that right - but that doesn't make 'right' in my own opinion.

I agree with a PP, who said that in the unlikely event of women being allowed to abort up to 40 weeks, it wouldn't suddenly result in hundreds of women suddenly deciding at 36 weeks that they didn't want the baby any more and having an abortion. And I do agree that where possible, it would be best if a woman who did not want her baby at 40 weeks, then it should be adopted - but that wouldn't be termination would it? Seeing as that baby would be born alive.

Oh and as for the dads - sorry, not their bodies. Until men can bear children, they shouldn't get a say in what happens.

sunshine401 · 19/05/2013 20:54
Confused It does not make sense to me at all.

I women has the right to stop a pregnancy turning into a baby. Yes
I women has the right to kill a fully formed, living baby. No

That is why there is a law. Correct?

VisualiseAHorse · 19/05/2013 20:57

Sorry sunshine , I don't understand what you're saying.

sunshine401 · 19/05/2013 20:57

A women rather

sunshine401 · 19/05/2013 21:01

I don't see how it would ever need to be done so late on. Unless a medical issue develops.

VisualiseAHorse · 19/05/2013 21:01

Are you saying that a woman only has a right to abort once the baby has become a baby that can live seperatley from it's mother?

sunshine401 · 19/05/2013 21:02

argh... why rather stupid phone!!!

MaterFacit · 19/05/2013 21:03

Here is a list from 2008 from BPAS. Its a list of reasons given by 32 women for wanting an abortion over 22 weeks over the course of one month.

Eyeopening.

EglantinePrice · 19/05/2013 21:04

Well someone may change their mind, or their circumstances could change or they may have been in denial and the reality really kicks in... These are just reasons off the top of my head, of course no one should have to explain.

sunshine401 · 19/05/2013 21:05

Well it is not just about the mother's right is it. If a baby is fully formed and is therefore alive what would happen about the right's of that baby.
I cannot get my head around why anyone would wait so long. That's all, why try and change a law that enables women to wait so long. It just does not sound right.

LineRunner · 19/05/2013 21:08

Read MaterFacit's link.

Blistory · 19/05/2013 21:11

So the majority of those women aborting after 22 weeks were teenagers. Looks like education still isn't working and young girls need a hell of a lot more support.

VisualiseAHorse · 19/05/2013 21:12

I think it would be a teeny tiny minority who would have a 3rd trimester abortion without a medical reason. I'm thinking that possible reasons may be financial or relationship issues. But even if the current limit was removed, I honestly do not think there would be a sudden jump in very late term abortions.

EglantinePrice · 19/05/2013 21:14

No blistory only 10 of the 32 were teenagers.

VisualiseAHorse · 19/05/2013 21:15

Yes, it is JUST about the mother's right. The moment you take away her right to decide if she wants to become a mother, you are making her a 2nd class citizen, you are removing her ability to choose for herself.

Blistory · 19/05/2013 21:18

Sorry you're right but still much younger ages than I expected.

sunshine401 · 19/05/2013 21:18

They are all very sad cases but again if given the proper education and care they should of received it wouldn't of needed to get that far.
Making it legal does not make sense.

RedToothBrush · 19/05/2013 21:20

The really disturbing ones on that list for me, are the couple where the doctor had initially deliberately given the woman incorrect advice and that she had to continue the pregnancy.

Appalling.

Cloverer · 19/05/2013 21:22

sunshine, abortion til term is already legal if the foetus is disabled or the mother's physical or mental health is at risk.

EglantinePrice · 19/05/2013 21:22

Well 8 of them didn't realise they were pregnant so no amount of education and care would've helped them have an earlier abortion..

Blistory · 19/05/2013 21:23

So very few simply because of a change of heart or desire to carry on partying then. There are some truly heartbreaking reasons there - how much does anyone want these women to go on suffering ?

sunshine401 · 19/05/2013 21:25

Yes I know it is legal in rare cases.

BobblyGussets · 19/05/2013 21:45

That list is heartbreaking. Those poor women and I say that as someone who fliches at the technicalities of late termination.

I am a feminist and pro-choice, but very uneasy about late termination. I can't think of one reason not to give any of those woman help in the form of a termination. It sounds as if society hadn't given any of these women much help before they got to this stage.

It does fuck me off, however, when people on MN say you absolutely can't be a feminist if you don't support the idea of termination at term whatever the reason.

PearlyWhites · 19/05/2013 21:48

Yanbu Thanks