To think that dd will be okay overnight if I go away?

[Molehillmountain]

Dd2 is 22 months and co sleeps and bf a lot. I've had a rotten cold, coinciding with a really rough patch of sleep from dd2 and I'm really struggling to cope.
A good friend has given us a long standing offer of an overnight stay if either of us needs to catch up on sleep and I'd always thought it would be dh taking them up on the offer. But given that I've burst into tears twice over very little today (well, latest was a box of teeny tiny sylvanian family pieces in a bin so pretty annoying, but no one hurt etc) and am constantly irritable and unable to get stuff done, I think it might need to be me.
Thing is, I feel the parenting style I've encouraged has led to this and I feel guilty that I'm now going to effectively leave dd feeling confused and dh having a night with very little sleep. Aibu and unfair? I guess it'll be better in the long run and if it were someone else going away even for fun I'd say it was okay. But now it's come to this I feel guilty and as if I could have prevented it. I have two other dc btw, and dh is out of the house from early morning til early evening.

do it. xx

She'll be just fine with her dad, and may sleep much better than you think. Go for it.

You need the break. Your husband's perfectly capable of dealing with the children I'm sure, so stop punishing yourself and start packing a bag.

Im the same as you OP, I have a co-sleeping, breast feeding, 23 month old. I have absolutely no freedom at all.
I tried going to a friends house once, one evening, and he woke. He was absolutely hysterical by the time I got back to him (less than 10 minutes), proper choking close to puking sobs. Took me ages to calm him down.
He was only about 18ish months then, I personally think my son would ne less hysterical now.

Good luck with the break, please come back and tell me how it went. Perhaps I should grow some balls and go out again.

Thanks! I think there's an extra layer to why I feel I shouldn't go away and should get on with it, which is to do with my mother. If I type it here, I'm hoping the comparison will seem ridiculous. She had, and has mental health problems and was an inpatient for a big chunk of my childhood. And even when she was pretty well, I remember her taking me away to friends when it got too much. So I guess I'm afraid of being on a slippery slope to being like her. Actually, it does sound a bit of a mad comparison. One night away when you've had the best part of two years without a full nights sleep is hardly the same!

Thank heavens you have another 2 DC or I would be lecturing you on not giving your 22 mo Sylvainian pieces.

You need a break. Find something that will make it worth while. A concert, and exhibition, a night out with friends/family that you can justify that you couldn't do with your DC.

Then do it. I promise you all your DC and DH will be alive when you return.

DH may tell you for years later about the tantrum DD threw at 2am, but hey.

lynette
Well, another sanity sapping night where dd2 slept until 11pm, fed on and off til midnight and was then awake until I left dh with her at three thirty. Dd1 had been up and down too and not wanting to sleep in her bed. Slept on sofa, interrupted by the cat at 4.40 and then being woken by dh bringing dd2 down at six. Then dd1 and ds fully woke me ten minutes later with a hit the ground (and her brother) running argument. I tried to contact friend last night but had forgotten it was a big work night. It makes me think perhaps I shouldn't impose on them after all. But at the same time I can't go on like this. I dozed a bit this morning when dd2 napped so I'll survive til bedtime. Then I think I'm going to call friend and see how they're fixed this weekend. And I'll go to sleep at the same time as dd2. Thanks for the words of encouragement with the night away plan. I'm convinced she'd cope - there'd be a lot of night time telly but she's used to going down at night with dh. And then is come home fresh enough to take them all out so that dh could sleep.