Tina Mallone Pregnant at 50

[Lickitysplit]

AIBU to think it is crazy that Tina Malolne (from Shameless) is pregnant at 50 by donor egg?

[Sallystyle]

I have never heard of her before and it makes me tired to even think about having a child in my 50's and I too wouldn't bring a child into this world at that age because of the higher chance of dying or having health issues while the child is still quite young (and yes, I feel the same about men) but her decision so congrats to her.

[Sparklingbrook]

The interview on This Morning can still be watched on ITV Player. It seems This Morning were following her IVF journey, so it made sense she would go on the programme to say it worked.

[LaurieFairyCake]

I think anyone having a negative opinion about a 50 year old having a baby needs to get out more.

It's irrelevant with an average life span of 80.

Yet more 'opinions' about how women run their lives

[ItsallisnowaFeegle]

Following on from LadyBeagle; we all (those of us already blessed with DC) must die and leave our beloved children behind at some point (if we are lucky enough to go before them).

It doesn't become any easier IME to lose your mother depending on your age.

If children are brought into this world with love, then surely that's what truly matters?

[squoosh]

I'd be more about this if she was single, but she's married, the child's father will only be in his early 30s.

[KitchenandJumble]

Hear hear, Laurie.

[cloudpuff]

I dont think its odd for someone to have grankids and children of similar ages either, my (half)sister was an aunt in the womb, My Mum had me at 20, then my sister at 30 (and she was toldwith her second husband (who was 40 at the time) his 20 year old Daughter and her husband had their first baby 6 weeks before my sis came along, so at 40 my stepdad had his first grandchild, followed by a child of his own 6 weeks later. Nobody has ever commented on it and I certainly dont think of it as odd,

[ArthurCucumber]

Maybe you're talking in general, Laurie, as I was. But my opinion - which isn't in inverted commas as it's a real opinion, based on experience - isn't anti-women and their choices at all. I'm a proud feminist. In my first post on this thread I also mentioned my father, and his choice to have a child at 50+.

[LadyBeagleEyes]

Families come in so many shapes and sizes these days, there is no norm.
This is a loving couple having a much wanted child.
How can anyone criticise that?

[handcream]

I think we all secretly have a cut off point age wise where it becomes a bit 'bleugh'. For me it is 50 tbh and less if you just hadnt got around to it.

For me it was seeing that Romania women who was at the time the oldest women in the world to have a donor egg. She looked about 80 and had no real visible means of support in a country that had its own troubles.

For me that was a step too far. There will of course be some doctor somewhere looking to beat that age...

[JenaiMorris]

OK, well putting aside the grandma stuff I waffled on about upthread, the reason human females experience the menopause is that they run out of decent eggs.

That is it.

Most animals don't appear have a period of age-related infertility before they die of old age. It's quite interesting really.

[JenaiMorris]

Mind, most animals don't get to die of old age I suppose.

[OliviaMMumsnet]

Peace and love

[ArthurCucumber]

LadyBeagleEyes, yes, love is important. I suppose I'm just saying that it isn't everything.

I'm sorry that you lost your mother, but have to say that your experience isn't the same as what I'm referring to. I imagine it's very hard to care for an aged and ill parent while your teenager sits important exams, and I'll know more about it when my time comes in a few years time. But I wasn't 50. I wasn't even 30 at the start, and it wasn't a teenager with exams - or not yet. I've been caring/worrying about elderly parents (in the plural, this isn't just about women) whilst trying to establish breastfeeding and sleepless nights, juggling appointments with baby's first injections, nursery and school pickups, and now with one at secondary and one at primary. It has coloured my entire experience as a parent.

Of course that might not happen to every child of a parent who wants a baby at 50. But statistically it is much, much more likely. I just think that when these discussions arise, too much note is given to how the parent will feel, how much energy they have, whether the child will be embarrassed, all about when the child is still small. And when people consider later years, they think in terms of the age at which the parent will die, and them not being able to help with their grandchildren. If only lack of help was our only problem.

But some people above on this thread (not you) howl Fuck Off at anyone who dares to suggest that it might not be all about the prospective parent and what they want. They assert their right to go ahead with their decision - which of course they're entitled to do - and then call me self-important, for sharing my experience and suggesting it's more likely to happen to children of older parents.

[Cakecrumbsinmybra]

I know several men who've had kids in their late 40s and early 50s and no one seems to mention their age!

I know it's different because it's generally happened naturally (although in one case they've had IVF), and the woman has to carry the baby, but still...

I don't really follow sleb stuff at all, but I am really surprised at someone announcing it at 5 weeks - especially given her age.

[LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance]

I'm 49. I ovulate like clockwork each month. My DH only had to put his trousers on my bed and I'd get pregnant. I have no doubt that I could be pregnant if I wanted too (DH's vasectomy aside )

Whether I'd want to be is another story.

And I'm making these points because everyone's different.

As for a child having older parents, well both mine died young so I was parentless by my mid twenties. Yes it's hard but very do-able. Where there's be more of an issue is when youngish kids would need to care for increasingly infirm parents. But that happens in many families anyway for many reasons. It isn't ideal but with a wider network of support, it's not the end of the world either.

[Sparklingbrook]

I am the wrong side of forty. I had to have an internal scan last year, and scan lady said I still have eggs. I was happy and sad at the same time.

[ArthurCucumber]

The network of support is a good point, LetsFace. Having children at - maybe not 50 - but 40+ wasn't that unusual in the past, but that would mostly have been when families were larger, and the child born to older parents would have had siblings who could help with the care. Older siblings would have children who'd already grown up. I do have an older sister, but she recently (aged 59) has become very ill herself.

[ItsallisnowaFeegle]

Arthur - I didn't direct my 'self important' comment to any specific objector, however, if you are identifying with the comment, you're very welcome to claim it.

[madonnawhore]

Halle Berry's only four years younger. No one's up in arms about her pregnancy.

No one else's business IMO.

[ArthurCucumber]

Not at all, Freegle, because I'm not being self-important at all.

[LadyBeagleEyes]

But Everlong, your parents died young.
By rights they should have lived till their 80's or longer.
I'm 56, ds is 18 this year, I really don't think I'm old and about to die any time soon.
And I'm still completely compos mentis, fit enough for a smoker, and see no reason why I won't be in 20 years time.

[ArthurCucumber]

(posted too soon!) The reason I thought you were addressing me was that in the post that contained it you were backing up Kitchen, who I had dared to disagree with. If you weren't, that's fine.