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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to go away with another man

30 replies

Mosschops30 · 15/05/2013 19:37

Me and Dh have been separated for two months.
He bought me concert tickets for my birthday in June but after split he asked if I wanted to buy them, which I couldn't afford, he's now going with others, no idea who.

An old friend from school also has tickets to same concert, he was going with his brother who's not that fussed on the band. He has asked if I want to go with him.

Nothing dodgy suggested, I will get a room somewhere as will he I imagine. He said he'd much rather go with someone who loves the music.

I'm just thinking it would be my luck to run into h out of thousands of people and it would be awful if he saw me with a man so soon.
My friend said I should go but tell h what I'm doing

WWYD? AIBU to go?

OP posts:
purplewithred · 15/05/2013 19:40

Go. Why on earth not?

BarredfromhavingStella · 15/05/2013 19:41

You should absolutely go.

Original poster
Mosschops30 · 15/05/2013 19:42

Because I would essentially be going away for a night and day with another man.
If Dh did this with a woman 3 months after we split I'd be pretty gutted

OP posts:
Choccywoccydodah · 15/05/2013 19:43

Definitely go!
Yes, you may bump into him, but sod him! (We booked take that tickets for Cardiff, I think around 65000 it holds, ended up on the same row as 2 of our friends with 2 couples in between us! one of the couples wouldn't move, miserable sods!)

OnTheNingNangNong · 15/05/2013 19:43

But you're going to a music concert, you're continuing your life.

MikeOxard · 15/05/2013 21:14

It's not 'another' man anymore, it's just a man. Go.

ChairmanWow · 15/05/2013 21:19

He gave you the tickets as a present turn expected you to 'buy' them once you'd split up? How twatty of him. Go!

Fairylea · 15/05/2013 21:20

You're separated. Go. Don't even worry about it.

ChairmanWow · 15/05/2013 21:20

then not turn. Phone weirdness

BarredfromhavingStella · 15/05/2013 21:46

That's what I thought Chairman -that in itself is a good enough reason to go & not give it a 2nd thought.

FairhairedandFrustrated · 15/05/2013 22:04

Go!!! You don't know & didn't ask who he was going with - why should you report to him who you're going with!!

squeakytoy · 15/05/2013 22:04

But you arent dating the other man.. he is a friend.

I go to gigs with male friends, and I am married.

SamuelWestsMistress · 15/05/2013 22:09

Goodness me! Fuck the twat of an ex. Just go with your friend and have a great time.

StrangeGlue · 15/05/2013 22:14

So you bump into him and what? Say "hi this is my friend x". Drama over. Go it'll be fine.

FreshLeticia · 15/05/2013 22:31

I can't believe he bought you tickets for your birthday present and is now expecting you to pay for them? What an arsehole.
Glad you LTB.
Go with your old friend and stick two fingers up at him.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 15/05/2013 22:39

Go to the show, buy a T-shirt, sing along, dance in the aisles, and have a wonderful time! Grin
And it is ^nobody else's business" anymore where you go or what you do - you are separated/single and while it might still hurt, it also means that you can shag the lead singer on stage with bells on and NOBODY can say a damned word anymore Wink (iykwim! you are a grown up and able to decide for yourself where you go and who you go with)

MammaTJ · 15/05/2013 22:41

Go and enjoy yourself.

Cherriesarelovely · 15/05/2013 22:45

Do what you like OP, you are not answerable to him. Have a great time.

SirBoobAlot · 15/05/2013 22:49

Your ex got you a present, then expected you to buy the tickets off him?

That's reason enough to go.

Never mind the ex, just go and enjoy yourself.

DewDr0p · 15/05/2013 22:52

*Your ex got you a present, then expected you to buy the tickets off him?

That's reason enough to go.*

This with bells on!
GO! And have a great night.

PacificDogwood · 15/05/2013 22:55

Like everybody else, I'd say go - of course go.

Do YOU feel you are going with 'another man' rather than just 'a friend'?? Are you interested in him?

That'd be ok too, btw, I am just wondering why you even have to ask.

AnyFucker · 15/05/2013 22:57

Going against the grain here

If you accept that if your H did the exact same thing with another woman then of course YABU

Original poster
Mosschops30 · 15/05/2013 23:06

No interest in other man, he's cute, and single but no plans or motive there.
I would be hurt if I saw h there with another woman which is why this bothers me.
It's why I thought I should just say 'I'm going to the concert with an old school friend, nothing in it, hope if we bump into each other we can say hi'

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 15/05/2013 23:33

I would go in a heartbeat, but then going to gigs with different people isn't an issue for me. I went and stayed in London last week for one with my (male) mate, the week before with my brother, last one before that was with my partner, tomorrow I'm going to one alone. I don't see why it has to be something you torture yourself with.

It's just a gig, and he's just a friend, and it'd be silly to be upset if your ex went out socially with a friend of the opposite sex. You'd be daft to turn down an enjoyable evening just because you're worried about what your ex thinks. Go, enjoy yourself.

Cluffyflump · 15/05/2013 23:41

He (h) has been a shit to you.
You are a kind person and as such, are thinking of his feelings.
Would he show you the same kindness?
No.
This is why he lost out and is now your ex.

He offered to sell you the tickets and is using them instead of giving them to you Shock!

Seriously, go.
Have a great time and please don't waste your time stressing about it.