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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To make formal complaint to school about son in a&e again?

32 replies

Stylelostinlabour · 14/05/2013 21:53

My son has been injuried twice in the last two months by the same boy at school and on both these occassion ended up in a&e for suspected broken bones - now my son is a solid rugby playing 9 year old and hard to move so the force and agression to hurt him must have been something else.

How do I go about making this a more formal complaint - the boy that hurt him has lost a play time but i feel that is a weak punishment or am I over reacting?

OP posts:

apostropheuse · 14/05/2013 21:55

How was he hurt? Was it playing rugby?

Boomba · 14/05/2013 21:56

what happened?

MadamFolly · 14/05/2013 22:00

What happened?

simpson · 14/05/2013 22:02

Need more info....

invicta · 14/05/2013 22:04

The school should have a bullying policy. It maybe worth looking at this. Alternatively, submit a complaint to the head and/ or governors. Two visits to a and e certainly needs investigating.

Smartiepants79 · 14/05/2013 22:08

It very much depends on the circumstances of the incidents. How was he injured. Was it a fight? One sided attack? Part of a game?
What s the context of this? Is it part of an ongoing issue or a isolated problem?

Original poster

Stylelostinlabour · 14/05/2013 22:24

They were playing football and the kid apparently "flipped" and basically spired (rugby term for picking up and slamming down) my son he was covered in mud, suspected broken elbow, sprained arm and very shaken.

I thought it was just boys being rough but the boy from up the road come over with his mum as he was worried about my son and told us what happened, we asked my son and he confirmed.

Raised with teacher who confirmed story after investigation and now I've requested a meeting with head. Last time he basically ran full speed and took my son out while he was standing talking to another boy - school said they suspected broken wrist which was why we went to a&e that time.

Im not one to get annoyed about stuff like this but the fact this child has such stenght and agression worries me.

OP posts:

Boomba · 14/05/2013 22:28

was it contact rugby in primary school?? its normally tag?

if its contact rugby, then no grounds for complaint IMO

Boomba · 14/05/2013 22:29

oh, scuse me...was it football? I know nowt about football, but that sounds like a foul?

Andro · 14/05/2013 22:31

It's a good job (relatively speaking) that his elbow took the brunt of the impact, a spear tackle can be incredibly dangerous and have very nasty consequences (especially if the landing is on the head/face)! I hope your son makes a full recovery.

Two incidents withe same boy would suggest that there is an issue, YANBU to pursue the matter - what action are they taking - have they taken to minimise the risk to your son?

Andro · 14/05/2013 22:32

That ought to be
what action are they taking/have they taken to minimise the risk to your son?

WetDog · 14/05/2013 22:34

YANBU. I would be furious, particularly as he took him out outside the course of play - he was talking to another lad.

BoffinMum · 14/05/2013 22:36

I would actually speak to his parents and politely suggest their son keeps away from my son for the foreseeable or else I would have to escalate.

Original poster

Stylelostinlabour · 14/05/2013 22:38

Sorry the rugby reference was really to suggest my son is built like brick shit house and not easy to lift and drop...

No action apart from him losing lunch play - I'm trying not to get excited about it but so many parents have come to us in the last day or two with stories of this boy, how hes hurt so many, school have a a huge log of issues etc etc - all not relevant to our situation but would suggest he has no boundaries. We only moved them to this school in September so not wanting to make mountain out of mole hill but want my children to be safe

School were so worried about son they nearly called 999 as i didnt pick up my mobile striaght away.

OP posts:

Original poster

Stylelostinlabour · 14/05/2013 22:40

Well would speak to parents but he's in club and mum doesn't pick up til last minute so don't get to see her. Apparently he's super clever but no filter so lots of inappropriate behaviour.

OP posts:

Original poster

Stylelostinlabour · 14/05/2013 22:42

Sorry that sounded judgey just meant that as I pick up from club earlier I don't see her as I have to pickup from nursery after so usually running about like a mad lady

OP posts:

CloudsAndTrees · 14/05/2013 22:51

The school can't officially tell you what they are doing with this boy, but you have a right to ask what they are going to do to protect your son from this type of aggression.

I would make your complaint on the basis that you don't feel they are doing enough to ensure that children don't display aggression on the sports field and to protect children from extreme aggression.

Is this club run by the school or an external organisation?

Boomba · 14/05/2013 22:51

It happened in school, therefore I think you should speak to HT or similar, not directly to the parents

Smartiepants79 · 15/05/2013 20:16

You have a right to know what is being done to deal with him.
Keep calm, don't make too much of what 'other' people have told you, stick to the facts and what your son has said. Remember you can never know the whole story unless you were there.
The incidents are serious and I agree the punishment seems a little lame.
Sounds to me that there may well be underlying issues for this child.

cocolepew · 15/05/2013 20:20

Don't speak to the parents , that can go tits up very quickly. Speak to the HT and log all incidents. He's going to seriously injure someone at this rate.

BlessedDespair · 15/05/2013 22:30

If the school isn't an academy you can complain to the local education authority, which is what I'd do if I was in your position

cory · 15/05/2013 22:33

As Clouds says, you have a right to know what is done to protect your son, if not the details of what is done to punish a boy.

Under similar circumstances (though far less severe) we were told that ds' aggressor would be kept away from other children at lunchtime for a while and that when he returned he would be under close supervision. The school stuck to this and the situation was resolved.

marriedinwhiteagain · 15/05/2013 22:40

I woulld drop a polite line or two in writing. Thank the school for letting you know so quickly and caring for your son but followed by something like:

"I'm a little conncerned that my son has ow visited a ans e on two occasions: date 1 and date 2 due to the behaviour of x which appears to be above and beyond the usual rough and tumble of school lifem. I appreciate this matter is likely to be in hand but would welcome yor assurances that all necessary steps are being taken to ennsure my son's well being and safety in future. I shall be disappointed if there is a third occurrence."

This will probably be very helpful for the school.

Good luck

steppemum · 15/05/2013 22:47

I would deal with school, not other kids parents anyway.

as others have said, you have the right to expect your son to be safe. Even if it was only one incident with your son, but he has hurt other children, they are failing in their safeguarding policy.

Focus on how they are going to keep you son safe.

I would request meeting in writing, keep a copy.
After the meeting ask for conclusion to be sent to you in writing, or else do it your self eg
'after our meeting today, I woudl just like to confirm that the steps being taken are 1.... and 2...
thank you...

If you are not happy with the meeting, immediately put that in writing to the head, cc to chair of governors.

In other words, keep a paper trail.

MulberryJane · 15/05/2013 22:51

YANBU, school should be keeping your DS safe and they are not. Could these 'accidents' have happened at home? No, probably not; therefore you are being perfectly reasonable in making a formal complaint. You should request a meeting with the HT and the parents of this boy to make a plan of the 'next steps'. This boy sounds like he's a danger to himself and others, you'd be doing everyone a favour by taking it further. Violent at 9 years old means violent at 19 years old, unless something changes - you see what I mean here?

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