To want a third dc ?

[ALittleBitOfMagic]

I have an 8yo dd and a 6mo ds . We live in a two bed flat so are cramped as it is and would definitely need to move , but I so want a third child . And soon - within 1-3 years . Am I mad ?

If you have three or more , how did you make the decision ?

composhat our four older boys share a room - not cramped, but still have to share. they love it.

I grew up in communist Hungary and my parents were always going on about not having any money and I have experienced struggling and having to go without things.
I still can't eat bananas without thinking they are a luxury item, we had so few growing up.

I have a sister btw.
And as we grew older things got better and my parents easily could have had another one or 2 from the money POV.

going for another is not crazy, because it doesn't sound like an extra kid would push OP into poverty. no need to be so dramatic and judgey

Yanbu as long as you can meet your dcs needs

I wanted 3, am now pregnant with twins so shall have 4

OP, you say your baby is 6 months so probably weaning. Just wait a few months to let your hormones get back to normal and see how you feel. That's the best advice I got on here when I was in the same situation. My DS is 16 months now and will be 22 months when baby is born. I'm quite excited to see how they will both interact with one another; no one has ever had such a small age gap between children in my family!

This is an interesting article from a mother of 3, about the transition from 2 to 3 children. Read down a bit, and she goes through all the things to take into account. It's the bit about whether you have the time and emotional capacity which is the thing I think people don't consider fully.

I was the eldest who shared with 3 of my siblings,there was a 7yr age gap and I hated it, absolutely hated it.

I think if you will be moving before the third comes along and that you can afford to keep your dcs lives the same then go for it.

I am not being judgey, I can understand the op wanting another child, but think that should be balanced against the quality of life for existing children (including living space and financial needs)

I think that composHat is completely reasonable to give advice based on her own experiences tbh.

at what point will you say enough, ?
Yes i have 4 children but I have the room. Believe me its when they get older you need the space.

Thanks for linking that article, Cake - it was an engaging and useful read! :)

cake - thanks, very good article & more than familiar! PMSL

I'm sure I could top that with what happens after 4th, 5th and 6th, but I can hear DS5 is in the kitchen and I've got to check he's put the washing machine on correctly, he is 3 after all and he should do it if he wants clean clothes!

Brilliant article cake !

We could afford a third now but it would be a bit of a struggle . These are the things that need to happen for it to work .

DH is chasing a much higher paid job just now (think like tradesman going on to teach craft type idea)

Our house is a council house which we are trying to swap (but no one wants due to flat snobbery)

One or the other of those definitely needs to happen I think . If dh gets the new job we can definitely afford to buy a generously sized house . Or if we get a swap theres no need for us to buy so we don't need to save every penny for mortgage deposits

Have I made any sense there I feel I'm rambling because (other then DH) I don't really have anyone in RL to vent all this to .

My friend has 4 in a 2 and half bedroom house and they are amongst the happiest children I know. I have 3 DC but always wanted 4 and have now left it too late.

I am pg with DC3 (DV). DC1 will be 5.4, DC2 2.6.

For us it was simply that there aren't quite enough people round our dining table. It's going to be financially hard for a while but worth it in the long run, we hope.

We started ttc immediately after DC2, fwiw. Just didn't happen for us for a year or so.