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AIBU?

Teen son

16 replies

pinkpaws · 14/05/2013 18:01

My son just turned 13 he lives for his xbox which most boys his age do. He is allowed it untill 9pm on a school night then all screen time stops. No xbox laptop tablet tv ect . I send him to bed with a book to read and settle for sleep. He now informs me that as a teen he should be allowed up untill 10pm at least. ALL his friends do i know i am strict even his teachers tell me how strict at parent interview. But he has good school marks which matter and i dont want to see slip. Is it wrong of me to stand frim on this or am i as he says treating him like a baby. Thoughts please i am tired of this fight .

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hotcrosbum · 14/05/2013 18:02

Stand firm. My son is 11 but heading that way.

1 and a half hours after school, but only because he is top of his class.

But it's lights out at 9 for him.

Mandy2003 · 14/05/2013 18:03

No I think you are being very reasonable. And despite the protests he is listening to you and doing as you ask. Well done - I have a 14 year old and lost this battle a while ago.

What time can he stay up till at weekends?

hotcrosbum · 14/05/2013 18:03

Oh, and 10 is fine for 13. They need sleep.

TidyDancer · 14/05/2013 18:03

Personally I wouldn't allow him on the xbox that late.

I think it sounds like his bedtime is appropriate. He's a child who has only just turned 13, it's not like he's 17 and capable of making some choices for himself.

kotinka · 14/05/2013 18:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkpaws · 14/05/2013 18:11

Thank you mandy2003 he does do as he is told and i think 9pm is fine but i also know he has lots of friends whos parents dont seem to DO bedtime . And i am seen as abit old fashion and out of touch at times. maybe i am but i will continue to pull the the plus at 9pm lol

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pinkpaws · 14/05/2013 18:17

Weekends are another battle at the moment its 1030pm on a sat nite .Which is also to early so i am told but we are up early on a sunday. But again i do know he is right parents are letting the other boys up till all hours. I have said 11pm on sat not friday he is tired after school all week on a friday nite he also has youth club. god i miss the action man days lol

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Dawndonna · 14/05/2013 18:17

Stick with it, sounds sensible to me and as though you are doing well. I too insist screen time stops at nine and we have family time. My youngest are sixteen. They go to bed at ten on a school night with lights off by 10.30. As I said, they're sixteen. What is interesting is that they are known at school for being polite, well behaved and articulate. Must be something to do with the books! Seriously, you've got it right, don't let a 13 year old shake your faith in your ability to parent.

Smartiepants79 · 14/05/2013 18:19

What other parents choose to do is up to them. You know that you are doing what is best for him so stick to your guns.
9 is not very early. Is he allowed up later at weekends as this would be a good compromise.
You might not be popular for a while but ...!

pinkpaws · 14/05/2013 18:22

Weekends are another battle at the moment its 1030pm on a sat nite .Which is also to early so i am told but we are up early on a sunday. But again i do know he is right parents are letting the other boys up till all hours. I have said 11pm on sat not friday he is tired after school all week on a friday nite he also has youth club. god i miss the action man days lol

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BastardDog · 14/05/2013 18:28

My 13 yo ds also lives for his Xbox. I stop him gaming at 8.30. His Xbox is in his bedroom so I ask him to bring the controller downstairs at 8.30. He then watches TV til 9 when screen time stops. He can then read if he wants, but I encourage him to be lights out at 9.30 - 10.

samuelwhiskers · 14/05/2013 19:06

My 13 year old DS has to turn his xbox off at 8.30 school nights and lights out at 9.30pm. I find the xbox such a battle so reassured to read others feel the same. On a saturday I try to get him to by 10.30pm max but constantly struggle as school friends are online much later.

OhLori · 14/05/2013 19:13

Now I know why I decided long ago not to buy my son an X box!

Lay down the law, pinkpaws (nice name)!

IrritatingInfinity · 14/05/2013 19:20

YANBU.

Don't give in ever. They need a reaon to want to leave home. :-)

Madamecastafiore · 14/05/2013 19:21

You are being more than generous. My nearly 13 year old has lights out at 9pm. That's after being allowed to read for 30 minutes.

If he plays his Xbox as soon as he gets in I think that is a bit too long to be playing on a computer game too.

We have kept the computer games downstairs so all they can do in their rooms is read or listen to music so when they go upstairs it's down time.

WhereYouLeftIt · 14/05/2013 20:28

" He now informs me that as a teen he should be allowed up untill 10pm at least."
Ahahahahahahhahahahahahahah!

My DS is now 14½, at just turned 13 he could use his XBox 6pm to 8pm (until 6pm he can get his homework done, read etc., after 8pm the TV is MINE, mwahahaha!)and bedtime was 9pm with lights out at 9.30pm. He only negotiated a 10pm bedtime about a month ago, and XBox is only allowed after 8pm if I am Mumsnetting not using the TV.

Stand firm! You are not treating him like a baby, you are ensuring that his adolescent body gets the sleep it needs. We only grow when we are asleep, apparently; does he want to be a shortarse ? Ignore what other parents do. You're the adult, it's your call.

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