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to think I'm/we're strange 'ignoring' 2nd pregnancy?

19 replies

wonderingifiam2013 · 14/05/2013 13:43

It's early days - just over 6 weeks but known since 4, and we told immediate family after the GP confirmed it.

We have a very active toddler so all our time is taken up there really ... but we've hardly mentioned this pregnancy.

I feel like I won't really believe it's true until our 12 week scan - which I find strange having gone through this before! DH put his hand on my stomach for the first time the other night and got a bit giddy about the little one in there :) but I just keep feeling like it's not true.

Much wanted baby, but petrified that we're going to have a potty training toddler (well I'm hoping a dry toddler by the arrival!) and a new baby. I'm feeling sad Blush I'm going to miss out on partying (Wine Wine Wine !!!) at big birthdays, weddings etc this summer ... but what I'm most scared of is the undiagnosed PND returning as I'm already feeling really down one day, and very high the next.

Is it normal to feel like this with baby #2? Is it my hormones?

Also, we're not telling friends until the 12 week mark and I really hate lying/making up excuses not to go on big boozy nights out already :(

OP posts:

HorryIsUpduffed · 14/05/2013 13:47

Totally normal.

First pregnancy, when asked "how far along?", one replies "16+3 and four hours". Second pregnancy, "Erm, hold on, I had a scan last week so I must be, erm ... It's due in August".

FWIW I completely forgot that my DC2-pgy would result in an actual baby to look after. I was so focused on the effect on DC1 the reality escaped me Blush


wonderingifiam2013 · 14/05/2013 13:50

Thanks HorryIsUpduffed!

Glad I'm not the only one :)

And pleae tell me it all went ok ... and that of course DC2 is much easier Grin

OP posts:

eccentrica · 14/05/2013 14:08

I dunno, I'm in exactly the same boat, currently 6+5 and with a 2 1/2 year old. I go through phases of not really thinking about it, but I am just as anxious as I was with the first. Fewer symptoms though, mainly just the odd bit of nausea, sore boobs and feeling knackered all the time.

I have been telling people (not everyone, but close friends) as just in case anything does go wrong, I want my close friends to know - I have been there to support them when they went through similar things and would not want to keep it a secret if anything bad did happen. I'm sure other people have guessed as I'm not drinking.


OHforDUCKScake · 14/05/2013 14:10

I kept totally forgetting with my second pregnancy, for days then Id remember.

Where as with my first I thought about nothing else the whole time.


olivertheoctopus · 14/05/2013 14:11

Normal. It is SUCH a different experience when not your PFB. You just kind of get on with it and the 'what's happening each week of my pregnancy' book gathers dust whilst you chase round after your existing DC/DCs. In fact it made me feel a bit embarrassed about how precious i was during my 1st pregnancy. You just suck it up next time round! And I am speaking from the perspective of someone expecting DS3 in 9 weeks!


HorryIsUpduffed · 14/05/2013 14:16

Er, yes, DC2 is much easier. Actually, he genuinely was as a little baby, partly because I knew what to do with him so was more confident.

I'm 15+ with DC3 so it must have been ok Grin


ChunkyPickle · 14/05/2013 14:18

I think it's normal - I'm even worse than you - we didn't tell anyone till after the 20 week scan, so we could get all the news out in one go and not be interrogated every time we spoke to someone.

I also have a 2 and a half year old - perhaps it's just that it's (to me at least) the most intense time of my child rearing so far, having a little questioning, demanding, opinionated human being to look after rather than the more routine drudgery of babyhood.


Splatt34 · 14/05/2013 14:19

DC2 is due on Saturday. I am still in slight denial. was re reading about breast feeding tips last night & just got myself in a real flap about it being a "full time occupation" & the effect that will have on my amazing, funny, gorgeous, loving DD1.


Xroads · 14/05/2013 14:23

I had pnd with dd1, I too was scared it would return with dd2 but it didn't and I was much happier so try and be positive Smile


Fuckwittery · 14/05/2013 14:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fakebook · 14/05/2013 14:29

I didn't ignore my second pregnancy because it was a much wanted baby after 2.5 years trying.

I'm ignoring my third pregnancy though, even though we've had 5 early scans. It's not as exciting as the first two times.


whatsmyshibboleth · 14/05/2013 14:41

Perfectly normal, I'm 36+4 and it's my first day of maternity leave. With PFB I was reading the books, buying the clothes, decorating the nursery, worrying about all that could possibly go wrong etc etc. This time I've done nothing. I'm hoping it will all come back to me and all the crap (steriliser, carseat, moses basket and all that) that I've buried somewhere in the house will magically be found when I need it.

I also find that nobody else is particularly interested in talking about it either, just the occasional how long left or do you have a name yet (usually accompanied by suggestions, grrr). 6 weeks is very early anyway but there is definitely less excitement this time round. I was suffering from anxiety and depression before Ds (22m) was born and although I got help and it hasn't returned, it is still a worry in the back of my mind. Hope all goes well and make sure if you start to feel down go and see your GP.


ruledbyheart · 14/05/2013 15:11

I'm 26 weeks with DC4 completely unprepared and until I see myself in the mirror or feel her kick I forget I'm pregnant as I'm so preoccupied with 3 toddlers running around, its completely normal


oscarwilde · 14/05/2013 15:34

three toddlers ..... faints


Hugglepuff · 14/05/2013 18:03

Totally normal - 18 months between our two. 2nd pregnancy never had any idea how many weeks along I was. Also far less anxious in second pregnancy - far too busy rolling around in ball pits at Kid's Kingdom at 8 and a half months pregnant !


WhispersOfWickedness · 14/05/2013 18:09

Completely normal Smile The only reason I remembered I was pregnant at all was because I felt shocking throughout the whole thing Hmm


Gobbolinothewitchscat · 14/05/2013 18:44

Very relieved to find this thread. Am currently 5+3 with very surprise BFP. Have a 5 month old DS and have to. Keep reminding myself I'm pregnant. Everytime I get a wave if exhaustion, I automatically out it down to the 4:30am night feed that DS has (can't complain as he goes to bed at 7).

I googled obsessively when pregnant with him and now I'm too scared to as I'm terrified to read horror stories about tiny age gaps. I probably only remember I'm pregnant about once a day when I take my folic acid.

When I found out, I did have 6 days of obsessive pee stick action but I think that was because I was so shocked. Am treating myself to a clear blue digital this week to check the conception indicator has moved on though Grin


RedlipsAndSlippers · 14/05/2013 18:51

I'm exactly the same, this baby was planned and is very much wanted, but with a four year old DD and full time work, I've just not paid that much attention this time. I was so focused on being preg with the first one it was like nothing else existed!
I was feeling a bit bad about this recently, thinking maybe something was wrong with me, but this has made me feel much better :)


HorryIsUpduffed · 14/05/2013 19:02

I may have taken eight tests with DC2 and, erm, twenty with current pgy. Good thing they were cheapies, three for 89p.

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