DH thinks I might get arrested for what I really want to say to the man...

[ILikeBigBumpsAndICannotLie]

...who sold me a kitchen. I am enraged, and I think the only way of dealing with this is to submit my first post to mumsnet as a new thread in AIBU.

We have saved for a kitchen for a very long time now, and now that we are finally pregnant, we have bought it. It replaces a dangerous, badly fitted, electrically unsafe, cheap and horrible predecessor, has enough space for my first ever dishwasher and an oven that the door will close on. I did a lot of research, and went with the company who assured me they could overcome the variety of obstacles that exist, and have it completed in two weeks. I fell for the sales schmooze, was dutifully upsold to, spent more than I wanted when I went into the shop, but was very excited about the (relative) magnificence that awaited me.

I'm into week 5 of the fitting now. There is at least one more week's work to be done, and the (two very lovely) kitchen fitters can best be described today as invisible. At 12 o'clock today I went to the showroom to ask where they were to be told one of them has hurt their back and they can't tell me when it will be finished. I was bundled out of the shop with assurances that the salesman would come and see me tonight when my husband is also home to discuss it.

I am beyond angry that someone I have spent a fortune with has given me the bums rush out of the shop, fuming that nobody could be bothered to phone over the weekend or this morning to say there was a problem, enraged that nobody has acknowledged that my time may have a value to it for the delays, and cross as two sticks that being as it is Monday and neither of the two fitters have shown up it would be stupid of me to believe that one is off sick now, when actually the chances are they are off on another job now.

My DH thinks we probably shouldn't hand them an invoice for my wasted time for the over-run, and the hours I've spent waiting in today. He also believes an amicable chat this evening should get us back on track, and that I should definitely have something to eat before the salesman comes around. I think a six month pregnant rant where I say exactly what is on my mind is whats called for. Can anyone please help me with an appropriately reasonable set of statements that will communicate my displeasure and get my kitchen finished this week.

They are taking utter piss, I had my entire house rewired, entire central heating system & boiler replaced, including rerouting gas etc in less than 2 weeks.

I would sit my pregnant ass down in their shop and tell them I'll wait until they can find another fitter to come. Smile, be polite, insist on staying and get comfortable. I would bet It takes the salesman 20 minutes or 2 potential customers - whichever come first - to crack. Don't say anything to potential customers but smile and look like you really want to chat or about to say something. It will make the sales guy extremely nervous, it may get potential customers to initiate a conversation with you first. But you can't be accused of harassing anyone, preventing them of doing business, etc

I suggest crying - nothing like a pregnant crying woman to sort it out.

Sorry presswd send to soon.

So when the chap is there really lay it on about how upset you are in a nice but visibly upset way - then crescendo as you talk about how hard it is with the work going on and how hard it is being pregnant and how worried you are - by now you should be welling up before sobbing somewhat and looking utterly miserable. Ime they really feel compelled to help you.