AIBU to kill DH? Kill him good and proper...

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

He is, apparently, blameless. Free of any wrongdoing. Never at fault. Here are two examples:

1. Last week, we went to Legoland for sunday and monday. On saturday night, I let our 8 month old kitten out at about 10pm then I went to bed. Before I went to bed, I said to DH "Don't forget the cat is outside." We don't have a flap installedyet, the cat meows to come in. Anyway, I wake up the next morning and realise soon enough that moggy isn't in. I say to DH "Did you let the cat in last night?" He says "You didn't tell me to" I did say he was outside. I wasn't telling you as an information service on the cat's whereabouts. It gets to half an hour before we're due to leave and I can't get the cat in. "This is your fault!" I hiss at DH. He says "Don't blame ME"

1. Today, I put aload of DS's washing in, including school uniform. I ask DH to get it out and dry it on radiators whilst I take DS to a party. I get back and DH says "There was some tissue in the wash. It's all got stuck to DS's trousers" I say "Oh ok." assuming that he would have had the sense to wash them again. But no. They are drying on the upstairs radiators, with tissue paper all hardening on them. I need them for tomorrow. You think he'd have stuck them in again on a quick cycle? No. I say "Right... I'LL wash them again or else DS has no school trousers." He says "Don't blame ME" Well, actually, YOU took them out and saw that they were plastered in tissue. Use your fucking brain.

"Don't Blame Me"

Well who am I gonna Blame. Your fartin socks already killed the cleaning fairy.

toadinthehole

Umm no I don't actually, I treat everything fairly in my household, in fact I do all the housework, and my dp does alot (but not all) of the cooking. But again I don't expect him to do the cooking, I always ask him nicely who's cooking and what shall we have.

But thanks for the attack!

"1. You should have got the cat in yourself. Why didn't you? Had your leg dropped off?

1. The tissue in the pocket was your fault"

1. The cat was still outside doing his business when I went up to bed.

1. I did NOT find any tissue in the pockets when I searched them, if you read carefully.

InkleWinkle, sorry I must have missed all of the actual, serious threads about MNers killing their husbands over trivial matters.

Lj, I am with you.

You've washed his things. The right response would have been "Cheers for washing my stuff, Lj. Anything I can do?" Not instructions on how best to dry his clothes.

Cats are much safer locked in at night, most cats that get run over get run over at night, it is also when they are most likely to kill wildlife, why wouldn't you lock the cat in at night.

YABU

I would never have let my cat out at 10pm and gone to bed. My cat is in well before dark.

I wouldn't have rewashed something with a tissue on, I would have waited until it was dry and shaken it then lint rolled it.

I do lock the cat in at night! I let him out for the toilet at about 10pm and fetch him back in about quarter of an hour later.

I obviously do lock him in or else I wouldn't be pissed off that DH hadn't got him back in.

You're all assuming that EVERYONE owns a frigging lint roller. Everyone does not own a lint roller.

Thank you marmalade, glad I'm not the only one that realises we arnt living in the 50s!

Before I get a thrashing about the 50s comment, I used that era as a reference to "somewhere that's green" in little shop of horrors.

I sympathise. DH moves things constantly. Only my things. Not his. Not DSs. Mine.

I will leave a book on the sofa because that is where I like to read my book.

He will move it.

'Where is my book?'
'I haven't seen it.' ALWAYS 'I haven't seen it.' Well yes you HAVE seen it because it's the same book I've been reading all fucking week, I've been holding it every time you've waffled on at me about work/the wonky streetlight outside/your annoying colleague. You took it off DS when he was trying to hit the cat yesterday. YOU HAVE DEFINITELY SEEN THIS BOOK. And not only have you SEEN it you have MOVED it.

Every. Fucking. Day. He moves. SOMETHING then denies it.

AAAARRRRGGGHHH

Sorry, that wasn't really relevant, but it was cathartic!

You should nuke him from orbit -it's the only way to be sure.

My DH did this once with the dog. I let her out, let him know and toddled off to bed, only to be woken at two in the morning with one hysterical doglet screaming in the garden.

He didn't realise he had to let her in again, so he said. Is she a frigging guard dog now? I spat asked nicely. Should we just shove her little whippet arse outside in the evenings in case someone breaks into the garden? Hmm? HMM?

Ivor.

LOL also at "nuke him from orbit"

YANBU - the bastard deserves to die. This goes wayyyyyy beyond LTB.

How does nuking from obit work exactly ... Just interested you understand, no reason for my asking

Mine bought me 4 individual puddings (I've had my teeth out and can't eat proper food very well) and only one individual pot of custard.

What the FUCK was he thinking about?

Was he thinking about his beach body?

I always need to give intricate detail or I just get "I don't know".

On my way home from work going past the shop. He's at home:
"Do we need milk"
"I don't know"

pause

"Can you go to the fridge, open it, look inside, find the milk bottle and see how much is in it? Then can you tell me how much is in it and clearly I will have to decide if we need more".

This happens with absolutely everything. Ask a question to which I hope he'd have a look because he's nearer / within range to see, just get "I don't know".

"What time is it"
"I don't know"
"Please can you look at your watch and tell me where the big hand and little hand is". (I don't have a watch at the mo - it broke).

FFS

Sorry for derail but like IvorHughJarse I hugely sympathise Op.

It's not derailing. We're supporting one another.

It clearly wasn't his intellect that attracted you, eh pippin?

pfffft at beach body.

I have delayed rage at something that DH did WEEKS ago.
I had bought some brand new huge D cell batteries for one of DS' pieces of baby equipment.
DH put some in a torch to see if it worked. It didn't. So he PUT THE TORCH BACK IN THE CUPBOARD with the brand new fully juiced batteries in it, knowing the fucking torch was broken.
I cleaned the cupboard out, tested the torch, assumed the batteries were dead and binned them.
WHY didn't he just take the fucking batteries out again and bin the broken torch?
WHY did he put it back in the cupboard??
Rage rage rage!! Brand new batteries in the bastard bin. I could have just burned my cash in the garden.

Last week was school photos for DS1 & 2 - I heard the night before from another Mum that DD (baby) could maybe be in the pic too. I asked DH when he was doing school drop off if he could ask if this was ok. I laid out a beautiful outfit for DD and kept her in her breakfast scruffies so she didn't get it dirty. He KNEW this - I showed him the outfit.

Can you guess whats coming next?

Yes - he took DD with her brothers into the school for drop off (she loves the walk) and they had the picture done there and then, her in her scruffy clothes, covered in breakfast with mismatched hair clips and a snotty nose.

The most galling part is that we live within spitting distance of the school - if he's just called me to say the pic was happening now, I could have been there in - oh - 30 seconds?

OH THE RAGE!

WaspSlayer is winning in the gormless husband stakes. Keep 'em coming. Any gormless wives too, men MNers. Don't want to be accused of man-hating.

Yes, definite death penalty.

I get 'where's the keys? butter, coat, wallet, fucking dog, kids anything...before he's even cast an eye around the place, drives me mad!!

Am thinking about orbital nuking now.