to be jealous of DH?

[elQuintoConyo]

So, this morning we went to the beach, just to play in the sand, very much a last-minute idea.

Just as we're packing up DS's bucket and spade and random crap DH pipes up with, "do you know where my togs are?"

AIBU to be jealous that he can just jump into his swimmers straight from winter whereas I'd have to spend at least 2 hours de-hairing? (Or 3 days in advance of bikini-wearing as I go very red for days after).

So, there I sat, jeans and a t-shirt, feeling like an absolute idiot, "DH, can you go with DS to get a bucket of water? I'll get my jeans wet".

Last night I had a dream where I was wandering about with my yeti-legs and no one battered an eyelash. Mind you, naked DH was also there with a crocodile, so I can't rely on them.

AIBU?

(Or Should I be posting in S&B or Feminism?)

[hermioneweasley]

OP, I bet it's not as bad as you think. Just go and join in next time. The reality is you don't know what others are thinking, and do you really care what someone who woukd judge a stranger who is having a lovely time with her kids, but has hairy legs, do you care what someone that judgey and shallow thinks?

[FreddieMisaGREATshag]

I have, like LEM, been known to jump in with the kids in my bra and bridget jones when the kids were smaller and I was brave enough for the cold water. I am anything but slimline.


Nobody died of shock that I noticed. My hairy legs pits and bits were not commented on that I was aware of.

[BrianButterfield]

I have pale skin and dark body hair. I waft an epilator over my pits once a week or so and do my legs when I remember. Shaving is a disaster for me. I rarely go bare-legged because it's not my style but I would epilate the night before if so. I do it while mning on my tablet so not arduous. Nobody has ever recoiled in horror.

[Saidar]

"I'm sure that all of you incredibly lucky ladies who would strip off without thinking are blessed with minimal/blonde hair."

Nope, I am rather furry. Dark hair too, on pale skin. I do shave but there are occasions where I forget, went swimming with hairy legs, no one gasped or ran screaming. Just hair, unless they're dropping pubes onto your ice cream I doubt you'd give someone elses body hair a second thought at the beach.

[OneFingerSjupesUpTheYoni]

I have a friend with pale skin/thick black hair combo and it is shockingly obvious if it's even been a day or two since she shaved it's a wee shame - we're all used to it but some women can be judgemental dicks about it and she gets self conscious.

I have pure blonde hairs but for sone reason they grow straight out of my legs like wee jaggys i like to shave even just to the knee before baring flesh too to protect people from my stabby legs

If i was in your shoes op i'd be jealous of your dh too!

[CoalDustWoman]

Why "shockingly"? Are you shocked by men who have a 5 o'clock shadow?

[Binkybix]

I used to feel that I needed to freshly shave legs before swimming. Now I'm pregnant it's more effort so I've relaxed my standards a lot. I don't think anyone's noticed. If they have, it's their own fault for looking that closely! I'd struggle to show pubes unselfconsciously though.

[Mrsrobertduvall]

I am hair free as I have been lasered, but you wouldn't catch me in the sea at all

[SkaterGrrrrl]

Can't decide if its tragic or ridiculous that you can't enjoy the water and beach with your family because of a bit of body hair. Obey some rule about an unobtainable standard of beauty/grooming or run whooping joyfully into the sea? Screw the rule. Come on in, the waters fine.

[cory]

My doctor suggested that shaving my armpits is the most likely cause of the armpit cysts I have been having for the last 18 months (numerous bouts of antibiotics, one operation under a GA, months of pain and still not in the clear). No idea if he's right, but if so, that would be a good argument for the yeti approach. There is nothing at all attractive about large red swellings leaking pus as you move.

[VenusRising]

Why doesn't your DH know where his blinking togs are - now that IS a thread for the feminist section!

[AngryFeet]

You need to start waxing. Once every 5 weeks. After a few years the hairs start getting finer and sparser. Honestly I am the same as you but after 10 years the hair on my lower legs is dead so they hardly have to do anything on that bit. The bikini line that used to reach my knees is a normal level and the worst bit at the back of my thighs is getting finer and finer. It isn't massively expensive (unless you have a brazilian like I do which adds £25 to the cost ). It is so worth it.

[WorraLiberty]

How silly some people are being just because the DH didn't know where his 'togs' were.

When we go to the beach with the kids we've got all sorts of bags with things shoved in them, if my DH packs them how would I know which bags they were in?

I could spend a few minutes rummaging through them all, or I could errr....just ask him

[crashdoll]

Exactly Worra. I assume these people have never lost anything and asked their partner where it is!

[elQuintoConyo]

Holy cow, didn't think it'd turn into a DH-bashing thread! Conyo, indeed! We've recently moved, change if season/wardrobe and things are all over the bloody place. MrElQuintoConyo has been working flat out to support us (am sahm) through the move and may be forgiven for not keeping his finger on the pulse of his fucking togs. I asked him if he knew where my phone charger was yesterday, so shoot me.

Ok... so, very pale, very noticeably hairy, very painful to shave every day, no money for laser.

I only wanted to know if it was unreasonable to be 'jealous'. I don't have the balls to splash my furry way into the sea, although I do have the balls to stick two fingers up at a lot of other things.

I have now broken my 'First AIBU' virginity

[WorraLiberty]

crashdoll, it just makes me think that their DH's are totally dependent on them and they assume everyone else's are the same. Otherwise they'd probably just see it as a normal question that either sex would ask.

[Saidar]

And you came out of it relatively unscathed elQuinto.

I lost my bank card again last week, I asked DP if he knew where it was, he's a SAHD so tends to know where things have ended up if he'd done a tidy.

Perhaps you and your husband would like to join me for my public shaming, you can repent for the phone charger and your DP his togs. Swimwear optional of course.

[Startail]

I don't worry on the beach in the UK, sun just has to be grabbed. I do try to defur for the lkcal pool incase I meet someone I know.

I think my very furry DH gets faintly self con conscious in Majorca where the blokes seem to remove their body hair, but he wouldn't admit it. No way is he shaving, or waxing it would be like sharing a bed with a hedgehog when it grew back.

[Startail]

how does my kindle do that to local?

[OneFingerSjupesUpTheYoni]

Shockingly because i can see her on say, tuesday evening and again wednesday lunch and 'boom' she's covered again.

It's not a bad thing just used to make us go crikey o'riley at the speed of her hairs growth.

[foreverondiet]

YABU for three reasons:

A) takes 5 mins in the shower with razor.

B) I have a homedics (IPL) and am beach ready now at any time - so if its important to you (not being seen hair free, deal with it in permanent way and

C) AND nothing bad would have happened if you put on an old t-shirt and old shorts and gone swimming in these, hair and all.

FWIW I have white skin and dark hair. Perhaps I wouldn't want anyone to see hairy arm pits or bikini line - but hair on legs not so bad and that really would take 2 mins in shower (and then wear shorts and t-shirt)

[WafflyVersatile]

cory

completely off topic. I know someone who used to get armpit cysts. For her it turned out to be anti-perspirant, or the perfume in it. Either way she doesn't use it or perfume any more and doesn't get cysts any more.

foreverondiet

Is that a home IPL system? How effective was it? How many sessions?

[amazingface]

If you're very pale with thick black hairs, I really disagree that you should be shaving all the time. Shaving is shit for this hair/body type. One ends up with giant and very noticeable hair follicles and what looks like perma-stubble. Any kind of fake tan just sits in the follicles and darkens.

Waxing is much much better. Over the years the re growth lessens and is much softer. I do my lower legs and bikini every few weeks with strips and do upper thighs on a need-to basis. Op yanbu to envy your DH, It's all such a bloody nuisance. Next time just run in, though, no one will be looking.

[Pigsmummy]

I just epilate all year around, have bugger all leg hair left really and I take a lady razor to the growler in the shower. I could hit the beach now I wanted (if dressing gowns are acceptable out there as not dressed yet).

Try an epilator or frequent waxes rather than putting it off to make it a big deal.