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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to expect the buyer to pay the cost of my traveling to meet him half way?

80 replies

WeAreEternal · 12/05/2013 14:01

I sold something online, the buyer asked me if I'd meet him half way, I agreed, then realised he lived 5 hours away.

He has asked me to meet him two hours away, it will cost me about £50 to get there.
I told he this and he said "ok it will cost me about the same to get there too."

After several messages I figured out that he was under the impression that I would be coving the cost to get to the meeting city.
I told him that I would like him to send the £50 before I go and he said that he expected me to cover the cost from the money he is paying for the item he is buying. I said no and he has been really rude since.

I'm supposed to be going to meet him tomorrow, but I have said that I expect him to cover the cost of my traveling or I won't be coming.

AIBU?

OP posts:

FannyFifer · 12/05/2013 14:03

You agreed to meet him before you realised the distance.

Not his fault so you should honour agreement.

HollyBerryBush · 12/05/2013 14:03

Did you sell it as collection only?

His problem to collect it.

If you sold it as 'will deliver' - you should have factored in the costs.

Cancel the auction.

Sirzy · 12/05/2013 14:04

You should have checked the distance and come to some sort of arrangement before agreeing to meet him half way.

NoSquirrels · 12/05/2013 14:05

He paid the cost for the item itself, delivery costs are extra.

(Unless you stated that you'd deliver free of charge).

WorraLiberty · 12/05/2013 14:05

I'd apologise and tell him it was a misunderstanding, and you're not prepared to do it.

But if I were the buyer, no way would I send someone £50 for petrol if I didn't know them.

Tryharder · 12/05/2013 14:05

The buyer is being unreasonable and unrealistic.

Although, i cannot see personally how it would cost you £50 to drive 2 hours or even go that distance on public transport.

This is why we have couriers surely??

Glitterkitten24 · 12/05/2013 14:05

What on earth are you selling? Surely if its going to cost £100 (I.e. £50 each for you and buyer) a courier service or postal service could be employed cheaper than this?

Yanbu to expect the buyer to pay, but possibly could have avoided the agro by clarifying this before agreeing you would travel.

Earlybird · 12/05/2013 14:05

How much profit will you be making on the item? If a lot, then travel and pay. If a little, ask for reimbursement or get him to come to you. Sort it upfront though.

Or consider selling the item to someone else. Would it be fairly simple / straightforward to sell it to someone else who could come collect it?

Original poster

WeAreEternal · 12/05/2013 14:25

The item was advertised as cash on collection preferred but I would have happily posted if the buyer paid through PayPal.

The buyer asked to collect, but then said it was too far for him to cycle so would I be willing to meet him half way (which I why I didn't think it would be too far).
As soon as I realised how far it was I told him that I would expect him to cover my travel costs, but be didn't say anything, in a later message I told him how much it would cost me and he sent the above reply.

When I later realised that he thought I was paying my travel costs I challenged him about it.

The item is a pair of festival tickets.
I am selling them for face value, I'm not able to go for personal reasons but I'm not interested in selling them for a profit, I just want to get back the money I paid.
So I will be making no profit on the sale at all.

I have told the buyer that I can post the tickets, but he want to do the sale face to face.

OP posts:

Original poster

WeAreEternal · 12/05/2013 14:25

Oh and he has no paid.

OP posts:

Lj8893 · 12/05/2013 14:28

Tell him he can pay via PayPal and you will be happy to post to him.

Or he can pay cash on collection, and he comes to you.

Or he can pay your travel expenses

Or you will have to withdraw the sale and sell to someone else

poopnscoop · 12/05/2013 14:29

Tell him they're cost price, it's postage (which he pays), collection or nothing.

Hissy · 12/05/2013 14:30

Don't do a thing until he has paid for them. Paypal only.

Send them special delivery signed for.

If he doesn't do this, cancel the sale and relist them.

poopnscoop · 12/05/2013 14:31

'I have told the buyer that I can post the tickets, but he want to do the sale face to face.'

Why??? Sounds dodgy to me.

Give him a time limit to send pay and postage cost/collect... then cancel auction and re-auction. Keep all correspondence in case he files a claim.

HollyBerryBush · 12/05/2013 14:33

Nope! he has to pay via paypal and you have to send registered - otherwise you have absolutely no protection whatsoever.

Cancel the auction as a non payer

Iggi101 · 12/05/2013 14:40

He must be unable to use paypal. Which is dodgy in itself surely. No-one in their right mind would drive 2 hours with something the size of a ticket. Maybe the golden ticket to Willy Wonka's factory
Cancel sale. You are being honourable in not trying to make a profit - why give up your time and petrol for this eejit.

Footface · 12/05/2013 14:40

If he takes them face to face, he might say he'd not received them and get PayPal to give him the money back

IrritatingInfinity · 12/05/2013 14:52

I would ask him if you can mutually cancel the transaction. It is clearly ridiculous to consider meeting half way even if he paid your travel expenses.

Then I would relist them for local cash on collection (NOT PayPal)

Furoose is very informative and knows what she is talking about. I think she checks the EBay threads regularly. You could post on there and hope she sees.

Alternatively, you could post on the EBay thread on MoneySavingExpert.

diddl · 12/05/2013 14:58

If he hasn't paid I'd do nothing.

Was it a "buy immediately"?-was there much other interest?

Could you re-list & factor in the cost of sending them by registered post?

schoolgovernor · 12/05/2013 15:03

Whatever you do, don't leave him any opportunity to lie and claim non-delivery of goods after he's got the tickets and paid cash.
Personally I'd cancel the transaction and stuff the bad feedback he might give.

Next time just factor in the cost of tracked delivery.

Original poster

WeAreEternal · 12/05/2013 15:32

I did say on my advert that I was happy to post but would only post recorded delivery at a cost of £7. But that I would prefer cash on collection.
I know never to accept PayPal for a collection item.

I will send the buyer a message as advised.

OP posts:

bamboostalks · 12/05/2013 15:34

Forget this buyer and relist.

Coconutty · 12/05/2013 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou · 12/05/2013 15:39

He is either a lunatic, a crook or a murderer. Nobody drives that far for something that can be posted. I thought it was going to be an umbrella stand or double bass or something. You can post next day signed for for about £1.50.

phantomnamechanger · 12/05/2013 15:42

It's tickets that are dead easy to post, and he'd rather you both had to travel long distances at some expense? You have to travel, give up all that time, trust that he WILL in fact be there when you get there? he expects all this of you and yet wont pay? (having blatantly misled you with the "too far to cycle" line!)

something very odd here, bordering on sinister and creepy in fact (it makes no SENSE) - avoid him and relist!

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