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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To still feel upset and a bit confused about this incident?

79 replies

Flossyfloof · 11/05/2013 23:52

Went out for a meal with some acquaintances the other night. Had a nice time and got to know one or two new people. Whilst I was talking to one woman, someone's Mum, in the middle of a conversation she said to me "You're a bitch!". I genuinely had/have no idea where that came from. I didn't want any confrontation and didn't respond at all. Later on, when she was saying goodbye to her daughter, I was right next to her and she said, very loudly "She's a bitch!". I still don't know what I might have said to offend and honestly don't think I said anything. This lady lives some way away but I live close to her daughter. I want to text the daughter to ask what I have done. I don't want to fall out with anyone but I have now been bothered about this for a few days, can't seem to let it go. I would really like to ask what I did and to explain that I think this woman perhaps misunderstood or misinterpreted something I said. I loathe the word bitch and am probably reacting more because of this word than if she had used another one. Please talk me through this!

OP posts:

YesIamYourSisterInLaw · 11/05/2013 23:53

Yanbu and now I'm dying to know too

FannyFifer · 11/05/2013 23:53

What? Why did you not say something? Did no one else say anything? How odd.

RiotsNotDiets · 11/05/2013 23:55

I don't think texting is a good idea. Maybe bring it up next time you see her?

ajandjjmum · 11/05/2013 23:56

If I were you Flossy I would talk to the daughter, not text, and just say you are a bit bemused, and wonder if she could shed any light on the comments.

I'm sure you're not!

VanitasVanitatum · 11/05/2013 23:56

I would definitely want to have a conversation with this woman, what can she possibly be thinking;if she doesn't like you why was she chatting away to you? If you don't ask it will probably stay on your mind.

Snazzynewyear · 11/05/2013 23:57

I'm not clear on who exactly these people are to you - had you ever met this woman before? I would ask the daughter but not by saying 'what have I done', as that presumes you've done something. I would say something like, 'This probably seems a bit weird, but I couldn't understand why your mother called me a bitch at he meal the other week. What's behind that?' Do that in person, though, not by text. This stuff never works well if not done face to face.

AgentZigzag · 11/05/2013 23:57

Could you contact the daughter asking whether her mum's OK because she was saying some bizarre things to you?

If she didn't say what she was on about don't be worrying about it, what can you do about something you know nothing about?

Fuck all.

Original poster

Flossyfloof · 11/05/2013 23:57

I didn't say anything because I was so taken aback I suppose and whilst I didn't like her saying it first time I didn't want to cause any unpleasantness (OK for her to say that to me though!!). When she said it the second time only I and her daughter was there, she was saying goodbye to her daughter and that's when she said it. I think I was a bit shocked to be honest. This happened on Thursday and I am still going over it in my head and it is getting me down, both the incident and the fact that I am still worrying about it.

OP posts:

Boomba · 11/05/2013 23:58

How did you not ask her at the time?!

WorraLiberty · 11/05/2013 23:58

Sorry but how can anyone 'talk you through' it?

"You're a bitch" (x2) and you didn't raise an eyebrow and ask the woman why?

Fair enough if you're shy, but I don't know what you want from this thread IYSWIM?

Original poster

Flossyfloof · 11/05/2013 23:59

Ok I definitely won't text. Never met the Mum before and don't know the daughter very well but she seems very sweet-natured. There is certainly no problem between me and the daughter (Don't think there is anyway!!).

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 12/05/2013 00:00

How did her daughter react when she said it OP?

LeaveTheBastid · 12/05/2013 00:00

How old is she? Did her daughter not say anything if she was there the second time she said it?

AgentZigzag · 12/05/2013 00:01

And the others there the first time she said it?

lisad123everybodydancenow · 12/05/2013 00:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iloveshortshorts · 12/05/2013 00:04

I cant believe you just stood there when someone called you a bitch, even if you're shy wouldnt you just ask them why they saying that to you.

TigOldBitties · 12/05/2013 00:04

Is she elderly? Was it possibly in a jokey way? What did the daughter do or say when her mother called you a bitch?

MorrisZapp · 12/05/2013 00:05

Somebody in your party in a restaurant called you a bitch, and nobody said anything? This is just weird.

Original poster

Flossyfloof · 12/05/2013 00:05

I don't know the daughter that well can't think of anything I can possibly have said/done to upset her. She may have been overheard the first time, I am not sure, haven't seen the people who were around since then. Second time daughter cannot fail to have heard it. It was late, I wanted to get home and I just didn't want any more nastiness. Bloody upset now, though, because I can't see any justification for her saying this. I didn't know whether I was making a mountain out of a molehill.

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 12/05/2013 00:06

Laying it on the OP a bit there lisad?

What's it got to do with the mum if that was the case?

iloveshortshorts · 12/05/2013 00:06

What did her daughter say?

AgentZigzag · 12/05/2013 00:07

But what did the daughter do when her mum was being so nasty to you Flossy?

BegoniaBampot · 12/05/2013 00:07

maybe she has some kind of illness like dementis or something.

Original poster

Flossyfloof · 12/05/2013 00:08

I would not have made a fuss in the restaurant because I just wouldn't. In other situations I would stand up for myself but in this situation I was a bit shocked and I didn't want to make things worse. Asking why she thought I was a bitch would maybe have set up a confrontation which I wouldn't cope well with and spoil the evening for me as well as everyone else.

OP posts:

Lexiesinclair · 12/05/2013 01:16

No she set up the confrontation by calling you a bitch.
But I would try and let it go now - you didn't respond at the time, so what is the point in speculating...?

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