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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be in a rage about this situation?

39 replies

MortifiedAdams · 11/05/2013 13:15

DH has decided to help his family with a house move today. We have 18mo dd and I leave for work at two. His 'plan' was for me to drop dd off at where he is, before I go to work, and a family.member there will mind her.

My idea was to ask my parents to mind her in the few hours.between me leaving for work.and him returning.

Yesterday he told me that he would be two hours total (that it was just a few heavy things), so would be back before I have to leave for work. Therefore I have not arranged anything with my folks. He messaged me earlier to say it will be a whole day thing, so can I bring dd there.

Putting aside the fact that a house move is not the right place to have a toddler, that one of his family.members will.mind her (therefore making the fact that he is there.pointless as will be same amount of people), our car seat isnt in the car and is a bitch to fit (ERF) - our car is down the street to will.need to take dd with me to fit it - in her buggy in the rain while I heave the carseat.

Ive tried calling my parents - no answer - ive tried calling dh - no answer. DD is getting ratty and needs a sleep.

Oh, and dh will ave to go back.and help.tomorrow too.

So why the hell doesnt he just come.home.now?! If he is back there tomorrow, make that the long day (im.off) and come.home now instead of all this bloody hassle.

OP posts:

Saddayinspring2 · 11/05/2013 13:50

Not ideal, toddlers do need to be watched depending on the amt of disruption and state of house but you know that better than us.
Just annoying when you try to sort stuff out, no one listens then it goes wrong!

thebody · 11/05/2013 13:56

How can a car sear be as heavy as a motorbike? I take your word for it but how mental is that?

Someone made a good point up thread couldn't the babysitter come to you?

RooneyMara · 11/05/2013 14:03

No it isn't as heavy as the bike but the point is, I could lift the bike using the right technique but the car seat I could NOT lift by myself because it weighs about a ton and is the wrong shape to carry.

If that makes sense. I'm really strong generally but was floored by a Recaro Polaric

RooneyMara · 11/05/2013 14:05

Plus the bike only needed lifting up from fallen over - not lifting up in the air to transport...that's why they invented wheels I guess

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 11/05/2013 14:10

I wouldn't have a toddler at a house move as they get into everything, tantrum and generally want to run about. I wouldn't think it would be safe with heavy lifting going on and her able to get under peoples feet.

YANBU to be annoyed about that.

Original poster

MortifiedAdams · 11/05/2013 14:16

And its not just the seat - its hauling the carseat whilst pushing dd in tge buggy to the car.

OP posts:

thebody · 11/05/2013 14:24

Yes understand, it does sound like a pain in the arse.

Can the babysitter come to you though?

WorraLiberty · 11/05/2013 14:37

Why do you have to push her in a buggy to the car?

Can't you just carry her, pop her on the seat and chat to her while you're fitting the car seat?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 11/05/2013 14:41

YABU. So you have to walk down the street a bit....many people have to travel miles daily with NO car AND a toddler or more.

lljkk · 11/05/2013 14:49

But I thought it was like a 30 second job to move ERF seats from one car to another. I can find 15 posts on MN from rabid ERF-proponents saying as much.

Does sound like a miscommunication gaff, though, yanbu on that.

lljkk · 11/05/2013 14:51

I wouldn't like my 18 month old just pottering around; 18 month olds do things like wander off into the road. They aren't suited to environments with wide open doors and no adult keeping strict tabs on their safety. Better than 16 month olds, but not by much.

Jan49 · 11/05/2013 14:52

Sorry, YABU. He's helping someone move house and you're annoyed at having to carry a car seat to the car down the street.

Plenty of people could look after the toddler but couldn't help carry a wardrobe downstairs, me included, so he may be helping with things that some family members can't manage. Things like moving house nearly always take longer than people plan for. It's unfortunate that you didn't both realised that and plan around it.

FeckOffCup · 11/05/2013 16:42

YANBU to be annoyed but I would have assumed that he wouldn't be home before you had to leave and had your parents on standby to come and watch her. I wouldn't be happy about having a toddler underfoot while people are busy lifting heavy furniture and boxes if it was avoidable.

lottiegarbanzo · 11/05/2013 17:02

Is he usually reliable and a good timekeeper? Is that why you believed his estimate of a couple of hours and didn't make arrangements with your parents? If he has form for vagueness, you should really have booked them anyway.

But, can his child-minding relative not come to you? Otherwise, yes it sounds a pain and I would be concerned about a toddler getting underfoot but perhaps the minder can take her outside or walk with the pushchair for a bit to keep her away from th action?

They'll need to move heavy things first tough wont they, so I imagine he will be most help today. Let's just hope he's grateful for your trouble, likewise his family for all his help, then you can all feel appreciated afterwards.

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