Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To drop my DS off to play at a friend's house and not stay myself?

40 replies

DublinMammy · 10/05/2013 15:44

My DS is 4, one of the mums from his crèche asked if he would like to come round to play this afternoon. I have just dropped him off and didn't stay more than a couple of minutes so I could come home with my 4 month old and get the house sorted and have a bit of quiet time. She seemed a little surprised. It's his first solo play with this friend but was I meant to stay? He wasn't at all upset at me going but now I feel like I have made some sort if blunder. Any thoughts?

OP posts:

mrsjay · 10/05/2013 15:59

what time have you to go back for him Id go back a wee bit earlier and thank her for having him etc

Mumsyblouse · 10/05/2013 16:00

It can be nice to loiter for a bit of chat, but if you have a four month old not so possible. I usually chat but don't stay, sometimes the chats go on as long as if I'd gone in for a cup of tea anyway:)

K8Middleton · 10/05/2013 16:00

I think it depends on whether I know the parent. Some random from nursery? I'd stay the first time to check they're not obvious axe-wielding murderers, then drop and run.

Wishiwasanheiress · 10/05/2013 16:01

I'd go back few mins earlier with massive grin shouting you absolute star for having him and brandishing a big pack of biscuits. Make her a cuppa, have chat, leave.

Original poster

DublinMammy · 10/05/2013 16:02

We agreed I'd go back at 5 to get him, she has 2 other kids as well and the noise was unbelievable!!! I was thinking of bringing her a bottle of wine to say thanks for having him and wondered about asking her was it ok that I didn't stay or is that just making me seem even weirder?

OP posts:

Original poster

DublinMammy · 10/05/2013 16:04

It does strike me as ironic that I have spent the first hour of the two he will be there worrying that I didn't stay!!

OP posts:

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 10/05/2013 16:05

Where we are an invitation along the lines of "Would Oliver like to come over and play with Max?" (randomly chosen popularish names) would mean drop off at the door at age 4, in the situation you describe where the boys know each other not the mums.

My now 5 year old used to be reluctant to stay without me, so while his friends used to be dropped off at our door I'd have to go in and stay - I felt I was really imposing by doing so, and so made it clear I was happy to do all the hosting til he felt comfortable staying without me - which he now does.

DD was happy to be dropped off at 3, as were her friends, and with her it was always drop off at the door for friends she'd made at Kindergarten.

It depends what the convention is where you live, this seems to be quite stunningly localised and require a bit of intuition to work out! Just make sure you invite the friend back and let him mum know you are equally happy to be in sole charge while she goes home, if she is comfortable with that.

I hate other parents staying as I feel I have to have the house much tidier for parents coming in, than if they are just shoving their child through the door to join the chaos

mixedmamameansbusiness · 10/05/2013 16:05

It depends. I often do it but we have siblings that I don't want to inflict and we return the play date so they can have some chill time too. We do usually stay for the first one if only to have a gossip but I don't think it is problem.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 10/05/2013 16:07

I have 3 of my own too - usually means one more makes no odds IMO - I often find having 5 or 6 kids easier than having only my own 3, as they distract each other. Backfires sometimes of course if the combination is wrong. Still find 3 extra kids easier than one extra adult not of my choosing :)

Floggingmolly · 10/05/2013 16:09

You'd tend to stay the first time, if you haven't already met the parents.
In this case you have, and the kids are already friends, so I wouldn't see a problem.

mrsjay · 10/05/2013 16:09

just mention that your not used to this playing over thing yet and you hope she didnt think you were rude just dropping him off, go back 430ish

Original poster

DublinMammy · 10/05/2013 16:11

Ok, thanks everyone, seems like most of you would have done the same, I'll arrange a return playtime here and thank profusely plus give wine....

OP posts:

TeWiSavesTheDay · 10/05/2013 16:11

I think it is mostly a local thing, but everyone here stays! Maybe it's because I've normally walked an hour to get there

Original poster

DublinMammy · 10/05/2013 16:12

Nicely phrased MrsJay, that's exactly what I'll say. I do find that if ai linger then go after half an hour he does get clingy but if I don't stick around then he is fine.

OP posts:

jellybeans · 10/05/2013 16:45

I let my DDs go on their own at that age but not DSs unless I knew the parent well. They were too boistrous/accident prone and laid back parents scared me! had too many bad accidents with them to take risks. DS is 4 and I won't let him go anywhere alone until I feel he is ready. I am not fussed about playdates at this age to be honest anyway. I was mithered constantly with DTs.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread