aibu to wish my dd bf would move out?

[SimplyCupcakes]

my dd is age 20 and has moved back home to save money, she does pay small rent in principle. her bf also moved in and pays rent. I have tried so hard to welcome him like 1 of the family, but how can I stop myself from getting so wound up when hes around?. Hes not a bad guy, just does things differently (wrong!) around the house and its driving me nuts. aibu about little things like not putting chairs back in after a meal, eating with elbows on the table and mouth open..........answering our land line even when I'm home, chucking dirty towels in linen basket then going straight to airing cupboard to take fresh ones..... help, how do i take a step back and let go a bit, i'm starting to dread going home after work if hes there as i just get so wound up.

Yes, 'Grow up or ship out, matey, and take your pittance with you.' He won't go, he's on too good a deal I reckon; but he might actually tidy up a bit.

Thank you! will give in another week, then once things have settled back into a normal routine (me back at work) if things havent improved I will have to have a meeting. Maybe I have pmt or something and am being too harsh. Normally our household is a nice, happy, fun place to be and I dont really want to spoil that but if I still feel I am being taken the piss out of then will have to be done. Again thank you all for your words of support/wisdom/derision, have taken all on board and get it sorted! Knew i could count on mumsnet!

You allowed them to move in for £25/week? And no rota?

OP, I don't think you're being ott at all. What helped with my 'problem' was when I asked if they felt it was fair to split the housework equally, 3 ways. Silence, then affirmative murmers. I then pointed out that if they honestly thought they did their fair share (ie two thirds) then there was a serious problem. They had to admit they didn't. Day-to-day rota stuff improved immediately (the 'bigger' tasks, eg toilet and floor cleaning didn't happen because they moved out!)

Btw, they were paying me £400 a month which included everything except food, cleaning stuff, etc (supposedly!). They were still getting a good deal!

you get to live with you boyfriend if you rent a room in a shared house imho.... What motivation does your dd have to look for anything better paid than the bar job when she has no need of a greater wage?

Wow, I am amazed at some of the responses. I think YANBU at all, he sounds very selfish, childish and thoroughly obnoxious. And is totally taking advantage of your hospitality in only charging £25 a week. I would be having strict words with your DD, give her a month to get rid of him.

Why should you have to live in a mess just so that he and your DD can feel 'chilled' in the comfort of your home.

I would be seething with rage, and if that meant seeing less of my own child, so be it. I would be disappointed in my own child if they allowed a 'guest' to treat our home so disrespectfully. .

chucking dirty towels in linen basket then going straight to airing cupboard to take fresh ones

What's wrong with that? Or am I missing something?

Agree with expat and ragwort. Expecting adults to empty bins, wash up after themselves and be helpful and respectful when living in someone else's house is the bare minimum. Or they can move out an pay market rates.