does there come a point when you've lived on your own for so long you wouldn't be able to cohabit again?

[VelvetSpoon]

Sorry, bit of an unwieldly title. Have been thinking about this tonight - I split up with exP and moved out of our house 5 years ago this month. Was in one brief relationship immediately thereafter which ended before the living together stage (although we had discussed it) and since that broke up have been single - not through choice and (aside from my DCs) living on my own.

I am seeing someone at the moment. Its not at the relationship stage yet so far too soon to be thinking about living together but just contemplating stuff generally I was trying to imagine having another adult living here, and I couldn't.

I've always expected to end up in another long term relationship at some point, but now I'm wondering if 5 years on my own is too long? Am I too set in my ways to cope with living with someone?

I should add I met exP when I was 28; prior to that I had lived with parents, then at uni, then with parents, then bought my own home. ExP is the only man I have lived with but I was unhappy for most of the 7 years we lived together - was that just because he was an arse, or because I'm really not cut out for this living together stuff? Are some people just not suited to it? And even if I am, is it too much of a gap?...I can't think of anyone I know who has lived alone for more than a couple of years between relationships.

Yes!
I've only had one cocklodger partner live with me, and have been living alone for eight years. I do love it, but occasionally have a niggling worry that I couldn't live with someone again. Recently a friend crashed overnight after a dinner party, and the next day while we were chatting, I just kept thinking "will you please just GO Now!!!" Etc. maybe I'm just an antisocial turd...

If I ever had a partner I wanted to live with though, I would want us to live in our "own" home so I felt like I was neither intruding nor being intruded upon.

Siiiiiiiigh.

Nah, I was on my own for six years before I met dh and a year before he moved in. Took a bit of getting used to, but we've been together twenty years now!

After spending 19 years exclusively looking after children I relished the youngest going off to uni - had one 3 month relationship in all that time! Now the youngest has been away 3 years and I've had one 6 month relationship - he was an arse, so didn't want to live with him.

I now hate coming home to an empty house! A couple of weeks ago I made any excuse I could to come home later and later from work just so I wasn't here by myself. I'm going out more not necessarily because I want to go out but more about I don't want to be home.

Just be careful what you wish for.

I love, love, love living on my own.
Even the perfect man couldn't change it.
Any relationship I entered would be him living miles away and we'd meet up sometimes, it's my house pure and simple.
Ds leaves soon for university, I'll miss him so much, but he's irreplaceable as far as a bit of company is concerned.

I was on my own for six years before meeting my DH and loved it. I found adjusting to living with someone hard but you do get used to it. I still have niggles and things that wind me up but feel pretty comfortable with it on the whole.

I've lived on my own (well me and dc) for 4 1/2 years now. I think is find it hard to live with someone else, unless we moved into a new house rather than him moving into mine or me moving into his. The reason I say that is this..

I've recently started seeing someone, and we have discussed him moving in, even though it won't happen for at least a year. He said that if he moves in, he will sleep the window side of the bed as he gets hot at night. But that's my side, always has been as I like the breeze and get hot at night (ex hated it and always wanted to keep the window closed)

Then he said his collectible cars?! Would take pride of place in the lounge. I already have shelves with beautiful ornaments on, I don't want my lounge full of cars!

I think the problem is, that I see this houae as my house (probably because it is!) And can't imagine it being 'our house' or maybe me and him are incompatible, who knows!

I've been on with th DCs for just over 10 years now and I just can't imagine fitting another adult into our family. I almost started a relationship with 1 guy, but he came to dinner and told my boy off for something trivial at the table. He also called my daughter by my nickname for her. I just hated it. We remain aquaintences. He still occasionally uses the nickname. Istill hate it.

I lived on my own (well with my DS) for 14 years and I loved having control of my own space.

Moved in with DH a few months ago (refused to cohabit until we were married). It's been hard, but it helps that we've bought a very nice house, bigger than my old one and in a nicer area, we have a bathroom each, and I insisted on having an office space for me where I can pile up my junk without anyone complaining. And I work from home, so I get plenty of time having the place to myself when he's at work.

Before I met DH, I only ever dated other men and I'd stay over at theirs but I would never have considered living with any of them. I would have been quite happy to continue living on my own if I hadn't met DH though, I'm not one of those women who'd hoped that someday they might meet someone and get married. Marriage/living together has been a compromise and a sacrifice for me, and for DH it's been worth it. I agree with HollyBerryBush upthread: 'meet the right person and the pieces will fall into place'.

There's no way I'd have collectible cars cluttering up a wall of my living room either! The Ex had 2 boxes of sports trophies (that, a suitcase, and a bag of paperwork was all he brought when he moved in) which stayed in their boxes from the day he moved in til he moved out. I am not very tolerant of other people's 'stuff' (only child).

I think perhaps also this house - although I love it - was the house I bought with the Ex. It would seem odd to live here with someone else, but it's a big enough house there'd be no real reason to move. Perhaps it's because I still feel the ghost of ExP here that I can't see myself living here with anyone else?

I don't know about meeting the right man tbh, after 4 years the chances of a relationship with any man seem fairly slim, let alone one serious enough to live together...

I've been living as the sold adult with my ds for about 7 years. I don't think I could tolerate another man living with me unless he was a very clean and tidy person who didn't own much stuff!

I'd like someone else to deal with the things I find difficult such as plumbing problems and someone who was good at DIY around the house, just as long as they were clean and tidy.

That's sole not sold. I'm not worth that much.

Hi Velvet erm exp jumped in real quick, OMG, I thought I wanted a live in partner and I was delighted but his football and golf paraphernalia were just part of the problem, then there was his controlling, eating, drinking, sleeping habits etc etc.

So, to answer your question, in the future? Can't see it happening again any time soon. :)

He did do the ironing and clean the windows and cut the grass, but that didn't cut it (no pun intended). Oh no, not me again, not any time soon. :)

I still have great memories of him and love him to bits mind :) (but he doesn't know that). He just had to goooooo!

We don't need it, honestly we don't!