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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIB PFB, delirious with fever or actually rather sensible?

19 replies

mytitsareonfire · 08/05/2013 16:05

PFB is 6 weeks old. obviously she is the most amazing thing to grace this planet and you'd all agree if you met her

I'm currently shivering violently in my 15 tog duvet with mastitis which has come out of nowhere and really is as unpleasant as everyone makes it to be, my Dr's won't see me until tomorrow because they are utter bastards who love watching me suffer busy.

SIL has come down from a faraway land to visit PIL's and DD and was supposed to be coming round tonight, which is fine as she's not here to see me so DD and DH can just entertain her whilst I watch Jeremy Kyle reruns in bed. Now PIL's want to come too. MIL has a stinking cold and DH said she looked awful when he saw her yesterday and was very bunged up.

DD squeaks and wheezes a lot, paediatricians can't find a reason why yet but we're keeping an eye on it and it's obviously a respiratory issue. Therefore I don't want MIL to come tonight. AIBU to say so? She says she's feeling better but I don't see just how much better you can feel in 24 hours.

Am worried I'm being very PFB, it is just a cold afterall and it will piss MIL off. She's of the mindset that children should be exposed to all the bacteria going, left to CIO in the pram in the garden as its good for their lungs and car seats are for hysterical parents and totally unnecessary.

As you can tell I don't like her much and have written many threads about her (hence the NC) but I always try to not let it cloud my judgement when it comes to DD as she adores her.

OP posts:

50shadesofbrown · 08/05/2013 16:09

Your house. You're sick. Your rules.

yonithebrave · 08/05/2013 16:10

I wouldn't expect anyone with a cold to be visiting a 6 week old baby to be honest, not in that context, as she'll be wanting to hold her.

YANBU.

You could get her a surgical mask though

HPsauceonbaconbuttiesmmm · 08/05/2013 16:14

Not PFB at all. MIL should know better. You don't visit tiny babies when you've got bugs, it's a no no.

Btw is there an nhs walk in centre near you? Might be worth a try to get some antibiotics tonight? Or phone your breastfeeding HV or coordinator now and see if they can get you some drugs.

Sympathies to you.

ivanapoo · 08/05/2013 16:20

Are you breast feeding? If yes DD should be getting antibodies from you still. Not sure how long they last for if you ff. still, I wouldn't think YABU for saying no.

My DS squeaked, wheezed, grunted etc for the first two months of his life, every night, and was mega congested. I think it's quite common but worth checking out although my GP just made me feel massively PFB

Original poster

mytitsareonfire · 08/05/2013 16:25

Yeah I'm breastfeeding, would the antibodies for her cold still be passing through my milk even though I haven't come into contact with her?

Sorry if that's a stupid question!

And thanks for everyone's replies, will definitely try and get hold of the HV

OP posts:

honeytea · 08/05/2013 16:30

Say no to MIL. My son was hospitalized for 5 nights at 5 weeks old with ds virus (which in an adult is just a cold) he has only ever been breastfed, I think bf helps stop small babies picking up some illnesses but it is by no means a guarantee.

I hope your mastitis clears up soon, you poor thing.

Sirzy · 08/05/2013 16:35

RSV can be very serious for small babies, I have learnt from experience that exposing babies to colds when it can be avoided is a bad idea.

leavesalmondoutofit · 08/05/2013 16:37

Sorry you are feeling so rotten. You can take paracetamol and ibuprofen to help with the miseries. Are your boobs engorged or have any red patches? Would be worth sitting in a warm bath to express any milk or work out any lumps from blocked ducts. Try changing feeding positions and let baby empty your breasts as effectively as possible. Have you tried lying down to feed or putting baby in the rugby ball position. Contact your local breastfeeding support helpline if you can't get your health visitor. Hope you feel better soon.

browneyesblue · 08/05/2013 16:39

No, DD would only be getting the antibodies that you are producing. You don't have MIL's cold, so aren't producing antibodies against it.

Antibodies aren't a magic shield either - DD can still catch bugs, especially when she is so tiny. I would say no to MIL - seems bonkers to deliberately expose a tiny baby (unless, of course, you are looking for a challenge and want to care for a stuffed-up, snotty little baby while dealing with your own raging infection).

Call the out-of-hours doc if things get worse.

Congratulations on your DD :)

thebeastandbeauty · 08/05/2013 16:43

I wouldnt want my baby to catch a cold while I was already ill myself, yanbu

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 08/05/2013 17:21

I have total sympathy. Mastitis is horrendous. If you dont want visitors whith colds, or any visitors at all, then dont have them! Say NO.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 08/05/2013 17:24

YANBU.

No way would I be letting anyone cold-y near my tiny baby with breathing problems. Hope you get an answer about DDs issues and you feel better soon!

ChunkyChicken · 08/05/2013 17:27

Personally, having had mastitis, I'd be more worried about getting that dealt with ASAP. I'd be tempted to get to an OOH GP & get antibiotics. When I had it, and I was only just getting a fever when I went to my Dr (its a walk-in centre) the lovely female GP was very quick to check me, prescribe antibiotics and reassure me I'd done the right thing in going, as mastitis can quickly turn to an abscess, which is very nasty.

As for your DD. I'm not sure. I think your MIL is being a bit U not to 'fall on her sword' and make the decision not to come herself. However, as someone who's DS had a cough & cold at 12do, it can just be that, a cold. But then, I couldn't prevent him getting it, as his then 2yo big sister had been very keen to kiss & cuddle him cough right in his face. I guess, if its merely taking precautions to prevent your DD getting a cold now, then that's reasonable, whereas trying to wrap her in cotton wool forever wouldn't be iyswim. Given your own ill health, I think YANBU.

sewingandcakes · 08/05/2013 17:28

Say no and explain why. you can always blame it on postnatal hormones in the future!

Ds3 had meningitis at 2 weeks old, I have no idea where he got it from but it's made me far more cautious than I was with ds1 and ds2. He's fine now but it's an experience i wouldn't wish on anyone and breastfeeding doesn't protect against everything unfortunately.

I hope your mastitis gets better soon.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 08/05/2013 17:30

Actually, I agree with Chunky you sound like you need antibiotics. If you cant see the GP then wait a bit and get to the OOHs service.

Dawndonna · 08/05/2013 17:31

Sod your GP. I have had two emergency (I mean 4am) operations due to mastitis. If you are shivering it's because you have a fever, not a fucking cold. Get someone to yell at your GP. It's urgent and you need antibiotics now!

poocatcherchampion · 08/05/2013 17:33

agree. dont wait til tomorrow for anti bis!

nilbyname · 08/05/2013 17:47

mastitus is serious, if you have not been given antibiotics yet, you need to call the locum and get them NOW.

Given that you are ill. You cannot have visitors. You certainly cannot have sickly visitors that might make you even ill or you PFB.

DeputyDeputyChiefOfStaff · 08/05/2013 18:20

I haven't read all the replies, I've just come on to say that mastitis can get more serious very quickly, and is there any way you could get to an ooh dr tonight? I hope you feel better soon.

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