Update: is my cleaner stealing from me? Yes she is. WWYD?

[SlowLooseChippings]

I posted a thread on here a few weeks ago, detailing my suspicions that my cleaner was stealing from me. I thought she might have been going through my wallet as I was missing a sum of money the day after going to the cash machine (not for the first time, I noticed it when I had taken out a large amount to pay for something specific) and separately noticed that a five-pound note was missing on the same day from the coin bowl we keep by the door - the one my husband empties his pockets into in the evenings.

What I did: let her know that I had noticed some money missing and asked her to please keep an eye out (I was very embarrassed and she has very little English so I'm not sure how much got through). Started paying her by bank transfer and stopped keeping cash in my wallet. Forgot about it for a little while.

Last week my husband came home from work and asked me if I'd taken money from the coin bowl. It's usually small change or a couple of quid in there but he had put £10 in pound coins in there and forgot to put it back in his pocket that morning. Gone. This week I emptied the little bowl of pound coins - I didn't count the whole lot of small change left behind, mostly coppers, but noted that there were four 50pence coins. Now gone.

So yes, she's pocketing the change. It can't go on, she doesn't have enough English to confront satisfactorily (and she has a key until next week when she goes away and the agency will take it to send me a replacement cleaner). She's warm-hearted and very very fond of my baby son. We are gutted at the thought that we may be about to ruin her life over £2, because she will lose her job. She's also a bloody good cleaner; I am not, and the replacements who have come from the same agency before were terrible. I don't care about £2 here or there. I do care when it adds up to £5 or £10 a week, and I do care that someone thinks they can help themselves.

Is there any way out of this? WWYD?

[MummytoKatie]

I think you need to tell the agency and ask them to pay for your locks to be changed.

Personally I think that the best thing that can happen to her is that she is caught petty thieving and loses her job. Otherwise she is likely to steal more and more until she ends up in prison.

[Isabeller]

If I had anything worth nicking and was being sensible WWID is change the locks and change agencies and possibly have other security stuff fitted because someone who knew when I was not going to be there and where stuff was kept and could have had a another key cut and could be the source of a future problem.

In this fantasy I would be lovely about finishing the arrangement with the cleaner and the agency and say things like we are having to take a break from this arrangement but really hope to be able to have you back one day and possibly even give the impression that you (or someone) is going to be at home more. Being lovely would assuage all feelings of kindness and responsibility and not make me nervous about any consequences.

I would recruit my next cleaner differently ie recommendation or different agency.

In reality I am a sucker.

[CalamityKate]

SET UP A BANK ACCOUNT AS INCENTIVE NOT TO STEAL????

Have I wandered into an alternate universe?

That's LUDICROUS!

[GreenShadow]

This is why I could never have a cleaner.

Just hate the thought of a stranger in my house doing goodness knows what.

[BiteTheTopsOffIcedGems]

Someone stole from my house, different circumstances but they stile something that can't be replaced.
I felt like punching them in the face, I did not of course.
I tried to do what was right, it seems like to are trying to do the same thing.
However the person that stole from is still has what they stole and has not faced any consequences.
I feel like a twat.
Report them, tell the police. How dare they steal from your home.
My two year old took home some play doh from playgroup and I paid two pound extra the next week as I felt bad.

[ExcuseTypos]

Same here Green, I've heard a lot of horror stories from friends and family.

Unfortunatley unless I knew the person, I wouldn't want them in my house.

[lisaro]

FFS shes trusted in your house - interacts with your child and is stealing from you!she is NOT a nice person - she's a rotten little thief. Tell the agency - immediately. I doubt very much you're the only ones, and she cannot be trusted.

[toiletbrush]

Oi Greenshadow! There are plenty of honest cleaners out there who would never dream of stealing or snooping.

Some of us are just ordinary mums, trying to make a living and would no more contemplate stealing than I'm sure you would!

Get rid of her op but do let the agency know.

[BiteTheTopsOffIcedGems]

I agree with Lisaro, every pound she robs off you she is pretty much taking of your baby she is so fond of!



Sorry for all the typos in my previous post. On phone holding a wiggly baby.

[scissy]

If you think she's been at your wallet, I'd check your bank statement carefully. it's very easy to buy stuff online/over the phone just using a credit/debit card number.

[DowntonTrout]

DH had money go missing from work. He and his partner share their office, which the other staff have access to. They have a safe. But in their stupidity, they left a spare key in a drawer.

One weekend a few hundred pounds had disappeared from the safe. This also brought to mind pound coins going missing from pots ( he throws his change in) and bagged up 20ps from the coffee machine disappearing. They were sad that a member of staff was stealing, agreed not to discuss who it might be, just had a camera fitted quietly.

Sure enough it showed someone rooting through the drawers, then getting the safe key and checking the safe. It was the cleaner. The woman nearly collapsed when presented with the evidence. The agency got a bit shirty about it, saying it wasn't their fault and that they had a contract etc, but he sacked them anyway. He also doesn't leave the safe key in the building anymore.

[VivaLeBeaver]

Is she legal to work here?

I didn't think that Bulgarians could work here yet.....its not as if cleaning is a specialist occupation?

Fair enough if she's allowed but if she isn't legal then I'd get a different agency.

[CloudsAndTrees]

Phone the police and make the agency pay for the locks to be changed.

This is not a nice woman, and you owe it to her other clients.

[ophelia275]

How is she able to work legally if she is from Bulgaria? I thought they weren't allowed to come to the UK to work until January 2014? Is she paying tax/NI?

[ophelia275]

She can't be a nice person if she is stealing from you. She sounds like a bit of a confidence trickster.

[Grinkly]

In answer to the aghast responses - I've lived overseas a lot and the staff have often been very poor so to discourage them from making off with the family silver one night, (as it would make them better off in the long run than the small amount they earned) I made it clear I was putting some money aside which they would get when we left the country. Then they have a reason to remain honest.

If their home conditions are bad enough they could be forced to steal just to keep the family fed.

If this cleaner is totally above board and a tax paying UK citizen then why would she scupper her chances of a job (which must be thin on the ground for non-English speakers to say the least) for a few nicked quid?

She is either starving/ stupid/ or being controlled by a minder of some sort who takes her pay.

[SlowLooseChippings]

I don't know about the legal side of it but all of this agency's cleaners are from Bulgaria - at least all 5 who have come to me in 2 years (holiday replacements etc). I wrote her a reference last year after she'd worked for me for a year - the agency said it was for her visa renewal so I think they have it all straight.

[SlowLooseChippings]

Oh and I'm usually at home with DS when she comes in the morning. My card details would be trickier to get hold of than any loose cash (which could be quickly swiped while wiping the hall table) and I have Internet banking and check the bills regularly. I think she's a casual opportunist rather than a particularly skilful criminal.

[lucidlady]

My cleaner is Bulgarian and I live not too far from you...I have had similar suspicions...I wonder if it is the same person?! Does her name start with G?

[Astley]

Are you worried her visa will be revoked then? As frankly, she revoked her own visa when she started stealing. Do we really want to let people stay here knowing they are criminals?

[SlowLooseChippings]

A few nicked quid is anywhere between £2-10 per week, from just one client. Assuming I was right about the occasional larger amounts from wallet, that makes about £40 on 2 further occasions. Maybe more than that I didn't notice. It's new clothes, travel expenses, etc - a significant amount extra per month when your base pay is £7 per hour.

[starfishmummy]

McKayz. She shouldn't have to lock stuff away to accommodate a thief. However if she is not prepared to sack her, then taking precautions is necessary.

[lottieandmia]

If anyone working for me stole from me I would involve the police!

Why are you so calm about this? I would not want a thief in my house either and would take immediate steps to remove her. How can you trust a persistant thief in your home - the one place you should feel safe and do what you like with your personal belongings?

[Corygal]

I'm not usually alarmist, but I'd be more worried about getting burgled once she's had possession of your keys. Ask the agency how they handle keys. Is the agency legit?

It's petty theft and she's poor, so I see there's a judgement call to be made on shopping her. But chances are you're not the only victims, and she may be robbing other poor people (oldsters who need home care, etc) or may be revving up to upscale her activities - which, the longer she gets away with it, is more likely.

IMHO going through your purse pushes it over the line - I'd tell the agency. There's no proof, so she'll probably get away with it, but I would say it's worth flagging up.