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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit miffed I wasn't invited?

23 replies

ALittleBitOfMagic · 07/05/2013 22:26

SiL is going away for a working holiday tomorrow for 4 months . I'm actually pretty gutted I will miss her terribly we are very close . Or so I thought anyway . I found out tonight she was out for a farewell dinner with my sister and my cousin (they all sort of run in the same circle - with little sub-groups iyswim) . Actually miffed isn't really the word I'm actually a quite hurt . I don't think she would have not asked me on purpose I think she just didn't think to ask me which makes me very Sad

Genuinely don't know if I'm being oversensitive and dramatic being upset by it .

OP posts:
snuffaluffagus · 07/05/2013 22:28

No I would be upset in that situation too.

CocacolaMum · 07/05/2013 22:29

aww I think I would be hurt too x

pigletmania · 07/05/2013 22:49

Yanbu I would be very hurt too, I would causally ask her how her fair well meal went

pigletmania · 07/05/2013 22:49

And see her reaction.

chickydoo · 07/05/2013 22:55

Ask her why you weren't invited.

timidviper · 07/05/2013 22:57

I would be hurt too. Sorry.

CelticPixie · 07/05/2013 22:58

No, I'd feel hurt by that too. Maybe ask why you weren't invited?

Original poster
ALittleBitOfMagic · 07/05/2013 23:00

I can't ask her now thats her away . She came up for about half an hour to see us and the DCs and then went to finish packing she's leaving during the night . I found out about last night after she had left and I don't want to text her and spoil tonight for her I really don't want her to leave with us on bad terms either .

I will definitely ask my sister though when I see her .

OP posts:
thebody · 07/05/2013 23:01

Ah thats upsetting. Ask your sister why she didn't mention it to you.

CelticPixie · 07/05/2013 23:03

I think that sometimes when people leave others out its more because they've just not thought to ask you rather than out of nastiness. But its still hurtful.

starfishmummy · 07/05/2013 23:09

Who arranged it? If it was your sister or cousin then it might not be sil's choice that you weren't there.
But still hurtful.

newbiefrugalgal · 07/05/2013 23:09

That's just mean.

Original poster
ALittleBitOfMagic · 07/05/2013 23:11

I don't know who arranged it tbh . If it was my sister I wouldn't be surprised she left me out . Shes quite thoughtless like that .

OP posts:
andubelievedthat · 07/05/2013 23:12

Its only mean if done with mean in mind i.e. deliberately mean,which sounds unlikely(imo)

Original poster
ALittleBitOfMagic · 08/05/2013 10:50

I don't think it was done in a mean way either and I think they just didn't think to invite me . Sometimes I think they just see me as sister/SiL rather than friend which really makes me Sad because I class them as my friends . I feel like they just see me as the woman who gave birth to their niece and nephew .

I see SiL loads at least once a week sometimes two or three times . I joke that Shes part of the furniture in my house . I was really upset when she left last night I'm going to really miss her .

OP posts:
Bricklestick · 08/05/2013 11:07

If my SiL invited me to something like this, I'd think she'd gone a bit insane, tbh. I like her a lot, but wouldn't think to be included in something like this.

Besides which, you have no idea if her friend's arranged this or not.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 08/05/2013 11:13

It was a friends dinner you are family. You see her all the time and she went out of her way to come to your house and say goodbye, I think you are being a bit over sensitive tbh.

Hazelbrowneyes · 08/05/2013 11:15

I'd be upset too. Big hugs xx

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 08/05/2013 11:26

Did she perhaps think it would be awkward to invite you but not your DH?
Was it at short notice, could you have got a babysitter?
Are your sister and cousin closer in age to her than you?

Sorry, floundering here for explanations, it's not nice to feel left out.

Original poster
ALittleBitOfMagic · 08/05/2013 17:56

brickle her friends are my sister and cousin so not exactly strangers to me .

donkey yes they are they are all within 2 years age-wise with each other - I'm 4 years older .

I just thought we were more than SiLs that we were friends . She has texted me today thought so maybe I am being oversensitive .

OP posts:
thistlelicker · 08/05/2013 18:07

Ask your sister! I'd be upset too! Especially if you all socialise together.

C999875 · 10/05/2013 13:05

No U.N.B.U. I would be upset as well. As childish as this seems it hurts to feel left out. xx

Maggie111 · 10/05/2013 17:32

I would be very upset - fuck 'em.

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