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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

because dp just looked at me like I'd grown another head...

75 replies

Whereisegg · 07/05/2013 17:39

This is really trivial but just wondered if I am alone in my thinking....

It is about to pour down here so I have just got my washing in.
Next door also have washing out, but nobody is home.
As we are missing a fence panel between our gardens til Friday, I mentioned I was considering getting theirs in for them.

They are fairly new neighbours, we don't really 'talk' but I thought this would be a nice thing to do, but dp thinks I'm crazy and should leave it.

Would it be such a terrible thing to do?!

OP posts:

everlong · 07/05/2013 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ComtessedeFrouFrou · 07/05/2013 19:20

The real question now is whether they have rushed out to take the wagon in now that they are home?

If yes, you can assume they'd be grateful.

If no, you can assume they wouldn't.

Original poster

Whereisegg · 07/05/2013 19:24

She has taken her washing in, and I'm glad I didn't get hers in but only because it was spitting with black clouds at the time of my getting my own in, but it didn't come to anything and is now beautiful outside again so she would have thought me most odd!

It is lovely to hear all your takes of neighbourliness though :)

OP posts:

Original poster

Whereisegg · 07/05/2013 19:24

Doh - tales!

OP posts:

Salmotrutta · 07/05/2013 19:25

They have a wagon??

seeker · 07/05/2013 19:31

It was bizarre- everlong. The third worst flaming I have ever had. The kindest interpretation was that I was "needy and try-too-hard" The worst that I was snooping to find out my friend's secrets!

littleballerina · 07/05/2013 19:34

i remember the lunch box!!!! arf.

everlong · 07/05/2013 19:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChangeNameToday · 07/05/2013 19:45

I don't think the lunchbox thing is weird Seeker, seems normal and decent. Did people really flame you for that?

I think the difference here is that washing is personal.

Tryharder · 07/05/2013 19:49

I would take in the washing as well.

I went on holiday to a park in Cornwall a few years back and a woman in a nearby caravan took my washing in for me when it rained when we were out. We were friends for the rest of the holiday.

DontmindifIdo · 07/05/2013 19:50

And Seeker - you had the lunchbox in your posession, in this case, she'd be going into someone else's garden and messing with their pants. Just not the done thing.

Mother2many · 07/05/2013 19:56

Well, if I was you, I would of prob. mentioned something to her... You don't know her yet...maybe she would of appreciated it, and maybe not... Either way you learn a bit about her...

GColdtimer · 07/05/2013 20:01

I think it's so sad so many people would be annoyed. Where I used to live we would this for each other all the time as the gardens we all open (terraced houses). When we moved my 70 year neighbour did this for the new people and got a mouthful for her trouble. She was so upset. I think it's a lovely thought and I would be grateful.

GColdtimer · 07/05/2013 20:05

But op said it wasn't personal, just uniform and stuff. I might draw the line at a line full of small.

Seeker, I would do all that too. It's just being thoughtful. Can't believe you got flamed.

Original poster

Whereisegg · 07/05/2013 20:08

Just for the record dontmind I was not planning on 'messing with her pants'.
I don't mess with strangers pants. Not on a Tuesday anyway

OP posts:

LaGuardia · 07/05/2013 20:26

If a neighbour touched my clean washing I would have to wash it again

starsandunicorns · 07/05/2013 20:35

I have taken my neighbours washing in loads of time ( moved about alot so lots of diff neughbours) once i came home and it was raining next door had her washing out i brought it in stuck the sheets and school uniform in the tumble dryer She was gratful as she didnt have a tumble dryer and limted school uniform.

GColdtimer · 07/05/2013 20:52

For goodness sake laGaurdia, what a ridiculous thing to say.

Original poster

Whereisegg · 07/05/2013 21:17

I never considered any OCD type issues.
Just wanted to be nice, and it is a real eye opener that so many people would not only be displeased, but actually offended and consider me to be a busybody.
I think I'm an ok neighbour, I have swept my elderly neighbours paths of snow, and knocked on a couple of doors when one of elderly neighbours grass was very long (unlike her) but she was on holiday, so was fine, helped them to carry shopping, taken parcels in, and seriously considered this nothing more than an extension of those things.

OP posts:

yonithebrave · 07/05/2013 21:24

I take my neighbours washing in, but I also fake tan her back for her as well.

Don't know the 'other side' neighbours very well, but as she's about to have a baby if they had baby stuff on the line and it rained, I would bring that in for her.

Not touching any pants though, no way, no how.

OrangeLily · 07/05/2013 21:25

I would take it in!

Just asked DH and he said no because he is too lazy.

The only thing that would be awkward if you are mid folding up their pants and they walk in....

If you at that fussed about your 'small a' don't hang them outside for everyone to see.

LaGaurdia.... That's ridiculous unless your neighbour is King of the Germs from mankyville. Don't fucking shudder at people being kind. It's a normal thing to do without feeling like aliens have landed.

what is the world coming too......

Mandy2003 · 07/05/2013 21:29

My neighbour knocked when I had washing out and it started to rain. I wasn't at home but teen DS was. For the first time in his life he was shamed into bringing washing in! Go neighbour

youmeatsix · 07/05/2013 21:40

i would happily bring in a neighbours washing and tumble dry it for them, but wouldnt like anyone to bring mine in for me double standards, i know

DoJo · 08/05/2013 00:06

It really does depend though - we have neighbours who are altogether too much up in our business anyway, so for them to do something like this would be another encroachment on our personal space which would make me uncomfortable and angry. They used to feed rotten scraps to my rabbits under the guise of 'being neighbourly' despite me telling them that they were on a special diet; they repeatedly come to our door at unsociable hours to ask inane questions; they have blazing rows which we are forced to listen to or close all the windows in the summer; they can't just say 'hello' and get on with things when we're in the garden, they have to attempt to involve us in all their family dramas. So if they took in our washing, I'd be furious.

I think asking is probably the best way to approach it, and then you'll know (and hopefully prove your husband wrong!).

Booyhoo · 08/05/2013 00:18

when i had new neighbours at my first house the woman used to take my washing in if it was going to rain. then she suggested we remove one fence panel to save her having to go out the front and round the side to get into my garden, i obliged (she also said it would mean our dcs could play together in both gardens) then they started taking their bins through my garden to put out the front. initially they took mine too whilst they were doing it but that soon stopped and then it was basically them using my garden as access to their own to save going round the path at the back. and she started using my washing line too so i would come home from work and find my line full of her washing so couldn't put my own out unless i took hers down still damp! then they got a dog. so i put the panel back up and just let my washing get wet if it rained. i was far happier.

not saying you're a piss taker like that lot OP. but based on my only experience of neighbours taking in my washing 'as a favour' i wouldn't actually like it tbh.

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