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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I being the wicked step mother if I suggest this?

21 replies

HealthyMay · 04/05/2013 17:24

Name change as I've been told mumsnet hates stepmums Blush

Basically DP and I have just bought a house. Not stealth boasting but it's a beautiful 4 bed detached house - perfect?

Well no, not really. The bedrooms are tiny. I have two teenage lads living with me and DP has two teenage lads who will visit every saturday night. Great boys - looking forward to spending more time with them (dp and I currently don't live together so I don't see the lads every week) but there is a bit of tension surrounding the bedroom situation.

Master bedroom is a foot shorter both width and length ways than my current bedroom - not a problem I suppose, we'll manage. To be fair, I agreed to his lads having the next biggest bedroom as they're the oldest two and they're sharing - so that bedroom is roughly the same size as the room my eldest DS (14) is in now. 3rd bedroom is about a foot smaller than DS1's current bedroom and the smallest room is a foot smaller than DS2's current room.

I'm freaking out slightly because my lads currently struggle for space - they already share a wardrobe so DS2 has to go into DS1s room everytime he wants something out of the wardrobe!!

So - I'm thinking of suggesting to DP that we keep the bedrooms allocated as planned - but could my DS's have a wardrobe in his DS's room as they're only there once a week and probably won't care.

Am I out of order?

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 04/05/2013 17:26

Sounds sensible to me.

Sirzy · 04/05/2013 17:27

I think that would make a lot of sense. Perhaps with an agreement that they get any clothes out they would want at a weekend before they arrive, or that the always ask before going in so that your step sons still have some privacy.

SvarteKatterogFlosshatter · 04/05/2013 17:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

letseatgrandma · 04/05/2013 17:33

You'd have to be pretty unreasonable to not agree with that. Your boys wil have a lot more stuff if they are living there.

DD2 has just swapped rooms with DS and he now has a massive room. He has to share this big room with a cupboard full of dressing up dresses and a toy cupboard full of the girls' Sylvanian Families! He wasn't bothered in the slightest-I find boys generally incredibly easy to please!!

Xales · 04/05/2013 17:33

It seems a bit crazy to me to have the second biggest room sitting empty for 6 out of 7 nights a week.

Can you put your two boys in the second largest room. His two in bunk beds in the third and turn the 4th into a storage/games/homework room for all of them?

BumpingFuglies · 04/05/2013 17:34

Sounds fine to me. Does MN really hate SMs? News to me Shock

Original poster
HealthyMay · 04/05/2013 17:38

No my two can't share, they really don't get on. Tried it once - never again! Hence why I've tried to do the decent thing and give the big bedroom to his boys so that mine can have their own room each - but thinking about it, where are their clothes going to go!?

I recently bought DS1 a big wardrobe with shelves at the side and drawers underneath - simply because he has to share it with his little brother. So I'm just thinking if that bulky thing goes into Stepsons' room - my lads have more space. I don't want to be selfish though but his boys will barely use their room. Eldest is 18 almost so will stay downstairs with us most of the time. Plus we have a big garage which we're going to fill with pool table, drum kit, exercise stuff - teenage boy's dream! I don't think they'll care but DP might get all high and mighty about it Sad

OP posts:
Beamur · 04/05/2013 17:42

MN doesn't hate stepmums. They hate evil stepmums!
I think your suggestion is quite reasonable. I'd try and have it so that there is some clothes storage in each room, but that a wardrobe in the shared bedroom also has to accommodate out of season clothes and stuff like that.
We have a 4 bed house, us, DD and my 2 DSC's every other week until recently (oldest now at Uni) so everyone has their own room, but no-one has 'exclusive' rights to every square centimetre of that space! In DSS's room, DD's summer clothes are in his wardrobe, in DD's room, the cupboard in her miniscule room is stuffed full of the other season duvets and in DSD's room, the built in cupboard is full of camping gear! The kids all seem ok with this - not that they would get the choice to refuse though. DSS is probably the most sensitive to what happens to 'his' room - he was mildly outraged that I asked DD if she wanted it once he went to Uni, she didn't Grin

mynewpassion · 04/05/2013 17:44

I would ask the dss as they are older. If they are fine then u don't need to ask dp

Xales · 04/05/2013 17:44

OK makes sense to have your two separate for your own sanity Grin

If the eldest is 18 soon how long until he is off to uni and won't be over as much? You can rethink in a few years.

How about the high beds with wardrobes underneath for storage?

HollyBerryBush · 04/05/2013 17:45

Do you have room to build cupboards?

I'll try and explain, my friend had a standard 3 bed semi, 2 doubles and a box room. We all know box rooms are a pointless invention once you get furniture in them; because her dad was nifty he built a wardrobe over the stair well, following the line of the stairs, so no one banged their head. It was accessable from the box room. You'd be surprised where you can put storage if you think long and hard about it.

DS1 has our box room and wardrobes are built into our landing, so that frees up his space a bit.

BumpingFuglies · 04/05/2013 17:45

I am evil though. I make em eat broccoli Grin

HollyBerryBush · 04/05/2013 17:46

You posted again! with the garage - can't you put in two sofa beds as well?

Original poster
HealthyMay · 04/05/2013 17:48

Make the lads sleep in the garage? pmsl I can't see that going down well with DP but it did make me chuckle Grin

puts the drink down

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 04/05/2013 17:50

It was only a suggestion, I assumed it was a brick built one, attached to the house, that would be properly done out, insulated, double glazed etc if you were turning it into a games room.

Beamur · 04/05/2013 17:54

HollyBerryBush- we did exactly that with our smallest bedroom. That's where all the spare duvets and bulky (but not too heavy) stuff goes.

Beamur · 04/05/2013 17:55

Broccoli....get thee behind me evil one Grin

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii · 04/05/2013 17:56

Would using a mobile clothes rail help at all. You could keep it in the DSS's room during the week and wheel it into your lads rooms on the weekends?

HollyBerryBush · 04/05/2013 17:57

Another thing people are doing round these 'ere parts is: the summer house at the bottom of the garden, made for lounging teenagers. Although I doubt that would be a good winter solution, and they might have to pee in a bucket

Original poster
HealthyMay · 04/05/2013 17:57

Sorry Holly, wasn't taking the piss it's just that DP is ridiculously protective over his boys and I could just picture his face if I suggested it to him. The garage is brick built with light and power etc but not attached to the house and still has the metal shutter things on it, that's why I found it so funny :-) But yeah, I know what you mean - one of the other houses we went to see had done the garage out as a room and it was lovely.

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 04/05/2013 18:32

Your suggestion sound very reasonable. You're compromising by giving the sharing boys the biggest room - completely sensible. The two who can't share get slightly smaller rooms, but on the plus side it's a room all to themselves. So a bit of storage in the room which sits empty most of the time sounds fine to me. If your partner sees a problem with that then there's another problem there, and it isn't with how you arrange the rooms!

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