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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not know how I am related to family members?

33 replies

Unacceptable · 02/05/2013 22:19

I understand who my Cousins are and Uncles/Aunts etc. but a bit beyond that and I get confused Confused

Who is my Mother's Cousin? Is that my 2nd cousin?

What about my Cousin's DS?

OP posts:
ChaosTrulyReigns · 02/05/2013 22:21

The twice removed bit always throws me.

[confused ]

TwinkleTits · 02/05/2013 22:23

My dads cousins chidren are my third cousins.

So yes, your parents cousins are your second cousins (I assume).

Twice removed - no idea.

TwinkleTits · 02/05/2013 22:24

Why would you remove them?
Twice?

confusteling · 02/05/2013 22:25

Your second cousin is the child of your mother's first cousin, your third cousin is the child of your mmother's second cousin I think.

Twice removed refers to the generation gap. Cant recall exactly how it works.

I've done genealogy so have a good long list of relatives that tells me how they're related..

OryxCrake · 02/05/2013 22:26

I think the removed bit refers to generations. So your mum's sibling's child is your first cousin. That cousin's child is your first cousin once removed. Your child and your cousin's child will be second cousins.

I think...

OryxCrake · 02/05/2013 22:26

Oops - xpost!

letseatgrandma · 02/05/2013 22:26

The removed bit is where you are separated by generations, eg your mum's first cousin (Sarah) is your first cousin once removed. Sarah's children are your second cousins.

Trill · 02/05/2013 22:28

You and your siblings share the same parents.

You and your (first) cousins share grandparents - your parents are each other's siblings.

You and your second cousins share great grandparents - your parents are each other's cousins - your grandparents are siblings.

"Removed" refers to a change in generation. When the people you are talking about are of a different generation you say the closest thing , then the number of generations removed.

Your mum's first cousin is your first cousin once removed.

Your grandma's cousin first cousin is your first cousin twice removed.

confusteling · 02/05/2013 22:28

E.g Paul is my fifth cousin. Paul's mother is my mum's fourth cousin, but she's my fourth cousin once removed. OHer mother is a third cousin of my nan. Her mother is a second cousin of my gt nan. So gt gt nan, and Paul's gt gt nan are first cousins - so Pall and I's gt gt gt Gran are sisters.

OldBeanbagz · 02/05/2013 22:30

Maybe this will help!

confusteling · 02/05/2013 22:31

Well Paul and I are actually related by my gt gt grandpa, so I think Paul's gt gt gt grandpa and mine are brothers.. But the example still works.

ComposHat · 02/05/2013 22:32

I have learned something new today.

Sadly me second cousins and (the once removeds) are a right rough lot. I shan't be sharing the news of my newly found cousins with anyone.

OhHullitsOnlyMeYoni · 02/05/2013 22:35

I recently found my mum's bio family. I am really confused as it is a large family - my mum's half sister has a cousin = que? Who is that to me?

tallulah · 02/05/2013 22:38

Your mother's cousin is your cousin once removed.
Your mother's cousin's child is your second cousin.

Your cousin's DS is your cousin once removed.

If you are on the same generational line as your relative, the relationship goes siblings>first cousin>second cousin>third cousin etc

So Adam and Anne are siblings. Adam's son Barry and Anne's DD Barbara are first cousins. Next generation Barry's DD Clare and Barbara's DS Colin are second cousins etc.

The removed part is when you are not on the same generational line. So both your mother's cousin and your cousin's child are once removed, even though one is the generation before you and the other after.

confusteling · 02/05/2013 22:40

She'd be a cousin of some sort but only if you and s/he share an an ancestor. Otherwise she's no relation, bar one through marriage.

tallulah · 02/05/2013 22:41

Bah! Took so long to type that, that everyone else beat me to it, and more succinctly.

WafflyVersatile · 02/05/2013 22:43

I also get confused, so I googled.

Here is a pictorial representation. I have no idea if it is correct or not.

leisureguy.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/cousin_tree.png

confusteling · 02/05/2013 22:44

Right I'm trying to work this out now. My cousin M, daughter of G, son of C who is my gt gran's sister, has a baby. So M is my second cousin once removed? What relation to me is her baby?

OhHullitsOnlyMeYoni · 02/05/2013 22:45

Ah thank you.
Now just need to figure out if we have a relative in common! So confusing as I hear all of their lineage in one big go!

confusteling · 02/05/2013 22:47

Aargh. This will bother me now! M's the same relation to mum as E is and I know E's children are my third cousins. So M's child must be too?

squalorvictoria · 02/05/2013 22:51

The Wikipedia entry on cousins really helped me with this Grin

My cousin's child is MY child's second cousin. And my first cousin once removed.

Being cousins is all to do with shared ancestors. If you share grandparents you are first cousins. If you share great grandparents you are second cousins.

Trill · 02/05/2013 22:52

confusteling

C is your great gran's sister.
G is the cousin of one of your grandparents
M is the cousin of one of your parents, so is your first cousin once removed
M's baby is your second cousin.

maddening · 02/05/2013 23:00

The twice removed thing is when it is across generations as far as I can remember

Ginger4justice · 02/05/2013 23:02

Squalor That's how I got it. Someone explained the shared grandparents thing to me and it all suddenly clicked.

Basically ignore who is who's aunt, mum or whatever. If they have a grandparent in common they're cousins, great grandparent they're second cousins and so on. I've given up about the removed bit, but I guess that comes in when one side's grandparent is another great grandparent etc.

It gets a bit ridiculous on DH side as his Great Grandma (so DD Great, Great, Grandma) is still alive so we occasionally see DD's Third Cousins and everyone in between. MIL has stopped trying to explain it to me and has left me in happy ignorance of who anyone is on these occasions or what they are saying through their yorkshire accents.

squalorvictoria · 02/05/2013 23:06

The once removed thing is to do with generations. So, my first cousin has a child (X) who is my first cousin once removed. This is because our shared ancestors are my grandparents but they are X's great grandparents. Make sense?