Hi all
I'm in a quandary and would love some advice please :)
My ds is 4 months old and the best thing ever. He's the first grandchild for both sets of parents. However my dh's parents live in Durham and we're in Cornwall, very near my parents. We travelled by car to see the ILs for Easter and it was great to have my ds spend time with them, my step-mil made me very stressed. She's never had her own los, but knows all about raising children and proceeded to tell me how to raise my ds. When i suggested she did something or tried something and it went wrong she'd say 'mummy told me to'. she can't be wrong either, and i feel terrible that i didn't stand up to her when she put my ds on his tummy and he cried but instead of rushing to pick him up, past experience has taught me that she'd make a fuss and it would have been me who'd done something wrong. She also threw a party for some family to meet ds but refused an offer of any help with various excuses why not (control freakery bein the main one) then proceeded to throw a strop later on because noone was helping her! When I got upset she more or less told me to pull myself together, even though we were the ones who'd driven 9 hours and were waking up all night. My ds picked up on the fact that dh and I were stressed and didn't eat or sleep very well. Fil is lovely and as laid back as you like, but doesn't tell her she's being unreasonable-they've not been married very long and I think he likes a quiet life. She wants us to visit again or visit us but following the toxic experience last time, I really don't want her to, but I also don't want my fil to miss out onetime with his first grandson. Also, i feel a bit guilty that my parebts get to see ds lots as they're local. Please help!!