OaktreeandMe · 01/05/2013 16:36
Is it wrong to be hurt/upset when your partner masturbates? If it is done instead of having sex with your partner?
Can't help but feel hurt when it happens and hate being lied to when he pretends he hasn't done it. I want to be priority over porn and 'wanking'. Why do I feel like i'm not enough when I know this behaviour is normal for men?
MrsWolowitz · 01/05/2013 16:42
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CloudsAndTrees · 01/05/2013 16:47
There's nothing wrong with it if he can do it when he wants an still maintain a healthy sexual relationship with you. But if wanking and porn really is more important or enjoyable to him than having sex with his wife, then I would suggest that there is more than just this one issue going on.
Him lying about it is wrong, but understandable if he knows that the truth will result in a row when technically he's oing nothing wrong.
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 01/05/2013 17:01
It's an entirely different pleasure to sex. It's based on self gratification alone...sex entails thinking about someone else..ie you. Not everyone wants that ALL the time. He's entitled to wank...porn...not fond of that myself. But it is a separate issue.
OaktreeandMe · 02/05/2013 01:36
I have spoken to him about it. I think the problem is that he is too tired at night time. And he gets home early afternoon (before me) and satisfies himself so that at night he wouldn't really have a desire for anything because it's already been met.
This is why it makes me angry. Not enough effort is put into us. If I dont initiate sex or ask for it then it literally will never happen. That's not fair, I don't want to have to beg for it. That definitely lowers the self esteem!!
Fairylea · 02/05/2013 09:19
Sex and masturbation are entirely different. Masturbation is like a self massage really, it destresses you and can help you sleep! It doesn't have the same feelings as having sex or require the same energy levels.
Both dh and I masturbate sometimes, we don't discuss it really apart from occasionally we might laugh about it and tease each other playfully ("you're such a wanker!"- all banter).
It doesn't bother either of us at all but we do have regular sex too. It hasn't replaced sex.
Groovee · 02/05/2013 10:59
I don't have an issue with wanking. Sometimes I'm asleep and dh is horny and needs to relieve himself.
I would have an issue if he wasn't making time for me. Do you get time alone with no one else about or could you consider morning sex? I went through a stage of waking dh up at 4am for a shag! Was a nice start to the day.
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