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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think you have to be a little obsessed if you want to lose a lot of weight?

71 replies

lola88 · 30/04/2013 12:34

I have 2 stone to lose i'm on weight watchers and have lost 11lbs so far and am really into it, i count everything i eat for example ds and i shared a cake so i put in 1/2 fairy cake = 2 points. A few people have said that counting everything is a little obsessive but i think thats the whole point. It's kind of bothering me that people can't be suppostive they need to see it as a problem.

Also i don't have scales at home to resist the temptation to weigh in all the time so i walk up to my grans house on a sat morning to get weighed DP says this is crazy going all the way there (15 min walk) just to get weighed, i usually go and stay for the morning but have went up twice just to weigh in on my way somewhere else.

TBH i'm a little worried that maybe i am taking it to far but on the other hand if you don't follow the program correctly it's not going to work. I've lost 1-2lbs a week on average which is the recommended amount. So AIBObsessive?

OP posts:

Hercy · 30/04/2013 21:11

I don't think it's a bad idea to keep a food diary/count calories for a couple of weeks, or even a month. But I think once you've had that initial period to identify the amounts you're eating, what you should be cutting out, cutting down on etc then a common sense approach is far better for you. I think anyone who is reasonably educated knows what's good and what's bad for them, it's just temptation that can be an issue.

I would hate to spend my life counting calories or keeping a food diary. I would rather just eat how I know to be healthily (which in my opinion does not include cutting out food groups but having a balanced diet), exercise regularly and have the odd treat. I think counting calories for any sustained period would lead to being obsessive, as would completely abstaining from a particular food group.

That said, if it works for you, it works for you. And if someone wants to lose weight on weight watchers etc then good luck to them.

CloudsAndTrees · 30/04/2013 21:19

YANBU. You do have to be a bit obsessive over it, it won't work otherwise.

The problem is that that can become very boring for other people around you! If obsessive means that you are talking about it too much and you are no longer doing things that they used to enjoy doing with you, then it's understandable for others to get irritated by it.

When my closest friend was doing lighter life it became very hard work to be around her, which was sad because I love her and enjoy her company a lot.

specialsubject · 30/04/2013 21:41

I would say that if you live in a house where someone thinks a 15 minute walk is 'all the way there', then that might be part of the problem!

that should be a mile each way which is a good part of the recommended activity level. Good for you and keep it up.

diets only work short term. Lifestyle change to balance what you eat and what you burn off is the only way to stable weight. Sounds like what you are doing - good luck!

Latara · 30/04/2013 21:42

I'm trying to diet and i know that i've slipped up by NOT being obsessive enough so i've got to start again - got nearly 3 stone to lose! Wish me luck...

Uppatreecuppatea · 30/04/2013 21:44

The fact is, you have to be selfish to get what you want. And if being selfish means you control your weight loss, then so be it. Good luck to you!

RandallPinkFloyd · 30/04/2013 22:12

Wow, some fantastic success stories on here, really inspiring!

I'm just over 3 stone down with ideally another 2 to go. I started in January and have done it by weighing and logging every single thing I've eaten and drunk. (We have a thread on here called The Chiefs, were all doing different things but all using MFP)

You have to be "obsessive" because the odd half a cupcake here or couple of biscuits there is where the extra calories come from. Eating healthy meals is easy it's the little extras that sabotage you.

It also seems to be something people do because they're a bit jealous or resentful. I your DH perhaps getting all bent out of shape because you're concentrating on yourself more than usual?

Well done on all your hard work so far, half way there!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 30/04/2013 22:19

I'm going to disagree actually.

Any time that I actually 'diet' I get totally obsessed and all I can think about is food. I have been unhealthily overweight for over 10 years because of this.

Over the last 2 years I have lost 3 stone, and 9 inches off my waist. I don't count, measure, write anything down. I am the slimmest I have been in more than a decade.

milewalker · 30/04/2013 22:20

I've now lost 14 stone and have been/am prob obsessed but I like to call it dedicated, i'm dedicated to getting the body i'd like.
well done on your weight loss so far and good luck with the rest.

StuntGirl · 30/04/2013 23:08

"I'm going to disagree actually.

Any time that I actually 'diet' I get totally obsessed and all I can think about is food. I have been unhealthily overweight for over 10 years because of this.

Over the last 2 years I have lost 3 stone, and 9 inches off my waist. I don't count, measure, write anything down. I am the slimmest I have been in more than a decade."

Well done Ali. Glad you found an approach that works for you :) Many people find a much more regimented approach helpful to them, there's no right or wrong way just the way that works for you.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 30/04/2013 23:23

Stunt - absolutely. Whatever works, frankly!

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 30/04/2013 23:44

I prefer the word 'focused' rather than obsessed. You have a goal and you're doing what is required to reach it.

Well done for the weight loss so far! Keep up the good work and stay 'focused'

thezebrawearspurple · 01/05/2013 00:19

yanbu, I gained a few stone with my pregnancy and another couple of stone within two months after the birth due to medical issues. I was massive and it took many months of overexercising (tbh) and undereating to lose it. I still exercise a couple of hours a day just to maintain a normal weight although I'm slowly reducing that now in favour of more intense, shorter periods of exercise. The more you need to lose the more obsessed you have to be, it's a necessary obsession because it takes a lot of burnt energy to lose that weight!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 01/05/2013 07:51

YANBU... Some say 'obsessive', some say 'focused'. :) If you want to do something properly you have to give it 100% attention. Especially something like losing weight which is essentially a maths problem. I'm losing weight at the moment and find logging activity calories burned and food calories eaten is very reassuring. I've even downloaded the 'Map My Walk' ap on my phone to track me when I do my lunchtime power-walks. (Recommend it!)

Keep going, don't bore the family with it and good luck

Tortoiseontheeggshell · 01/05/2013 07:56

I wish I had to walk 15 minutes to weigh myself. What a fantastic motivation to build in a bit of exercise.

DinoSnores · 01/05/2013 08:23

haggis, 10 and a half stone?! Wow, well done!

YANBU. You only need to watch Secret Eaters to see how much people don't realise they are eating.

ppeatfruit · 01/05/2013 08:40

There other ways to lose weight besides cal. counting that's the Paul Mckenna WOE ( it does make you less obsessive because you eat what you want but much more slowly and consciously; BTW it effing works I've lost just under 3 stone to my target weight on it see our thread on the club page).

MansView · 01/05/2013 13:42

you need to be obsessive about it and make it a top priority...

some fat people are just to lazy and even seem proud of the fact they're obese...they need a lifestyle change as they're obviously doing something wrong...
people will go into it half hearted and wonder why nothing changes...

there's a woman at my gym - she's on the large side (size 18+) and going on the running machine - but most nights she goes on it for about 5-10 minutes and walks at a snails pace...she's probably wondering why nothing's changed... :(

FurryDogMother · 01/05/2013 14:00

5 stone down here - and not obsessive. I do everything I can NOT to obsess, after years of doing just that when low fat/low cal dieting. Now I just eat low carb. I know which foods I can and can't eat, so that's what I do, and rarely count anything. I do keep a food diary, but that's because I find it interesting to look back on, not to keep my eating in check. I know that if I eat mostly meat, eggs, cheese, fish, seafood, poultry, good fats and green leafy veg, plus the occasional berry, then I'll lose weight. If I eat bread, rice, pasta, spuds, sugar etc., then I won't. Makes it so simple to stick to, without dedicating my life to counting and calculating!

edwardsmum11 · 01/05/2013 14:15

I was an obsessed tracker of food when I went from 16 stone to 9 1/2 stone as I had to be. Was also an exercise nut.

MansView · 01/05/2013 15:04

another thing is portion size...

how many people eat until they can't eat no more - especially when they go out for a meal etc?

to me that's wrong..you only need to eat until you're about 85-90% full...

BigBoobiedBertha · 01/05/2013 23:09

If we are taking the whatever works approach, then the OP is BU. You don't necessarily have to be obsessive.

I don't like obsessive as a concept though. It seems to be a bit of an OTT way of thinking about it. Conscientious, committed, focussed, yes. But not going as far as obsessive.

I keep coming back to what happens when you reach target and your diet ends. What do you do then? Carry on counting every thing you eat? Can you do that for the rest of your life? Probably not, which is why diets generally fail. Better to change your lifestyle and eating habits than to be obsessive about counting everything just to get to a target you probably won't maintain.

Sh1ney · 01/05/2013 23:20

Yes,you have to be dedicated and focussed and what people don't seem to think about is that that determination and focus has to stay with you FOREVER.

Last September I achieved my target weight. I was a size 18 and over 15 stone. I am now size 8 and weight 9 stone 3. I have maintained between 9 stone and 9 stone 5 ish since then and it really is very difficult. I know my exact calorie intake for the day < sadly nowhere near 2000 cals that seems to be the recommended daily amount > and I write down everything I eat. I run three times a week and do spin classes. I only eat three times a day and don't snack, I make sure my three meals are nutritionally sound and filling. I have two 'treat meals ' a week - at the weekend, where I will have a meal and a pudding and just have whatever I fancy with a glass of wine or two. I don't touch alcohol at any other time. I remain motivated for health reasons < I want to stay in as good condition and healthy as I can possibly be > and I also have a completely insane clothes addiction but that's a whole other story.

So, keep doing what you're doing. I love being slim again and I don't intend to ever be overweight in the future if I can possibly help it.

LittleMissLucy · 01/05/2013 23:22

I'd say you do have to be constantly conscious of what your intake is and weight might be - but you don't automatically need to be obsessive. I can see how it might easily lead to that though.

ppeatfruit · 02/05/2013 08:13

Yes totally agree with BBB and Alibaba are we going to see you on the Paul Mckenna thread soon ?

YABU It's not natural to weigh up every effing thing you eat and its not necessary see my post upthread.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 02/05/2013 09:35

ppeat - not me I'm afraid :) I am doing so much better just not thinking about it at all, even in the very relaxed way of Pauling.

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