To prioritise punctuality when it concerns dc

[Littlehousesomewhere]

Dh thinks I am unreasonable to always plan ahead and insist on always being punctual when it comes to dc activities, parties, play dates.

The other day we were running late (because of dh) so I decided not to attend a toddler group that morning.

I would rather not go at all than be 10-15 minutes late. He said this is unreasonable. I do not like the feeling of being late and I feel being late puts dc at a disadvantage compared to their on-time peers.

I totally agree about being late for school, and I would always prioritise punctuality for stuff like this. But parties and toddler groups are different in my view, and I don't suppose a small child would even notice.

I do feel very sorry for kids who are consistently late for school.

Yanbu, I'm always late, and its takes the piss sometimes. Dp is even later than me so now I lie about the time we need to leave.

With the dc's I'm trying really hard bit to be late, and on the times they have been late they don't see to paticipate as much. Now whether that's because they are late or fed off my stress I'm not sure

I think yabu, of course punctuality varies vastly from person to person, I am very punctual re work or meeting someone for a specific event (like lunch etc) but not also for visiting places that. I found this interesting tho

I know other people don't mind arriving late but it is much nicer being there from the start. Dc can have more of a chat with the organisers (we don't have family/friends near us so I really like having the opportunity for them to speak with other adults). Dc can have first choice of toys without other toddlers already wanting them etc

So you aren't late because of wanting DC (or yourself) at a disadvantage, it's more so you can have an advantage (being early before other toddlers get there)

Not at all a criticism about wanting to do that but I do notice people often frame their actions as being so hey don't miss out rather than so hey can get ahead - what's wrong with wanting to get ahead if you aren't stepping on others to get there? Shows your DC that 'the early bird gets the worm etc' rather than 'if you aren't first you might as well forget the whole thing'

FYI in my DS early years I was chronically late (cumulative reasons) and his teacher at the time was lovely and told me even if the day was half over to still bring him because they much rather a child be there than be late. Those few episodes haven't marked his card - he is good at organising himself and gets to school in plenty of time himself (unless it's raining then wheedles a lift

be there late rather than not be there at all lol obvs coffee hasn't quite kicked in

If he can't manage his own time, and this impacts on you, then you have to manage it for him and treat him like a child.

You set a time, and you leave at that set time. It's up to him to prioritise his faffing. He can either make his own way there or go without being ready.

I say this as someone who was a terminal faffer, and unable to get out of the house on time. DH helps me in this by leaving me to it. I know what time I have to be ready to go, and it's up to me to be ready. If I'm not ready to leave in the morning, I make my own way to the station.

Also it may be good for your ds to learn that they can cope with being late on occasion,the world won't end.. I'd be more concerned that they'd end up stressed from effort of meeting your strict deadlines

Just to say I hate being late too! I think it comes from my mum nearly always being late when we were little. Both my sis and I are now pretty blooming punctual. I think being on time is a good habit to get into!

Try not to be concerned if it goes wrong sometimes though!

I sympathise, I hate being late to anything that has been arranged. It makes me feel nauseous and jittery.
It may have not have been as important in this situation, but it does make things less stressful getting there on time and being able to do things without feeling the need to rush.

My DP is awful when it comes to punctuality though, I think that's why I hate being late...

gybegirl yes I remember being late when I was a child and I hated it as well.

I do realise I need to relax a bit about it when it does happen. This has made appreciate how rarely we actually are late as I do think being on-time is advantageous to dc (thanks sacre I hadn't thought of it like that before).

And thanks to whoever said about it being good for dc to learn how to cope with being late. Hadn't thought of that either!

littlehouse, I just wanted to commend you, without being patronising I hope, on the way you've taken the views here on board?

That does sound patronising, I know, but you've listened to others views, more politely than they've been given!, and that doesn't always happen here!

Also best kids aren't stressed as it may lead them to rebel, like you and gybegirl, did against the stress of always being late!

Op I am going to go against the flow here and say I agree with you!
I can't be late for things, I am a running joke with everyone that knows me that wherever we go I am always there first and yes I would rather not go than turn up somewhere late.

I don't recommend you be like me as I do get to the point of fairly high anxiety if it looks like I could be late for something (not that I ever am!), I do understand how you feel

I understand! I hate being late and rushed and also have a reputation for being on time for arranged things.

I like to be early because of parking and places that get too busy.

Dh wouldn't mind going to a National Trust place or soft play at a reasonable time of 10:30 or 11:30. I want to enjoy the relative quietness of 9:00 am on a Saturday.

There is a child who is always late for rugby practice. The teacher is ex military and v strict. He says on the letter - if you are more than 5 mins late, you won't be able to play. (over the top, but they are his rules) Yet, this couple drop him off 10-25 mins late every week. He can't play for half an hour as the practice or game is in full swing and teams are picked. Poor lad. He always looks so gutted. What a waste of money too.