to let him fit her kitchen?

[Jelly15]

My friend (not close) divorced around five years ago. Six months ago she started having an affair with her boss but it has now ended (his wife found out). She has asked my husband, a carpenter, to fit her new kitchen. I trust my DH completely and despite her recently gained reputation, amoungst our mutual "friends", as a husband stealer, don't believe she would make a pass at him.

She is looking foward to her new kitchen and has been telling people about it and two friends have been shocked that I am happy for DH to fit it. They think I am being naieve and that even it nothing happens between them rumours will start. I told them that only if people make up lies will rumours start but they just laughed at me. So AIBU to not mind DH filling her kitchen?

Filling her kitchen

Is that a euphemism?

typo - meant fitting

Freudian.

And, FFS it takes TWO people to have an affair. Men are culpable too. Tell your friends to fuck off and grow up.

How ridiculous those friends are

YANBU.

This really gives me the rage. There is no such thing as a 'husband/wife stealer'. There are only husbands/wives who choose to have affairs.

Me too, Toby. This idea that a man is sooooooo helpless and has no control over his actions and a woman can come along and force him to have an affair with her really pisses me off.

Your friends are being ridiculous. Just because she had an affair with her boss doesn't mean she's waiting to jump on the next married man she's left alone with.

Surely she will pay him his going rate?

Of course yabu.

Your friends are just being silly.

I just don't get the whole 'blame the OW' mentality on here. Do these men have no free will?

Your friends are idiots. It's like they think their husbands will never have an affair because they can somehow prevent it happening, like they have an element of control over the situation. Nope. If someone wants to carry on behind their SO's back they'll find a way to do it, doesn't matter how many kitchens they're not allowed to fit.

Sorry, YANBU

So long as a fair price is being paid!

What toby said.

She's no more likely to come on to your DH, just because she's had an affair with a married man before, than a gay man is, just because he likes to have sex with men.

The grammar in that comment is awful, but I hope you get what I mean :o

U a n b u

This woman has no respect for a marriage. In her boss she met a man who had no respect for marriage.

As long as you are sure your DH is trust worthy then carry on.

agree with Toby.

Thanks for the replies, I was sure I was not being unreasonable but when two, normally sensible, women act that way, I did, almost, start to wonder if I was the unreasonable one.

Some perfectly sensible seeming women appear to have undergone a lobotomy when it comes to the behaviour of men

OP, your h should fit this woman's kitchen and if your friends have any more to say about it or you think they are revelling in any kind of speculation, tell them to STFU

I think your friends' attitude says more about their insecurities concerning their own relationships tbh.

I think that's really nice of your husband, and I wouldn't worry at all.