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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why parents potty train rather than toilet train?

56 replies

choceyes · 29/04/2013 15:12

I'm in the process of toilet training my 2.7yrs old DD. Straight on to the toilet. She's doing great, only a week from starting training and 5 days of no accidents.
I never got the concept or usefulness of a potty (luckily neither DC did either). How do you clean it out? In the sink? With wipes? It's all a bit yeuk whichever way.

I overheard a conversation between some mums in a toddler group last week about how they are having difficult going from potty to toilet. Why not just use toilet from the start? I really don't get it.
Even the HV, when I went to the 2yr check up said to put her on the potty and when I said I put them straight on the toilet she said, no put them on the potty.
What am I missing?

OP posts:
KatoPotato · 29/04/2013 15:14

If you don't have a downstairs toilet it can be very difficult to catch!

bubbles1231 · 29/04/2013 15:15

Small children are often afraid of the abyss below them on a big toilet. There is also a fear of falling in?

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 29/04/2013 15:16

I toilet trained 2 of my dc and potty trained the other 2. It depends on what the child takes to better, its not really for you to 'get' people do things differently, its no big deal.

megandraper · 29/04/2013 15:20

Ditto to what Kato said.

Plus, if your child is happy with the toilet, that's great. Mine were a bit scared of the toilet and didn't want to sit on it, while they were perfectly happy to sit on the potty. Much better to have a trained child who eventually moves to the toilet at their own pace, than a constipated one who resists going because they dislike the toilet, or finds the position awkward! Might help if you have a low-down toilet. Our toilets are relatively high ones, which I think makes the DC feel more unstable on them.

Re: cleaning. Don't know what others do, but I empty the potty into the toilet (with a sweep of loo paper if required), then run water into it from the sink and tip that into the toilet. I squirt a bit of liquid soap in to the potty and fill it with water and empty into the loo a couple more times. Also use an antibacterial spray over the potty at the end, though I am a bit OCD and not sure that's really necessary.

Yes, much nicer not to have to bother, so if you don't need to then great. I would have quite liked to miss the potty stage out, but it doesn't last forever (I hope, got a third still in nappies to go).

Original poster
choceyes · 29/04/2013 15:21

aahh ok thanks.
We do have a downstairs toilet.
Neither DC has been scared of falling down. DD infact doesnt' even want the toilet training seat on and she doesn't want me to hold her either.
Do people who use potties start potty training earlier (fear of falling in etc)?
I waited till DS was 3yrs and would have waited the same for DD, but she was so ready for it so we started earlier.

OP posts:
dimdommilpot · 29/04/2013 15:21

We did toilet rather than potty with dd (2.6) as there will almost always be a toilet wherever we are. My friend carries her ds's potty around in a plastic bag. Didnt fancy that much. DD has used a potty though and tends to prefer this at nursary however on the most part uses a toilet.

EarnestDullard · 29/04/2013 15:22

Potties are portable, toilets aren't. Potties are also easier for the child to use themselves once they've cracked the inital training stage.

Booboostoo · 29/04/2013 15:23

We have no downstairs toilet and steep, awkward stairs so it takes ages to go upstairs (and breaks my back as DD cannot negotiate the stairs alone). Toilet attachment thingeys can be quite difficult for some toddlers, DD is able to climb up ours but can't turn herself round at the top.

The potty is cleaned in the toilet, why would you ever clean it in the sink?!! Contents down the toilet and the potty cleaned with wipes. Not very difficult really.

TheBigJessie · 29/04/2013 15:24

Depends how titchy your toddlers are, really. Mine were smaller than average and were quite reasonably terrified of falling down!

Startail · 29/04/2013 15:24

Neither of mine used the potty much. DD1 climbed everything, so seeing her older DF use the loo, she did too.

DD2 just copied DD1. Also DD2 did one day a week at nursery and both did various toddler groups and swimming so they'd always used the toilet some of the time.

UserError · 29/04/2013 15:24

We don't have a downstairs toilet, but are hopefully going to toilet train and skip the potty. It all depends on DS though, he's nearly three and showing no signs, but he has a major speech delay so I doubt the poor bugger will be ready anytime soon.

I was hoping for this summer, but he'll need to be able to 'tell' me when he needs to go and we're not quite there yet. He does like to disappear off into a corner to do a poo though (bit like our cats!) so he can recognise when he needs to poo which is a good sign.

bubbles1231 · 29/04/2013 15:25

Both DS's were done at 3years. DS2 was very independent and I remember him not wanting me in there, and wanting to wipe himself. It all went really quiet for a long time and I peeped in to discover he had got poo on his hands, all over the sink, taps and wall as he tried to wash his hands- poor mite.

Original poster
choceyes · 29/04/2013 15:25

OK seems like I've just maybe been lucky that my 2 DCs have taken to the toilet well.
MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel - I do know that people do things differently, and I always see the pros and cons of whatever way it is and each to their own etc, but I just couldn't see the pros of potties. But then if you have a child scared of the toilet it does make sense.

OP posts:
Original poster
choceyes · 29/04/2013 15:32

"Potties are portable, toilets aren't. Potties are also easier for the child to use themselves once they've cracked the inital training stage."

I don't want to carry potties everywhere, no way. I don't drive, so I don't want to have to carry a portable potty with me, and I'm hoping to get rid of the buggy soon, so even less chance of me ever carrying a potty around.
I've never had to look for a toilet for more than a couple of mins.
When you say easier for them to use past the initial training phase, do you mean you leave them to clean themselves too? Otherwise I can't see how it makes them anymore independant? My 4.5yr can now clean himself well without any input from me, but till he was about 4yrs he needed me to wipe his bum.

OP posts:
MummytoKatie · 29/04/2013 15:54

I didn't realise it was an either / or!

We did / do a mix depending on whether we are downstairs (where the toilet seat and step was) or upstairs (where the potty was).

I did my PT / TT at about 6 months pregnant though so wanted to limit my lugging on and off the toilet.

mercibucket · 29/04/2013 15:56

we had one of those seats you put over the loo and it was easier than using a potty
i would never take a potty out with me, bleurgh Grin
but we did have a potty downstairs too

KellyElly · 29/04/2013 15:57

Quicker to get to the potty than the loo, so less accidents. Also the 'fear factor' of a loo for some kids.

TattyDevine · 29/04/2013 16:00

The thing that jumped out for me in your original post was "2 years 7 months. Whilst its not a race, both my boy and girl were clean and dry during the day at 2 years 1 month and the boy was dry at night 2 years 5 months and the girl 2 years 2 months

I don't believe they were ready to achieve this using exclusively a toilet, however they were able to go to the toilet when out so it wasn't inconvenient (except in the 1st week when I had to cart around a travel potty which wasn't the end of the world)

I did try and take the potty away a few weeks later but they regressed so I'd rather have them out of nappies and not "fail" by going back but use a potty at home than insist on a toilet or deal with accidents.

Hope that all makes sense - a lot of the people I know who waited till 2 and a half or closer to 3 did go straight to the toilet, and that's a good reason to wait - but if you want the out of nappies sooner (and I did because they kept exploding and driving me mad) then a potty can be a valuable thing.

TattyDevine · 29/04/2013 16:01

Just to add, by the 2 year 7 month point they were both exclusively using a toilet, so they did get there around the same time as yours but just had that earlier bit without nappies due to the easy "transitional" nature of a potty, if that makes sense.

EarnestDullard · 29/04/2013 16:02

I meant portable round the house if, as some have already mentioned, you don't have a downstairs toilet. And for my second point, I just mean that she can go and sit down and make a start before I have to trail after her and wipe her bum :) She does use the big toilet now when we're out (we had a travel potty initially though) and sometimes at home, with a toddler adapter seat thingy.

TattyDevine · 29/04/2013 16:02

Whereas other children will become attached to the potty like they do their dummies/pacifiers so you can't always predict these things and it depends on the child...

SpottyTeacakes · 29/04/2013 16:02

Dd uses both. We don't have a downstairs loo but even if we did she can't get on it herself even with her stool.

She's just had a wee on her potty as I'm feeding ds so can't take her upstairs.

Hullygully · 29/04/2013 16:06

I never understood the potty thing either, always had a child seat on the loo and they just used that.

Sokmonsta · 29/04/2013 16:09

Potties are easier for me as the dc were terrified of the drop and we had a sod of a toilet to find a seat to fit.

Then I had twins so potties will be useful as inevitably both will want to go at the same time.

Fenton · 29/04/2013 16:10

Yup, me too, trained both of mine straight to the toilet. Never used a potty.